(Closed) Let’s be 100% honest for a minute.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Miss Tattoo: THANK YOU! I am glad someone was able to finally say what I have been thinking.

Post # 6
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The only thing I struggled with along those lines was alcohol.  My venue is allowing us to bring in our own wine, but not beer.  The mark-up on beer is ASTRONOMICAL.  We’re talking, $400 for a keg of BUDWEISER.  That’s more than a 300% mark-up!!  For BUDWEISER!  You’d have to pay me to drink that piss water!  I won’t pay $400 for a keg of budweiser on principle alone (and all the Bees ready to jump on me for being all judgy about budweiser can save it.  It’s BUSWEISER.)

So yeah, I was feeling bad for a little while there about just having wine (open bar wasn’t even an option, since I don’t have another 8 grand to drop on booze alone) since I know not everyone drinks wine and was afraid people would think I was being a cheap-ass, despite paying $90 a head for dinner, plus a 22% service charge and 25% gratuity (what the hell is the “service charge” for if you’re charging gratuity on top of it? F’n wedding venues…)  But I digress…

Eventually I got over it. This is our money we’re spending here and if we’re not spending enough to feed and entertain you for 4 hours, then you don’t have to come, know-what-I-mean?  At the end of the day, if someone is walking around bad mouthing us because we didn’t have an open bar at the wedding we paid for, they’re going to be the ones that end up looking like jackasses, not us.

Post # 7
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ok I think I understood your post and I agree.  I would love to not do a lot of those things or worry about what people will say and in theory I think you are right that those I’m inviting to the wedding probably wont know or care.
   However, I think there is a lot of pressure out there, mainly from the wedding industry.  You have the feeling you should do this or that or your day isn’t as special as it could be.  Brides stare at marth stewart weddings, who has an ulimated budget and feel guilty for not having perfect martha flowers. 
Personally I have done some stuff I had no interest in like Save the Dates.  I know a lot of brides love them but I think they are a waste for me and I hated doing them.  Yet I got all this pressure that I had to do them… why? because its expected.  We used to have weddings without them but now there is a pressure that you should have them.  So I think the bee is a safe place when you feel that pressure to come and get some feedback.  The wedding industry is good at making us feel guilty about not doing enough so I hope the bee is a place where real brides can talk to other real brides and get some clarity

Post # 8
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

At the end of the day I’m happy to be marrying the man of my dreams!!! =) I’ve been waiting for this day a long time! But I know in the end all of this will only be a memory of the past in which our lives together began as a family! =) I love being a budget savvy bride!!!

Post # 9
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What a refreshing post.  Thanks!

Post # 10
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

When I started wedding planning I really struggled with it. I eventually realized that we were having the wedding we felt we were suppose to have not the wedding that we wanted for the price we were happy with. Now we are having a backyard bbq with balloons for centerpieces and lawn games as opposed to a DJ. The only thing that would make me happier would be if our ceremony site allowed us to have the space past 9:30 AM… 9 am is a wee bit earlly for me!

I think brides need to do what works for them and not what they think they need to do to keep up with the Joneses. Finding yourself in debt for one day or feeling like you HAVE to do something at your wedding just because of status is a horrible way to go about this joyous occasion.

Post # 11
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

It’s funny that you used flowers and shoes in your example because my dream is to get married barefoot somewhere natural and beautiful (no flowers needed!).  I do think there is a tendency to look down on those who choose cheaper options, even if people aren’t realizing that they are doing it.  Some are so quick to write off something as “fake”, but I like to think of these things as the real version of what they are, not a fake version of something else.  A CZ isn’t a ‘fake diamond’, it’s a ‘real’ CZ.  A silk flower isn’t a ‘fake flower’, it’s a ‘real’ silk flower ๐Ÿ™‚  I’m currently catching flak because I want to buy a used wedding dress, but my dress will be no less legitimate than a new one.  My family is from NYC and all had monstrously expensive weddings, and I’ll admit I’m a bit worried about how my indie, green wedding will be recieved :/  Not that I’d even entertain the thought of changing a thing, lol.

Sometimes people have too rigid of an idea on how something should be.  I know a girl who grew up with wealth; money and status are SOOOO important to her, but that’s all she knows.  It would be nice if we could all be a little more enlightened and respectful of people who choose do plan/do/live in different or offbeat ways ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

An artist is making my real floral bouquet into a painting. I’m not averse to fake flowers, just wanted to let everyone who’s having real ones know that there are some pretty creative ways to preserve them.

Yeah, people need to relax about weddings. You don’t like it? Fine, but don’t piss on it.

Post # 13
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m all about the budget, I’m in LA too….and I know it’s especially out of control here! But, I’m proud when I get a great deal! In fact, my Fiance keeps telling me to keep it to myself….haha! I mean, why pay more when you can be creative and plan a great wedding for less?

Post # 14
Member
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The wedding industry thrives on the insecurity of brides. Most brides are relatively young (and please , let’s not segue into that old arguement), and as are most people their age are heavily influenced by peer pressure and the desire to outdo, or at least keep up to, other brides.

To be fair, some brides never grow out of that stage, whether they are encore brides or older first time brides, so I accept the arguement that it is not totally age related.

The fact that you are comfortable making and keeping to your own choices indicates that you have reached the level of maturity it takes to do so.

 

Post # 15
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, I think people are entitled to their opinion. If some one posts a “What do you think about this…” type of post, if a person thinks it is tacky, why should they hold their tongue if an opinion was asked for? Some of these projects on here ARE tacky. I understand that we all have different budgets, but there are many ways to have a nice wedding without being shabby.

I have read through some posts where I thought, “you gotta be kidding be,” but I didn’t submit a comment; however, some people are very out spoken and will actually sumbit a comment like that. This honesty should be welcomed along with the admiration.

Post # 16
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

SO and I are planning our wedding with under $7000 – not because we can’t afford anything more expensive, but because that’s what we’re comfortable with spending on one day.  We’re 22 now and have been together exclusively since we were 14.  We already live together and have one bank account.  As far as the wedding goes, as long as we’re married at the end of the day is all that matters (along with some good pics of course).  Part of my family owns a florist and they give floral arrangements as a gift from the entire side of that family.  The flowers are always silk since that’s the only way flowers will travel over a period of time.  They look gorgeous and I have never thought twice about having “real” flowers.  At the end of the day, what do you do with them anyway?  At least I have a bouquet as a keepsake.

As far as everything else goes, the goal is as inexpensive as possible.  I’m not going to look back on my wedding day and say man!!  I wish I spent more on my cake!  I’m going to remember the people and the memories!  ๐Ÿ™‚

P.S – A close girlfriend of mine’s parents paid for her $30k wedding this past summer.  DURING the reception she sought me out and said this is way too stressful!!  I’m not even having fun… run away to the beach and make a big vacation out of it.  So that’s what we’re doing ๐Ÿ™‚  Even during her gorgeous wedding she didn’t think the $$ was worth it!

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