(Closed) Less than Positive Reactions from Friends

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
56 posts
Worker bee

I don’t believe in always accusing others of jealousy, but i’m almost certain this is a case of jealousy! It’s really that simple. 

PS Your ring is everything and more! simply gorgeous! 

Post # 35
5785 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
graces7 :  Thank You, you sound like a good friend too. Maybe she has a lot on her plate right now with the pregnancy etc. And I do know what it’s like to get in your own head sometimes or be envious- I’ve been there myself occasionally and admittedly envy a few wealthier extended fam who’ve never once in their life had to worry about money- but when we envy someone we have to make sure it doesn’t show, that it doesn’t affect our behaviour. So even if your friend envies your proposal, even if she’s in her own head about it, she needs to realize that this is all it is….envy….that YOU haven’t done anything wrong and she shouldn’t be allowing such feelings to affect her actions or your relationship. There’s a quote I’ve read here on weddingbee- ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ (I think that’s it) and it’s very apt. Hopefully your friend will realize this and come around and be happy for you. 

Post # 36
39 posts

I just wanted to add you did say she just moved away and she is pregnant. Those are massively stress inducing on their own dealing with them together was probably a nightmare. Then again she could be like me I am very much the kind of person that prefers texts over calls and sometimes I will respond in my head and forget to text back in reality. It is rare but I have done it and the only reason i realize it is the other person sends another text and I see I did not respond or I wonder why they did not respond and check.

Also: I love your ring. Solitaires just have something about them that makes them so lovely.

Post # 37
49 posts
  • Wedding: August 2018

Well… first things first, I feel like you shouldn’t worry about it. Give her time to respond- you never know the real reason she hasn’t responded, so stop speculating. 🙂

Second- enjoy the excitment of those who ARE excited. I had the same issue when I told my brother- but this is common for him so I brushed it off.

It sounds to me like your close, so don’t feel upset about it all just yet. When/ if she responds ask her about it.

I hope it all works out 🙂

Post # 38
672 posts
Busy bee

That ring is stunning!!! Congrats!!! I’ll be honest I didn’t read all of the comments. But don’t be hard on yourself — honestly you sound like a really great friend! THis is going be up on the cheese scale, (oh man!) but any girl would be lucky to have a friend like you! Maybe it’s not about you like others suggested, or maybe it is. Time will tell but I think you should just call her. This is an exciting time in your life, and even if she is pregnant and feeling crummy or moved and has stuff going on, I’d tend to agree it isn’t normal to not respond after hounding you for a picture. Especially is she normally does as a text person. A return text does not take much time. A friend would and should be there for you in such a happy time even if she has “stuff” going on. I think it’s somewhat rude to be honest. And jealousy is a natural assumption. My first reaction is maybe she did not receive the text. That happens. Send a follow up. If it’s a jealousy issue i don’t think that the assumption automatically equates to a flawed personality or immaturity on your part. She is either jealous, rude or self absorbed — short of a personal tragedy. Even then I’d respond to a friend. I do not feel that she is upset at you as you think is a possibility for not being interested enough in her pregnancy as you suggest just because of the timing of her silence. I’d text her. Then follow up the next day with a phone call. Good luck. And regardless of the outcome go be happy. Don’t let someone rob you of that! 

Post # 40
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Like PPs have said, definitely call her up and see how she’s feeling about her life. I think your approach is great. A less mature person would call her up and ask why she wasn’t happy enough, and that’s obviously a horrible way to go about this. 

My best friend was happy for me when I got engaged, but had a really hard time expressing anything but negativity. We were able to have a heart to heart in person, fortunately, and it cleared the air. She told me that she felt sad that she wasn’t engaged after being with her bf for 4 years and that she was jealous. I told her I was bummed because I was excited to share my happiness with her, but I could get where she was coming from. Then we both hugged and cried a little (we’re criers), and all was well. She’s shown hints of negativity, indifference, and jealousy off and on, but now I know it isn’t personal and I also know to keep the wedding talk with her to a minimum. Good luck!

Post # 41
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

No one I showed my ring to really said one thing or the other about it.  It was like silence.  And ya…  The slience threw me off a little…  

I wanted a large stone and I got one.  I’m happy with it.  One of my friends I’ve known a very long time was excited about the ring itself.  That particular friend has a large stone also.  I guess my only point is just be happy with the ring and everything.  And know you will get some mixed emotions from people for one reason or another at times.

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