(Closed) Lesson learned! DO NOT DISCUSS things with anyone

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sorry to hear about that. I don’t talk about my issues with my husband with anyone, it isn’t their business. You friends will never know the full situation and can never understand whaty ou two are going through so just keep it to yourself. If you need to talk to someone, talk to your husband. If that’s not an option, I talk to my sister.

Post # 4
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

I’m sorry you’re going through this!  But yes it’s a good rule of thumb to not discuss your personal relationship issues regarding your husband/boyfriend/fiance with friends.  It just seems to add to the drama, from what I’ve seen.  Good luck, I hope things turn out ok!

Post # 5
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Zmommy:  The only people I trust are my parents. I don’t trust friends. I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope things work out.

Post # 6
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Zmommy:  So sorry. People need to learn to shut the hell up and not get involved in things that aren’t their business.

But now you know not to trust these people, and to be way more careful about what you share and with whom.

Post # 7
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That is exactly why experts say never discuss your relationship problems with friends or family- even if your confidante can be trusted, they learn things about your SO that they can’t unlearn and it can be really awkward if your friends hate your SO. Still, I understand the need to vent and the feeling that it’s over anyways so who cares who you tell?

I hope you confront your friend about this. What a horrible thing to do.

Post # 8
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I mean.. you involved her in your relationship. The only person you should vent to about your spouse is a therapist if you’re having fights so big that you’re planning on leaving him and he’s staying with friends. 

Post # 9
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Diplomat Country Club

Oh man i’ve been there so i feel you. It was actually the other way around for me she came to me and confided in me and she found out stuff about her boyfriend who was my husband best friend through some other people and kept asking me if it’s true i said no but then she went and told him I SAID THEM which was so untrue but anyways i ended up having to talk to them both together cause she kept telling me she never told him that he kept saying that’s what she said you said so confronted them both together and he realized she was lying and that i never told her anything about anything (i mean come on it’s none of my business what your boyfriend does with other girls he is my husband best friend and i just meet you i ain’t getting involved). The other thing that happened i confinded in this girl just like she was married to husband best friend too and told her about a few things that happend to guide her through her relationship well she told her husband he told my husband (thank goodness there were things he already knew) but that made me choose whom i talked to about my probs.

Trust me best come to the bee and vent versus talking to people in your circle

Post # 10
Member
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ugh. This is why I don’t talk to anyone when SO and I fight. I don’t want people getting involved.

I hope that you and your husband are able to work things out.

Post # 11
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t talk to people, either your family or friends when you are fighting. The only friends you can trust are the ones that truly understand that it is a phase, it is just a fight and you can trust them not to view your Darling Husband in a different light. Frankly that’s really hard to find. You have enough struggles in your marriage without friends and family meddling and having their opinios being tainted. Best of luck to you.

 

Post # 12
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I rarely share any relationship issues with anyone. Occassionaly I might share a trivial issue with a friend or one of my sisters, but never anything major.

 

You should be livid as said friend. She violated you trust and your friendship.

 

That’s why the Bee is so awesome; You can vent and share things that you can’t normaly share with people who you know!

Post # 13
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ok…your so called friend was so completely wrong. I wouldn’t discuss ANYTHING with this friend anymore. What I don’t get is why did your friend even send the email? Another thing, I don’t get why his friend and wife were even involved with this. I would be pissed at the friend but also at his friend and wife. What some s***-stirring people!

Post # 15
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m really sorry that this happened to you. My best suggestion would be to keep it between you and your husband in the future. If you really feel the need to vent – do it with a parent. They are much more likely to keep it to themselves than a friend would. 

Hopefully you and your husband get through this. Maybe some couples counseling would be able to help you guys with your blowouts. 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

the only person you talk deeply personal relationship issues stuff with is a therapist!  Which is why I think everyone should have one on hand to call in these instances!

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