(Closed) "Let's Ban Weddings and Baby Showers Too"

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 17
Member
764 posts
Busy bee

@beanowl:  Honestly I didn’t read the whole thing, but I think she has a point TO A DEGREE about some girls wanting a WEDDING not a MARRIAGE. And some people want a BABY not a child. Same with going to the pet store to get a puppy and giving it away when it grows up. It’s just immaturity.

BUT I don’t think weddings are the problem, she definitely sounds bitter, but not everyone handles a wedding in an obnoxious way. I don’t think it’s something to get all upset at weddings over, but rather about the people who want a princess fantasy because, sure enough, they act that way in other aspects of their lives. ergo weddings =/= the problem… selfish people = the problem

 

Post # 18
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Who cares really about her article, it’s all ancticdotal blather.  I would be interested to know if she registered for gifts for her reception that was held a year after her “wedding”, or if she asked for donations to help send a worthy college student off prepared for college, or registered at all. 

Post # 20
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I see what the author is saying, and she has a valid overall point, but some of her assertions are kind of offensive. One major thing I dislike is her commentary on the longevity of marriages versus the scale of the wedding. No, a lavish wedding does not mean that your marriage will be good, but neither does having a simple courthouse ceremony. Also the condescension to young brides (“and I use the word ‘girls’ deliberately”) and young mothers annoys me.

Post # 21
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Life’s milestones are worth celebrating, but they are also not worth going broke over.

I think she just went a little too far.

Have a wedding for goodness sake if you want a wedding! But don’t spend $40,000 if you cannot afford it.

You also are never obligated to travel across the country for a wedding…

Post # 22
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@beanowl:  I feel like she lives on another planet. Seriously graduation parties are a big deal around here. My FI’s graduation party was lavish with a guest list 3 times larger than our wedding.

Post # 24
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Like many others here, I agree with the writer’s point that a variety of accomplishments deserve to be celebrated.

But she paints those who care about weddings as inevitably shallow and selfish. A person can desire and plan a wedding while maintaining other priorities. Why are weddings and marriage talked about as an either/or matter. Why can’t a person care about their wedding AND their marriage?

 

I have often witnessed discussions where it is implied that couples who want a big or traditional wedding have their priorities wrong; that simple is always better. But it’s whatever the couple prefers and feels they can reasonably manage (financially, in terms of planning, with their family, etc.). 

 

 

Post # 25
Member
7846 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I can understand the desire to promote goals other than marriage and procreation among young women, but I don’t think the article presents her argument very well. My family threw almost as big a party for my college graduation as they did for my wedding, so it depends on the area and the family in question as to what they value most. But like it or not, the major milestones in life have always been birth, marriage and death, and I doubt the sour attitude of this writer will have any impact on that reality. 

Post # 26
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

She still blew money on a wedding to, Sounds like the average wedding she didn’t go that low key considering that she didn’t pay for music or cake and who knows what else,

 

What a Hypocrite, can she just not stand when other people chose to do it the way they want?

She wrote

However, I still felt the need to fulfill the fantasy, so a year after exchanging vows, we had a big reception for 125 of our closest family and friends. No band, no DJ, no cake, just a nice dinner with an open bar, and I did wear a wedding dress, because I knew it would be my one and only chance. It was fine, but if I’m being honest, there were better ways to spend $15,000.

 

 

 

Post # 28
Member
1906 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

i agree with the writer to a certain extent. the way i  read it, was her stating that people were and still are, SO focused on the actual wedding – and being a bride – and the big party and the wedding day that they forget that once this day is over, you are actually married and have to be a wife (or husband) and that marriage isnt as easy or glamourous as a wedding.

i personally dont know any teenage mums so i cant comment on that part of it, but i think for someone whose in a stable relationship, who is a good age and is ready to start a family, a baby shower is a great thing to do to celebrate the new life they are about to welcome.

i also think that graduating and going to college etc are celebrated, although not in the way a wedding is done- but thats society teaching us and years of history and tradition. good luck breaking it.

Post # 29
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Silverthorne Town Pavilion
Post # 30
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Silverthorne Town Pavilion

I am much more excited to celebrate the rest of my life with my best friend than I was to celebrate the college degree i never wanted to go get in the first place (and I graduated TWO days ago).  Everyone is entitled to an opinion and their own priorities, but you can’t look down on someone who has different priorities than yourself.  I think she presented her opinion in an ugly and judgemental manner.

Post # 31
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Someone needs to overnight this lady some big girl panties.

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