(Closed) Let them eat cake?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Bear in mind this is coming from someone whose favorite food is cake, but I would actually be a little upset if I went to a wedding and there was no dessert. Doesn’t have to be cake, but cake is one of my favorite parts of weddings. Honestly, and I wish I were joking here, if I had a couple of drinks in me and discovered there would be no dessert served I’d probably cry. At least judging from my overly-emotional reactions to minor things at previous weddings. What can I say? It’s an emotional event and I love cake/dessert. A LOT.

At the very least, your more normal guests would find it odd and it would probably stand out in their memory of your wedding. Is it a necessary part of having a legally-binding wedding? Of course not, but I’m sure it will be missed by some of your guests.



Post # 17
1147 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
dcbride9487 :  What about disguising your treats as favor? Maybe macarons, choco covered strawberries, cookies and such?. Claim it to be a favor. It’s not your fault if the guests decide to open it and eat it during the reception.laughing

Post # 18
502 posts
Busy bee

I’m doing a candy bar favor with the wedding menu printed and it includes a thank you. ❤️

Post # 19
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

A friend of mine got around the serving fee by offering cupcakes at each table (rented cupcake stands from the bakery) – I don’t know how on earth the venue could justify charging a plating fee for cupcakes sitting on the table that guests simply help themselves to…but I also think it’s strange they said they’d charge ou for a dessert bar. 

Post # 20
2039 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I love dessert, and I think most people would agree that it would be strange to not have it. A chocolate on the table feels like a favour, rather than dessert, even if disguised. I think our plating fee for our cake was $3/person. They told us that cutting a wedding cake required skill, and even though they were leaving the pieces in our dessert room for guests, we still had to pay the plating fee.

Based on what you’ve told us about your wedding, I think dessert (other than favours) will be expected by guests and missed if you decide not to have it. As well, at most of the weddings I’ve been to that had edible favours on the tables, the guests ate the favours prior to dinner.

If I was you, I would eliminate the favour idea altogether and use that money for desserts. If you are having soup and salad, eliminate one of those courses and include dessert.

Post # 21
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know I’m late but just had to weigh in! I’m not sure what formal etiquette says (although etiquette for a fancy meal includes a dessert), but I love sweets and as a wedding guest, I would be very disappointed if there was no dessert option.  It absolutely does NOT have to be cake, but should be something! I fully support trying to get around the venue fees. Can you have a DIY candy bar (I had one at my wedding with no extra charges from the venue), or put cupcakes and/or cookies/baked goods out on a table? 

Post # 22
3327 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

The dessert food truck is a sweet idea! (haha!)


TBH I hate cake. Most dessert at weddings are awful. I don’t even want cake at mine, so besides the cost we are also looking at alternatives. I probably won’t cut it entirely, but have something small for those who want it. If a dessert truck is $1pp thats AMAZING and I would totally do that instead.

Post # 23
20 posts
  • Wedding: August 2017

i wouldn’t be disappointed if there was no dessert but I never eat it anyways because I don’t like sweets. My cousin did cupcakes at her wedding last month and maybe 10 people ate them, they had boxes and boxes of leftovers! Literally no one ate them except some of the kids. Guess our family just isn’t into sweets lol. The only reason I enjoy the cake is too look at how pretty it is 😃 

Post # 24
1199 posts
Bumble bee

I think the dessert food truck sounds awesome! Otherwise, could you package cupcakes and have them sitting at each spot?

Post # 25
489 posts
Helper bee

 I think you should do the dessert food truck! It seems really unique and something that no one really does so people will find it to be memorable and different. Also, it will be less money for you!


 Also, if I were a guest  I would be a little disappointed if there was no cake/dessert, but this is coming from someone who’s favorite food group is sweets😉.

Post # 26
29 posts
  • Wedding: June 2016

I love the idea of a desert truck, but that might end up being even more expensive. I looked into getting one for my wedding, and when you include the travel and rental fees it would have been over $5.00 per person. Also, if the venue won’t even let you bring your own cookies, they might not let a desert truck on their property. 


Edit: oops! I just realized this thread is a couple weeks old. A little late for me to chime in, sorry! 



Post # 27
5285 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
dcbride9487 :  You do have enough food but yeah…dessert will be expected by majority of your guests. Also, there’s just something about cutting on a cake at weddings. Personally, having a slice of cake is one of the highlights for me at a wedding.

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