(Closed) Lesbian couple seeks child support from sperm donor? Really?

posted 5 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Member
6113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Actually, it’s the state that is forcing him to pay child support. The couple supports him and has stated that they do not believe he should pay. Still BS that even when the couple says they don’t want him to pay, he’s still being forced to :

Post # 5
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Darling Husband was just texting me about this an hour ago. Guess he has babies/ttc on his mind haha

Post # 6
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

They were forced to reveal the name of the “donar”.  Perhaps if they had done it legally, with a DR. involved, and an attorney for the parental rights termination….. this wouldn’t have happened. 

I don’t think the law makers that approved gay couples adopting/marrying thought far enough ahead, to something like this situation.( Since only one of the mother’s is named on the birth cert).  The gove is usually behind on how to handle new situations tho.

Post # 7
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s sad, yes. But that is why going through a clinic is so encouraged. Tons of testing is done in clinics as well as waiving legal obligation. I get that they didn’t want to spend the money in order to have a family, but why did they list this man as the donor in the first place?

Post # 8
Member
6113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jpalm13:  yeah I only knew that because I heard it on the radio. I re-read the article just to make sure though. Apparently it has something to do with the fact that the couple is now getting financial benefits from the state…

Post # 9
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@RoyalLime:  The state forced them to name him, as I understand.  They were not in support of providing his information, but were told that they would receive zero support if they did not provide his information.  

It’s a tough situation, many people will jump on the “why didn’t you go through a clinic?” wagon, but in reality, artificial insemination can be incredibly expensive and not all couples who want to have children can afford it. 

Seeking monetary support from any other possible party is something that government welfare offices are skilled at.  This type of thing happens in Canada too, but most of it doesn’t get reported to the media. 

I feel sorry for all of the parties involved. 

Post # 10
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

they named him because there daughter racked up $6k in medicare bills last year and the gove wants some money to cover it.  The gove said they would no longer extend insurance to the daughter if they didn’t name the father.

Post # 11
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@IzzyBear:  Bingo.  When you apply for state funds they can force you to reveal the name of the legal father and the state will assist with going after that father for child support.  In this case, he is still legally the father because he did not go through the legal process associated with terminating his rights.  Parents cannot contract away a right that goes to the child (i.e. child support.)  It’s one of the first things they teach in family law regarding custody and child support.

Unfortunately for the father in this case, he will likely be forced to pay child support.

Post # 12
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Happy2bMrs:  I feel sorry for them too. Don’t get me wrong I get it, I really do. My DH’s sister is a lesbian and they used a clinic twice to have my neices. What I don’t understand is how people can have one night stands, not name the father, and get government assistance with no issues. Just another equal rights issue if you ask me…

Post # 13
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@RoyalLime:  Sorry – was meaning to direct the majority of my comment to the rest of posters and didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t “get it”.  I’m sorry it came off that way!

I totally agree with your opinion – just wanted to clarify that when single moms apply for assistance, they have to go through the same process to identify the father of the baby.  Sometimes it can get downright insulting how much information the state tries to get out of someone.  I’ve seen it get pretty nasty when there are allegations of abuse involved (where the state is trying to get info from a woman who is fleeing abuse – she doesn’t want to tell them because she’s afraid he will find her) and the state forcers her to identify him which can put her at risk.  

For women who have one-night stands or multiple potential fathers, it gets tricky but they do actually have to go through the same process.  Just wanted to clarify that it isn’t necessarily an equal rights issue, if that helps at all. 

Post # 14
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Happy2bMrs:  I wasn’t at all offended by your statements. Don’t worry 🙂 I wasn’t aware that so many steps are taken for anyone seeking assistance. Thank you for that clarification.

Post # 15
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Why go to all that trouble to have a child and then not be able to be financially responsible for its medical expenses? Why Medicaid? Why not health insurance?

Post # 16
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@lh526:  Sometimes shit happens and people with health insurance wind up without it.

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