Post # 1
SO and I were married about just over 1.5 years ago after several years of long distance. I’m not going to lie, the first year of marriage was tough. I was jobless, immigrating, adjusting to a new city, et cetera et cetera, nevermind living in a cramped 1 bedroom. This past September, I took a temporary position out of state because it would put us in a better position financially, and it was necessary for my career. This was a mutual decision. The start and end dates were set, so we knew going into it that it would only last until the middle of spring. We saw each other frequently in the Fall, including two long visits on my part, but will not be able to see other much until April. While we were dating, we spoke on Skype/FT a few times a week. Now, as a married couple, we rarely communicate that way. We text, but we don’t call each other. We’re both pretty independent, and marriage offers offers a comfort/security that dating does not, but I’m worried that our of desire to speak on the phone/Skype/Ft signals that something is off. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to call because I feel like we have nothing to say–we do the same thing, day-in, day-out, no kids or pets to discuss, etc. Anyone else in a similar situation?
Post # 2
Make the effort to communicate more. You’ll find things to say. You can have dinner together over skype. Watch a movie or TV show while on the phone. Hell, have phone sex!
Communication is an essential part of any relationship and it doesn’t become less important when you are married. If anything it’s more important.
Post # 3
I have had a semi-commuting relationship with Darling Husband the last year or two. I’m gone Mon – Thurs but home Fri-Sun. We both work long hours and we don’t talk on the phone much but we do text a few times a day. However we then do a BIG catch up talk sesh over the weekend discussing what happened at work, other news/gossip that we’ve heard over the week, etc.
If we’re more than 2 weeks apart without seeing each other, we’ll have at least 1 or 2 long conversation a week (1+ hr) to catch up and stay updated on what’s going on in the other’s life.
You may benefit from scheduling a regular talk session at a fixed time that you keep each week.
Post # 4
Actually, we’re in a very similar situation – long distance when dating and after two years of marriage, husband got a job that involved travel. Granted, we still talk on the phone every day, but for shorter times and not nearly as much FTing etc. We also don’t have kids or pets and I feel like we run out of things to say but the other factor is when we were dating, we were still in getting to know you mode. These days, after 5.5 years, we basically know everything about each other and it’s hard to find things to discuss when we’re not creating new experiences together. It’s a relief to know that someone else has a similar experience.