Post # 1
I’m not insecure about my choice of eloping.
We’re getting married in Paris. In Paris you either jump through serious and lengthy hoops to have a civil ceremony there or you have your Symbollic wedding there and your civil ceremony at home.
Is it going to feel silly to have only a symbollic ceremony?!? I mean, either we are no married when we leave Paris (if we have legal ceremony at home afterward) or we are just doing it over again if we have our legal ceremony first.
After all the time and money spent, i just…I don’t know. What say you?
Should this be in the emotional board?
Post # 3
not less meaningful, not less married, not pretend, not silly. Just a difference between “legally married” and “had a wedding ceremony”, which only matters if it matters to you.
Post # 4
@mandypop: I know you’re right. And it’s never bothered me until tonight.
I don’t know why it’s bothering me now. Thanks for your thoughts.
Post # 5
As someone who has eloped and is now having another ceremony that is only going to be “symbolic”… no I do not think it is silly or a waste of time. Do it the way that feels right to you. Don’t worry about what others think. They will both be meaningful in the end!
Post # 6
Look at it this way – if you are religious, despite your church wedding, the state says you are not married unless you get their license too. For your church, you’re not married unless it’s done there, regardless of what the state has sanctioned. I see plenty of wiggle room!
I think that a ceremony witnessed by your loved ones will make you and your fiancée feel married – going to the court house when you get back can be a humorous formality.
Post # 7
I think that eloping in Paris sounds wonderful, whether or not it is civil or symbolic
Post # 8
@axeyourmakeupkit: Think of it this way – my aunts “legal” wedding feels less authentic to them then their “symbolic” wedding. They’ve been together for 21 years. They had a ceremony about 10 years ago after getting through a really rough patch – which of course was not legally recognized as anything. They got “legally civil-unionized” last year so that they would have legal benefits for health insurance and life insurance – but it was really a formality – to them, they’d already been “married” for a decade.
I don’t see it being any different for straight folks!
Post # 9
@LadyPeace: As someone who has eloped and is now having another ceremony that is only going to be “symbolic”… no I do not think it is silly or a waste of time. Do it the way that feels right to you. Don’t worry about what others think. They will both be meaningful in the end!
Ditto! To me the courthouse wedding was very nice (nicer then I truly expected to be honest) and I felt married afterwards, but it wasn’t complete until I had my family and his and our friends there to celebrate with us. The 2nd ceremony didn’t at all feel fake or a waste of time. It all depends on what you want!