(Closed) Let's Get Deep (NWR)

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
2511 posts
Sugar bee

TiaMP:  I’m exactly where I wanted and expected to be financially and job wise at 25. I am not physically where I want to be or had hoped to be, I’d like to be both thinner and stronger.

Spiritually I’m not where I had hoped to be. I’m agnostic right now, leaning way more towards atheist but I find myself hesitant fully defining myself that way since I grew up Christian, all of my family still is, so there’s this feeling of guilt/doing something wrong. IDK how to describe it.

I think as far as jobs, getting a house, getting married, we’re moving right along where I would want us to. 🙂

Post # 3
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

TiaMP:  I’m not where I thought I’d be career-wise…went through college thinking I’d do marine mammal research someday, and I’m now in my last year of a School Counseling graduate program.  My husband is a software guy, so he makes waaaaay more than me and always will, but I feel that much more heavily right now since I’m not actively contributing to our household income; the opposite actually since I’m accruing student loan debt.  I know that it’s only temporary though, and this time next year will be a different story.

I’m one of the first in my friend group to get married (I’m 27), so often that feels odd.  I want kids, but at the same time I feel a big desire to explore and live freely. 

Physically, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in.  I’m never been a super skinny-minny, but for the first time I actually feel strong.  I have arm muscles.  I see myself improving when I lift, and I feel that in other ways too.  Healthwise I’m dealing with some stuff, but hopefully I’ve found a combination of supplements that will help.  I also find that I’m more anxious about life (big and little things) than I’ve ever been, and I do think that has negatively impacted the other aspects in my life.

Spiritually, I’m right where I’ve always been.  Agnostic, and happy about it. 

Overall, I’m very pleased with where I’ve ended up at this point in my life. I feel so grateful to lead this life, surrounded by my wonderful husband, family, and friends.  Is each day perfect and rainbows?  No, certainly not.  But I am so lucky, and I try and remind myself of that as often as possible.

Post # 4
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m pretty surprised I’m in the situation I’m in when I was younger I wouldn’t have expected to be getting married as soon as I am, I always thought it would be difficult for me to find someone but it turned out to be very easy and I’m very happy.

jobwise, I’ve never been super ambitious so I didn’t consider jobs so much when I was younger but I love my job that I have and would be happy to move up in that line of work. my job isn’t very well paid though. Fiance has a job that pays twice as much as mine does and he always say it’s not fair considering I do double the amount of work he does. he always says it’s our money though. 

spiritually in terms of relgion anyway, I don’t have too much to say on the matter considering I’m atheist and from an atheist family and Fiance is (very) atheist so I never had so much of ‘spiritual’ side if I’m honest. I’m happy like that though.

physically, I think I do have insecurities like everyone does, perhaps wish my stomach was a bit flatter. healthwise, I wish I didn’t have epilespy as I often get ‘dream’ like states, it’s manageable and I’m quite lucky in that way. my mum took ages to have me so it makes me sad that I’m not her ‘perfect’ child, she always say that I’m her prefect child though but I guess I think she deserves the best and I have epilespy so I’m not the best.

this is sounding really depressing, it’s not something I think about a lot if I’m honest but when I’m over thinking makes me sad. I have a great life with or without my condition and a lot of people have a lot worse. it hasn’t stopped me careerwise, relationshipwise. generally, my life is pretty great and I’m happy and achieved a lot in 23 years.

Post # 5
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, when I was younger, I didn’t know what I wanted from life.  I never planned what I wanted to go to post-secondary school for, and took general studies and dabbled in things along the way. 

I’m very lucky to be in the position I’m in financially, all due to the fact that my husband is very hard working and money savvy.  We own income property with the intention of purchasing several more, as we love the investment it brings.

I’m in the process of completing my real estate licence which I honestly didn’t think about several years ago, but ever since we got into investing in properties, I have become very passionate about it.  The job I’m working at in the meantime is very soul draining, and I can’t wait to get out of it.

Physically, I’m definitely not where I want to be.  I’m 50 lbs more than I was in high school (I was a stick, and was called anorexic, even though I ate everything in sight and definitely did not watch what I ate.) I’m slowly working on getting down to a more healthy weight.

I am also TTC and have been for over 3 years, so emotionally, not in a great place in that sense.  I absolutely thought I would have had at least one or two children by now (I’m 28.)

Spiritually, I’m finding myself.  My family has never been overly religous, and I have found myself leaning towards being a spiritual person, one that doesn’t believe in any one religon, but believes in being a good person, karma and things like that and my husband feels the same. 

And overall, I’m happy.  My Darling Husband is wonderful, I have a great family, a great network of people around me and many opportunities to enjoy life.

Post # 6
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016


TiaMP:  Financially I’m good in sense but I still need to finish my schooling. That’s something I’m still trying to work on. It makes it hard when I don’t qualify for grants and I’m trying to pay everything out of pocket so it makes hard to finish.

Physically, Absolutely not! I’m at my heaviest. I was 140 in high school and didn’t watch how I ate and it caught up to me.  SO tells me all the times he doesn’t care about whether I’m heavier than before but I care. I don’t have a specific number of weight i want to lose but just want to feel and look good.

Spiritually, I would say yes. I did have a falling out because I was confused about so many things but have come with it all.

I would love to be engaged sometime soon. I’m patiently being impatient if that makes sense. I’m 27 and I’m ready to be married and start my family and it’s just taking longer than expected. 

Post # 7
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

TiaMP:  “At this point in your life, are you wear you thought you would be? Spiritually? Physically? Financially? Job wise? Have you surpassed your own expectations for where you thought you would be at this time?”

I’ll just go down the list here.

Spiritually- Never really had any goals here. I wasn’t raised with religion or spirituality but began going to a Youth Group in high school. I liked it but in the end my beliefs just didn’t match up. I used to be quite angry about religion after I left the youth group because I lost my best friend by making the choice to leave. As I’ve become older I don’t concern myself with religion but can appreciate people who stand up for what they believe in.

Physically- I’m 28 and am in better shape than I have ever been. My Darling Husband and I started CrossFit almost two years ago and we love it!

Financially- I think I’ve always hoped I’d be making a lot of money by this age, but I know you have to put in the work. I never expected the money. Darling Husband has a great job with lots of growth potential. He makes twice what I do so I feel bad about that sometimes, in that I can’t contribute as much, but that’s only pressure I put on myself. We’re working hard to save for a house and pay off debts from school.

Job Wise- I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I work for a great company but the work itself is not stimulating.

I don’t know that I’ve surpassed my own expectations about where I would be by now because I’m not sure what I expected but I am happy.

Post # 8
8465 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

I definitely knew I would be in graduate school at this point in my life, so check there. Although my peers that graduated undergrad with me are out-earning me 3-5 fold, I think in the end it will be worth it, because I’ll be able to persue my dreams and work in R&D. I love my field, and that hasn’t changed about me. I knew from a very young age I wanted to work in a very small niche of biology/genetics/engineering/medicine. I’m very relieved I had that part of my life “figured out” early on so I didn’t waste time jumping from major to major in college.

I’m beyond where I thought I would be as far as being married, owning a home, having my dream pets (my equivalent of being a mom). But, I’ll admit that I am behind on where I would like to be physically so I am trying to improve there. I’m giving clean eating a go for the first time since college (fast food and meal plan, ugh) so hopefully with some diet and exercise I can start seeing and feeling a difference. Mainly, I want to feel healthy. I have high blood pressure and that is NOT where I want to be right now.

Spiritually, I’m where I was nearly 20 years ago (even though I now know loads more than I did back then…) Which is fine with me – I’m an atheist and I don’t see it changing…ever. Although, I will say that I have been a lot more tolerant of others since I’ve been going to a Catholic univeristy for my graduate studies – it’s taught me that even though people are different that doesn’t mean they’re bad. I used to be so bitter towards religion and now I’m more like “meh.” I don’t really know when or how it happened, but it feels relieving(?); I can’t describe it in one word.

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Post # 9
1758 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m thankful that I never had super-firm expectations of where I would be, which is surprising considering I’m very type-A and I plan everything.  

I never thought I would get married, never imagined or planned out my wedding, until I started dating my boyfriend.  I did think we’d be engaged by now (been together for 3 years, talking about marriage and living together almost that entire time), so that’s a little frustrating.  But I have to keep in mind that just a few years ago I had no timetable in my head at all.  I’m lucky enough that I found someone I want to be with, so I need to stop spending my energy “waiting.”  I also said I’d never live with someone before marriage, but turns out I really love the companionship I get living with my boyfriend.  My day to day happiness is more important to me than something I decided years ago, or something that everyone says is a bad idea.

Career-wise, I am very satisfied with where I am.  It’s not what I thought I’d be doing, but I love it.  I get to do what I’m good at, and I’m also challenged, every single day at work.  I thought I’d be in some high-powered, high-paying job where I travel a lot and wear suits every day.  It turns out that traveling for work is actually exhausting and I like to be home with my boyfriend and my cat, and wearing suits on a daily basis really sucks.  My salary and job title is pretty low for my education and experience, but I’ve come to terms with living a comfortable and frugal life instead of a glamorous, expensive one.  I didn’t expect that I’d get a master’s degree, so I’m happy I’ve achieved that.  

Physically, I’m pretty satisfied.  I could lose a few pounds, but I’m confident that I will if I keep up the long-term exercise and healthy diet I’ve been doing.

Spiritually, I’ve always considered myself atheist, but I’ve recently been more open.  I’ve always beleived in spirituality (I don’t believe in a god, but I do believe in energy, and that people have souls that exist after death), so I’m more recently accepting of the fact that I could be considered spiritual.  I’ve been thinking more about meditation, the power of thoughts, etc.  So, I’m pretty satisfied in this area, even though I still feel like I have a much longer “spiritual journey” ahead of me.

Financially, I’m not where I thought I’d be.  I’ve always been someone who paid off all my credit cards each month, and somewhere a couple years ago I stopped being able to do that, and now I carry a balance.  Taking a hard look at my student loans, expenses, etc., has been difficult, but I now feel much more in control and I have a budget and I stick to it.  I’m trying to pay off all my debt so that I can start the home-buying process and it’s just daunting that I have so much work left to do in that area.  However, it’s not like there’s a strict schedule besides my own impatience.  I’m actually thankful I’ve had some years of financial struggle because I feel it will help me manage my money long-term.

Overall, I’m pretty satisfied.  I’m not exactly where I thought, but I’m okay with it.  The older I get, the more okay I am with uncertainty.  I just have to keep that in mind and not let the little things get me down.

Post # 10
8005 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Professionally, I am right where I want to be. Of course, the whole marriage thing only recently was on my radar, and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have such a happy life. I know a lot of people in my field had career changes before entering my field. 24 is still way young in terms of career. If you’re not satisfied with your current job, you could definitely go back to school or find a different work field. 

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