(Closed) Lets discuss reasons FOR and AGAINST inviting children (I’m confused)

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Children crying or acting out can ruin special moments like the ceremony or first dance.

Also, children can add significant numbers to the guest list and thus significant money to your bill. 

Lastly, children tend to limit the way parents enjoy themselves.

These were my reasons but eventually I gave up.

Post # 5
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

A lot of our friends and family members have small children, and if we invite one, we need to invite all of them. We can’t afford to do that. That’s our reason.

Plus, I know our friends, and I know that they’d all rather hire a sitter and get away for a night than haul their kids to our wedding.


Post # 6
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think for some it’s a cost issue.  For others it may be noise during the ceremony.  Also certain kids of certain ages can be very annoying 🙂

Post # 7
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

For us, it was about size and cost. We’re limited in the number of people who can fit in our venue. We also have a number of family members we are obligated to invite. They all have children. Our good friends all have children. If we allowed children, we would have had a 25 or 30% higher guest list. And guess who’s paying for their meals? And you can’t just selectively invite them (well, you could) so we just made a blanket no-kids policy. That’s the way we wanted it. There have been a LOT of threads on this topic, and it always gets heated. If you want to have children at your wedding, just do it!

Post # 8
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am not having kids at my wedding because some of the kids (one aunts step kids aprox 5 kids) are HORRIBLE dont behave have no manners and are extremely disreaspectful. That is the main reason there are a few other reasons also.

Post # 9
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

our reason for not inviting children is because our venue only holds 128 people. i don’t want to cut 15 adult guests who matter to me out of the guest list so that my cousins can bring their 7-10 year olds who will likely be pretty bored. it’s an expensive wedding, and a small venue. if we had a bigger venue, sure, bring the kids but our venue has a space maximum and someone had to be cut from the list.

also, i HATED weddings as a kid =p

Post # 10
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have no problem with kids, but even I was tempted to not invite them originally. Mainly because the venue where I’m having the reception at charges EVERYONE regardless of age, so even the baby under 12 months will be charged not only for food, but also for alcohol.

Post # 11
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Against- we are having a black tie evening event at a downtown location and would like it to be an adult party. I am one of those people that doesn’t think it’s cute when kids run around a party and scream and cry. I also do not have children, our siblings do not have children and none of our friends do. We are not having a flower girl or a ring bearer.

Sorry but I’m not paying $200 a head for a 5 year old.

I also think having kids changes the whole tone of a party and that just isn’t what we want.

I have received little to none resistance about this and most have said they are looking forward to an adult night.

Post # 12
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Here are some of the reasons we decided AGAINST children at our reception:

  1. Give the parents a night off to have a little fun for themselves! Often, when they have their kids in tow, they have to leave early to keep their kids on their bedtime schedule. I wanted them to be able to have a carefree night if they wanted to attend.
  2. We didn’t want our reception to turn into romper room. I love kids, but I didn’t want my guests tripping over them if they had parents who let them run around freely.
  3. I have to say the only children who attended the reception were our flower girls and ring bearers. They were my cousin’s kids, and their entire family was there anyway, so they were pretty closely watched.

I didn’t really have many complaints. My family was pretty understanding about everything. I even had a cousin of mine thank me for not including kids. We were married on their 5 year wedding anniversary, and they used it as an excuse to leave their kids at home and celebrate themselves. They ended up making a weekend out of it and left the kids with my cousin’s wife’s parents.

It definitely worked out well for us. I’m not saying what we did is for everyone, but it suited us and our situation!

Post # 14
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We lucked out that our venue isn’t charging us for kids under 5, which my niece and nephew are, as well as my MOH’s new baby. So in that sense we said why not. Had they charged, it may be a different story.

Post # 15
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

One of my biggest reasons FOR inviting children is that my wedding is a travelling wedding for 80% of my guests (traveling either a few hours, or a plane ride). I felt that it wasn’t fair to not include children as the parents would need to travel some distance to attend, and given the cost to travel, adding a baby-sitter may break the bank for some. My per person cost for food alone is $160, but my caterer is creating childrens meals for $24 per child. We also stated on the invitation that children under 14 would be provided a “special mea” – we thought about providing a baby-sitter at the hotel for the children, but as there are currently 30 children invited, the liability of doing such a gesture is too great, and we didn’t want to take the risk. We would rather invite the children to insure that the parents can take part in our special day.

Post # 16
1220 posts
Bumble bee

mostly because of the cost. We are having about 8 kids from 1 month-5 years and three teenagers. That is it…

3 of the little ones is my sister in law
3 is from the best man and one is my god daughter.

the teenagers are my little sister who is a birdemaid one of her friends and my FI’s Cousin but they are well behaved.

The kids i just hope they act decent. but ou venue is allowing us not to count kids under 5 since we are buying pizza for them and they will have a seperate kids table.


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