(Closed) Less than 24 hrs in and a Bridesmaid is taking over

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FreckledFox:  You thank her for her enthusiasm but gently let her know the Maid/Matron of Honor is the chief bridesmaids. Everytime she calls you with something or suggests an idea and point her in the direction of the Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 4
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with LuvMySailor

Hopefully she is just super excited and just does not know how to reel it in. A gentle friendly reminder will hopefully help. Just stay consistent with relaying her to ask your Maid/Matron of Honor about anything.

Post # 5
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

lol! My sister was kinda like that. It didn’t bother me, I humor her but stand my ground ( she tried to tell the girls what to buy for their dresses…um yeah no, I decide that! I took it as a compliment that she wnted to help:)

Post # 6
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You know, I would actually take a different approach with it.  It’s counter productive to try to lower someone’s enthusiasm (for pretty much anything) so I would actually work with your Maid/Matron of Honor to find something that the bridesmaid can ‘own’, but just set ground rules that ultimately the Maid/Matron of Honor has leadership over the project.  Why be a buzz kill?  The only thing you don’t want is for her project to be gauche.  But if you give her something to focus her energy on it, she’ll stay out of your hair and it may totally rock.  Give her something really difficult like finding a great 3 piece jazz band for $300 or getting the booze bill knocked down to a 40% discount.  Or all of your decorations priced at wholesale.  Or keeping the best man sober.  I mean, seriously, use the energy to your advantage!  I’ll borrow her, if you’re lending her out….

Post # 7
Member
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I have a Maid/Matron of Honor who thinks she’s the bride! A couple months before Fiance and I got engaged I showed my dream dress to a couple friends including one who would go on to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and she seriously crapped all over it. It’s a tea length 1950’s style dress with a very full petticoat which was one of my favorite things about it and she started saying that I should wear it without a petticoat then she started saying I should go shopping at different bridal salons and pick something else out completly. I stood firm and told her this was my dream dress and I didn’t want any thing else.

Flash forward to last weeekend I told her I put the deposit down on the dress already and she actually said to me that maybe I can get my deposit back. Seriously, my jaw dropped, I told her the deposit was non-refundable and that this was the dress I wanted to wear and she just said to tell her who the dressmaker was and she would talk to her and convince her to give me my money back. I am still pissed a week later. She always says these things in a very light tone but I know part of her is dead serious. If this is the way things are going to be then I am not discussing any details of my wedding with anyone ever again!

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t say anything.  Unless she is trying to push the Maid/Matron of Honor out of the way at the ceremony so that she gets to sign as the witness, there aren’t really any official rules on who does what. 

If Bridesmaid or Best Man is wanting to host a shower, then have Maid/Matron of Honor join forces with her and co-host.  But that is between Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Many MOH’s would be glad to have someone to share those roles with. 

I think if you say anything you risk damaging the relationship which isn’t your goal. 

Post # 9
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@novacaineandlaughter:  

I actually just said outloud “what a b****”.  I don’t even know what to say to that, actually.  I’m literally appalled.  I would seriously be rethinking my Maid/Matron of Honor choice if mine repeatedly tried to go around what I have clearly stated. 

Post # 10
Member
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@WillyNilly:  One of my favorite things about her is that she has a biting sense of humor but I just never expected it to turn against me ):<

Also I chose her because of her zeal for planning and DIY but I think she’s letting her enthusiasm get to her head, if she makes any more comments I’m going to sit her down and remind her that her duties don’t really extend past helping me with projects, showing up at the wedding sober, and making a speech that doesn’t embarrass me.

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