Post # 1
Have any of you experienced a less than positive reaction from friends or family when you got engaged, or showed them the ring?
I had always thought getting engaged and married were sort of set aside as “your day”, and it’s presumed that you celebrate that day for your friends and family. I was not prepared for one of my closest friend’s reactions, whom I had always thought would be my bridesmaid. Her now-husband did not propose and she always made a big deal about how they made the mature decision to get married without the hoopla, which I respected. When my Fiance proposed over the holidays on vacation, she asked a ton of questions, and after three requests for ring pics, she was the only friend I sent one to. As soon as she saw it she never responded to me again – I sent a few follow up messages but have heard nothing back. This is out of character for her.
Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? It has driven me nuts since it happened because I don’t understand, and I can’t help but let it take away from the excitement I hoped to share with a close friend, and make me feel like I have done something wrong.
Post # 2
Share it here! I would like to see 🙂
Post # 3
Would love to see it!!!
Often reactions from our closest friends are not always what we expect or want. Sadly saying nothing at all is often as hurtful as a negetive comment…..I hope your sort it out long before the wedding…..if not, rethink your choice of bridal party, one of my closest friends who is also my cousin, showed very little interest in my wedding planning and was often “unavailable” for certain shopping dates etc…it really made me wish i had not involved her and let someone who was super interested in every single detail stand up there with me……..probably way too soon to be the case for you but food for thought if things dont improve
Good luck and Congratulations
Post # 4
I find that texting is not always the best form of communication. Many times, things are misunderstood that way. Have you actually tried to talk to her on the phone or face to face about it? Just bc she has not responded to your messages/pics yet, doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad. There could be other explanations. Don’t let it rob you of your joy. Congratulations btw!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel
Can we see a picture of the ring? She is probably jealous
Post # 6
Your friend probably makes a big deal about how she’s so ‘mature’ for not having a big proposal because she actually feels insecure about it, if she felt secure she wouldn’t feel the need to do this. Your ring picture probably triggered her green eyed monster. You did nothing wrong, just leave her to deal with her jealousy. Also, let’s see your ring pics!
Post # 7
Post pictures here! I will happily gush about it, and your engagement. Congrats! And as for your friend, two things. a. A lesson all brides/grooms have to learn is that it’s very rare anyone will be as excited as you are. I know you want everyone to be all delighted and invested, I’ve been there. But it doesn’t really happen, at least not for more than a few days. Or off the Bee. and b. Your friend sounds jealous and upset, IMO. I can’t imagine why she would make such a big deal over her “mature” proposal if she wasn’t overcompensating. Or just very egotistical.
Post # 8
Your friend is envious, which is awkward, but also not your problem. Your experience doesn’t need to be given a negative spin by her behaviour! NOw, pics of ring please 🙂
WE are all delighted for you, yay!!!!!!!!!!! x
Post # 9
I have been so shocked and how horrible people can be!!
One childhood friend had been messaging me about a breakup, I comforted her and she told me she loved me so much and I was such a great friend. A week later I messaged her checking how she was and told her I got engaged. She never replied. It’s been four months.
Another friend acted snarky about us living apart just now and asking lots of challenging questions about how it was going to work. She comes and goes with how nice she is about it. I think she’s dying to get engaged to her partner…
My FIs sister in law sent me a nasty email then her and her husband started sending long texts to my Fiance about all the things he had done wrong to them (over the past three years how long we’ve been together). Then didn’t come to our engagement party.
My FIs grandparents haven’t asked us a single question about it but yet expect me to listen to them go on and on about their great grandson.
My mum has just been absolutely completely horrible. that’s been the worst. She’s decided she has a problem(s) with my fiancé, his family, me in general.. getting married in general (as it seems to mean no career and being a stay at home mum to her – this is what she did). She has never rationally sat down and discussed what I want for my future. Just accusations. Then gets mad when I get mad and accuses me of ‘not listening’ to her advice. But what is the advice… that I should break up with this wonderful man?? Gahhh sorry I could go on.
My advice to any friends getting married will be to NOT so a long engagement. It seems to be this limbo land that people take very seriously but feel they can attack.
Post # 10
Well, it’s probably one of two things, she’s jealous or she really isn’t impressed. Now, in my opinion a true friend would tell you either way however, if she’s holding back its most likely that she’s jealous. It’s much more difficult to admit that then to say the later.
Post # 11
I’d love to see your ring on here!!
But as for your question my best friend told me ‘not to rub it in her face’ that I was getting married when I told her and refused to speak about it unless it was negatively. It happens unfortunately – engagements and weddings bring out the worst in people
Post # 12
People tend to react badly when they’re jealous. I have to admit, I have myself. my friend found out she was pregnant with her 4th baby. She’s a great person and a wonderful mom. When she told us she was pregnant everyone else jumped up and hugged her, and I burst into tears. I want another child so badly but can’t have one for health reasons – and in the moment was so jealous that she could have 4. It was nothing against her – but I know she thought it was. Our friendship suffered a lot after that.
So consider that people around you are acting badly because they’re jealous that you have a great guy, a beautiful ring, a fantastic wedding coming up, and a great future, where they might be on the verge of a breakup, or might have had a sad little wedding when they really wanted a big one (that’s most mom’s excuse for trying to take over the daughter’s wedding planning).
Post # 13
She probably saw your ring and is envious or something. Share it here! I too would like to see it. Congratlultations by the way 🙂
Post # 14
Why do we always have to go to jealousy and envy between women? Perhaps she got busy and didn’t immediately answer the text and forgot, perhaps she had something go down in her personal life and isn’t up for talking about a ring right now. Did you ask her how her holidays were? Did you wish her a happy New Year, or was it all ring ring ring? If she’s your friend, pick up the phone and call her and ask her how she’s doing. If she says she’s all good, just let her know you were worried when she didn’t respond to your ring picture and wanted to check-in. How hard is that?
And as someone who had a similiar experience re: low key “proposal”, elopement and no big hoopla, that worked for me, but I’ve certainly always had a blast celebrating with others – it’s not some huge regret that I didn’t do the big wedding thing and I just can’t bear to see others do it. Give her some credit if she’s such a close friend.
Post # 15
She’s probably just jealous, wishing she had the same experience now that she sees someone else doing it. Consider that maybe she’s distancing herself because she’s afraid her jealousy will cause her to say something she shouldn’t or simply act weird. Give her time to come around before you take it personally. It probably has nothing to actually do with you as a person.