- 10 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
I know many of y’all have read my mamma-drama posts. Well, she came to the wedding and was supposed to walk me down the aisle.
She arrived drunk and stayed drunk pretty much the entire time from her arrival late wednesday night / early thursday morning and continuing on until she left town. I didn’t realize it but she actually came into the church with a glass in hand.
She blew up over the issue of her corsage. Back when I was making paper flowers at home I asked her if she wanted me to use paper or fabric for her corsage and she seemed critical of both. She didn’t really seem to care about the corsage but I thought I’d try and make one out of real flowers when we got to Iowa, planning on getting something the day before the wedding.
Well, the week in Iowa was INSANE. And mainly due to my mom, plus my own procrastination on things. However one of the reasons she came up Wednesday late (vs Friday when my photographer and SIL were flying in), causing me to make yet another trip to the St. Paul airport (six hours round trip), was because she wanted to “help” me. And she did no such thing. She spent every waking moment micromanaging everyone else, rolling her cigarettes, smoking and drinking outside on the porch, and bitching. We had guests who are the children of my long time best friend (now ex best friend, she wasn’t there, just the kids).. and they are not “kids” exactly; 15, 19, and 21, but she spent a lot of her time telling them and our 3 what to do and nagging them to pick up after themselves, etc.
Meanwhile we had a million wedding related things to wrap up that she could have helped with but didn’t. So needless to say I was very overwhelmed. I thought about the corsage again while I was at Walmart looking at the flowers available but at the same time my mom was texting me repeatedly with things I “needed” to buy for the house (first thing she did upon arrival was declare my food selection for the kids to be inadequate, second thing she did ws to declare us both selfish for claiming the only room in the rental house that was private)…
So honestly, I just forgot. I was no longer in “flower mode” and there was sooo much going on. It was certainly not intentional. And we had already ordered and brought her a gift of a “Mother of the Bride” hankie embroidered with our names and the wedding date as well.
So the day of the wedding, I am in the church basement getting my makeup on and it dawns on me that I’d forgotten about her corsage. ANd when I say it, I totally expected her to be annoyed at the most but understanding of just how much I’d been having to take care of! Well no, she gets this horrified look on her face and says “Why am I even here? I am useless obviously”… then she storms off crying and tells my SIL that she will NOT be walking me down the aisle and that if she had a car she’d leave on the spot.
So, I walked down the aisle alone and she sat in the back pew of the church the entire ceremony.
Other lovely contributions to our week: she told my sons that the tradition was to save the top tier of th ecake and freeze it UNTIL THE DIVORCE. And how we didn’t need a room to ourself anyway for our wedding night as “it’s not like you haven’t already had one”…
At one point, she pushed (emotionally) my wife to the point that my wife told her “Shut the f*** up!” and if you knew her, you’d realize how uncharacteristic that was. After seven years of my mom’s bs she has NEVER said anything like that to her but she just reached the breaking point with her.
So the irony is she didn’t want to share space with my SIL during the week because she said my SIL would start stuff and she didn’t want anything “ruining my day”. And of course, when the minister asked “Who presents this woman…” and my mom failed to respond, it was my SIL who stepped up.