(Closed) Lessons Learned Through Wedding Planning?

posted 7 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

All of my lessons have been based around money. We’re paying for it ourselves, so we either have to save/spend a buttload to get our dream wedding, or try to cut back and just have a typical wedding.

This is really hard for me because I was one of those girls who DREAMED of her wedding day. I didn’t realize how much they cost.

I grew up in a poor family, so it’s very hard for me to look at a pair of $150 shoes, and see it as a worthwhile purchase. Because to me, it isn’t. Yes, I have the money. But $150 will feed us for a week.

I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that everything I want, I won’t get. And that’s okay, but we’re trying very hard to make our wedding “us”. Something great on a moderate budget.




I’ve also learned that ebay is your friend! Gotten so many good deals on ebay!



Always, ALWAYS look on the web for a better deal. There’s no point in spending $1000 to RENT uplighting, when you can purchase it for under $300!


Post # 4
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mgol25:  We learned the same lesson!


Estimate tax and gratuity for vendors and build that into your line item.  Also, overestimate everything (how much things will cost, how much time something will take, etc etc). 

Post # 5
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have learned that if you want quality you have to spend the $$$ to get it. My $600 dress from David’s bridal is going to end up costing me over $1000 to look and fit the way I want it too. So much for a ‘bargain’. Also, that all of the little ‘inconsequential’ purchases add up FAST. I have completely blown my budget not factoring those little (but necessary, in my mind anyway) extras.

Post # 6
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I learned that if something is stressful is because I’m making it stressful and that if I don’t mention wedding, costs go down ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 7
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Now that it’s all over, I’ve learned to speak my mind. I kept so much in during this process that people had no idea the heartache I was experiencing.

I also learned a lot about the people in my life. My wedding should not have been the occassion to learn about family and supposed friends, but oh well.

Post # 8
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@jenilynevette:  EBAY! No doubt my best friend. And DIY’s. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Don’t IMPULSE BUY!! ESP the dress ๐Ÿ™ still paying for that one ๐Ÿ™ 

Post # 10
4690 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Oh lord, I have learned a lot through this process. Some lessons I could have done without

– the wedding industry is a bunch of bullshit- built on unrealistic expectations of a perfect day, inflated prices, outdated cliches, silly traditions, and encouragement of behavior you wouldn’t see EVER from the people you love. Celebrate your union however you want and don’t let the pressure get to you

– no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. most some people really don’t care at all

–  Don’t reveal wedding/ design plans to anyone. they will just judge you and give you unsolicited advide

– vendors are always, always willing to bargain.

– unfortunately, no one cares about your centerpieces. or your monogrammed napkins or custom make cake topper. or your flower pomanders. Pick something not-super-ugly and be done with it. I am spending way too much time and money on my stupid centerpieces and for what?

– plan your projects/ meetings well in advance and chunk by chunk to not get overwhelmed

– carat size does not equal how much he loves you

@bebero:  very true about it being as stressful because you make it stressful

Post # 11
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

The fact that I did not spend my entire childhood envisioning my perfect ring, perfect wedding, perfect bridal gown, perfect bridal figure, perfect age to get married, perfect bridal hair, perfect cake, perfect list of bridesmaids, perfect dresses to put them in, and so on, is not only nothing to be embarrassed or concerned about, but probably a very, very good thing for me and my Fiance. Relatedly, the fact that my family will not pressure me into having a particular type of wedding because they don’t see large weddings as desirable or as a way to broadcast family social status is something I should not take for granted. The way I was raised is probably largely why I never once dressed up for Hallowe’en as “a bride” or “princess” or “princess bride.” And I should thank them for that.

Post # 12
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

I second what lealorali: said about vendors negotiatng. I didnt realize it until I responded to a few DJ quotes that were out of our price range with “Thanks but our budget is only  $xxx so we are going a different direction.” Every one came back with a price drop! Wish I had learned that earlier in the game. I would have done that to other vendors rather than move onto the next company/ person.

Post # 13
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@BetterSherm: Oh no, sorry ๐Ÿ™

Wedding stress is temporary!

Invest in good food and wine.

Have a bad weather back up – even in July!

Check and double check everything and do not blindly trust vendors.

How hard it is to stick to a budget.

My mum is my best friend, and my friends were not all who I thought they were, and that people often let you down and mess you around unfortunately.

People love telling you what to do all the while saying it’s up to you.

It’s fun to be a princess for a day, and then be normal again!

All that really matters is my husband and marriage.

Post # 14
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

@mgol25:  Can you tell her that you ordered them so far in advance because you want to wear them for engagement photos or something? Or contact her and put a deadline on the order? Just be like, i need the shoes to be completed by May 1st. Because I placed the order so far in advance, is that okay? 

Post # 16
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@jenilynevette:  oh wow! we’ve been quoted high prices for uplighting but i feel like this really transforms the room! which buyer did you get them from? what kinds? and how many? if you don’t mind me asking..



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