This might very well be the most detailed explanation i have ever given! lol
my reasons for not wanting children (this includes anyone under the age of 18) as well as underage adults (18-20):
for the younger kids:
-not wanting them to disturb the ceremony (im paying top dollar for a cinematographer to capture the ceremony… dont need babies or toddlers throwing fits in the middle of the audio)
-not wanting kids to monopolize the reception (ALL receptions i have been to with younger kids, they take over the dance floor and change the mood of the reception. i am not going for a chuck-e-cheese “aww thats cute” atmosphere – i want a fun ADULT night out more like a romantic dinner followed by party/lounge/club feel)
-young kids are cute and will upstage me!!! lol (bottom line i know it sounds vain but i want the attention on me, not some really cute 4 year old in a ruffly dress…)
-parents dont watch their children (all except one reception i have been to, others have had to watch folks kids because the parents partake in the open bar and leave the kids to run willy nilly – often time that person is me, and if i have to do that at MY wedding, someone is gonna hear about it.)
for the older children and underage adults (teens/tweens and up):
-we are having an open bar. every event i have been to has the younger kids sipping drinks from the tables or getting wasted themselves. I work in law enforcement as does half of my guest list. at one of our past family weddings, one teenager even got a DUI – UNDERAGE dui. i can NOT contribute to the delinquency of minors.
my one concession are the nursing babies. They can be in attendance at the reception but for the same reason the toddlers and infants cannot be in the ceremony they cannot either – i cannot have a baby crying during the ceremony. oftentimes i go to ceremonies and the baby starts crying. it takes away from the moment. and instead of the parent wisking the child out of the door to calm them out of earshot, they proceed to either try and soothe them there, prolonging the noise, or ignore the crying altogether. and that to me is unacceptable. again, expensive cinematographer means i dont want crappy audio for my lifetime memories video.
specifically for MY wedding as well, there is a child of someone in the wedding party who a good kid (shes a preschooler) and acts her age which is just fine. its the parent’s reaction to her (lack of discipline, not knowing what to do, etc) that bothers me. I would rather they get a baby sitter for her so they can enjoy themselves and not throw a fit if the child acts like a child.
oh and edited to add – plus our venue is very space restrictive. so in order to invite folks we WANT there, no kids or young adults.