Let's hear your current frustrations/vents with wedding planning

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Oh you need to invite Pauline, she’s *family* GO AWAY, we need to invite no one.

mainly my vent is my mother and her cliche nonsense, “oh do you really need that” well technically we need nothing, just a registry office, some person to marry us and two witnesses everything else is fluff. Stop annoying me or I’ll stab you 

Post # 3
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

We can’t find centerpieces we like. Thankfully we still have over a year. But my fiancé and I cannot agree on what to get. I wanted flowers, but our venue is outdoors and he thinks there’s enough flowers. We thought lanterns, but we don’t know how big they’d have to be for a 60 inch table. It’s an ongoing battle. 

Post # 4
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I’m super over everyone, including random people, INSISTING that something is NECESSARY to have at my wedding.  “Oh well you HAVE to do the bouquet toss.”  No, I certainly do not, you pushy stranger.  I would bet good money on the fact that no one will even notice at all that some stuff is not there.

I’m also tired of scouring “ultimate checklists” completely convinced that I’ve forgotten something, lol.  I can’t find anything I’ve missed…but I’m positive there’s something right in front of my face that hasn’t occurred to me (and it’s going to be like a $3000 expense, of course).

Post # 5
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sick of having to take time off from work to go to various wedding related meetings and appointments.  I understand that any good vendor is likely booked on Friday/Saturday for weddings, but I keep encountering vendors who are surprised that I’m not available at the drop of a hat during the work day for an in-person meeting or conference call.  It’s like a lot of them are stuck in the 1950s and think I quit my job when I got engaged or something.

I’m also really frustrated with our wedding coordinator.  We hoped that hiring one would result in less stress for us, but I think it’s increased the stress. Our coordinator also seems to be stuck in a much more rigid model of what a wedding should look like, and I’m really tired of telling her..repeatedly… “no, we’re not doing that.”  (At the moment, she seems very distressed we’re not doing some sort of ‘unity ceremony’ at the wedding. I kind of snarled at her and told her that in my opinion, a wedding IS a unity ceremony and you don’t need sand/wine/rope/etc to make the marriage valid.)

Post # 7
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Constant judgement from future Mother-In-Law like nothing I do or pick for the wedding is good enough for her. It’s frustrating, but since it’s mine and FH’s day (and we are paying for it), I’m not letting her negativity stress me out (too much) or changing what we want. I just don’t get why she can’t just be happy for us like my mother is. Oh well.

Post # 8
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee

carlifaye :  I completely get that and it’s part of the reason I am shying away from our #1 venue unless it has some rain protection.  It’s a boat and we are in the midwest, so it’s very risky. 

 

Post # 9
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

Yes please! Thank you! 

carlifaye :  

Post # 10
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

carlifaye :  In laws offering zero in terms of physical or monetary help but expecting us to invite people they want 🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 11
Member
478 posts
Helper bee

I’m having Future Mother-In-Law issues ALREADY. We are planning a small wedding of 30 people because it’s VERY important to me that we only have people who really know/care about us attend what is a very private and intimate expression of our love.

We planned to take half our honeymoon to visit our home state to see great grandparents and grandparents who are too ill to travel.

Future Mother-In-Law volunteered (she says we asked her, but I don’t remeber that, though I grant her that it is possible) to have a party/reception to make it easier on us to see everyone. 

When we checked in a few days ago, the guest list has somehow become 100-150 people and my anxiety is through the roof, as all of these people are my FI’s extended-extended family, and his step-father’s family (many of whom my Fiance does not like/does not know/is not close with, as he does not care for his step-father either). 

I do NOT want to meet, talk with, and take pictures with 150 people I don’t know. I am almost in tears thinking about it. I really wanted to have a courthouse wedding with just our immediate family, but my Fiance wanted a ceremony with at least his grandparents and I compromised with him.

When we contacted my Future Mother-In-Law to see if we could scale the guest list back to 50-60 people, she threw a fit, asked us if she should just cancel everything, said that my FI’s step-father no longer wanted to come to our wedding, and that she was feeling conflicted about attending herself.

So yeah. That’s how my planning it going 😛 Just about to say fuck it and elope.

Post # 14
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

My current wedding frustration is my weight. I thought I’d have lost more weight by now, but I still have 4 months. Currently 165, hoping to get down to 140 for August. 

I finally found a freaking dress so that’s checked off the list.

Post # 15
Member
1588 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

I’m drafting an email to my florist because she is not understanding why I could possibly want to see a sample of the centerpiece arrangement. Maybe because I don’t want to be surprised the day of? Like? I’m not asking her to do it for free, but I’d like to see what she comes up with before walking into the venue. But she’s taking it as an insult to her work.

But my main issue is my Mother-In-Law. She had been pestering me for months about what color I wanted her to wear – I don’t care! But she just would not accept that for an answer so I eventually told her “Just not blue.” Aaaaand she went and bought a blue dress. Again, I don’t really care what color her dress is but I have a sneaking suspicion she did it on purpose and my fiance is 100% convinced she did. But okay, cool whatever. Not really my problem.

Yesterday she was trying to get me to change the number of tables/how many people at tables. She just kept saying she “was having trouble making the tables of 8 work.” Work with what?? You are not in charge of the seating chart so I don’t know what you’re trying to make work?

She’s also started to make comments about my eating habits and my weight. I do IF most days, so I eat all my meals in a 6 hour period. On top of that I started running 4-5x a week now that the weather is warmer, so my appetite has definitely increased. She lost her shit at me the other day because my fiance and I went out for a late lunch at 3, and then we also got pizza around 8. She actually said to me “You’re eating again? You already ate earlier! What, are you a hobbit now? You don’t need a second dinner, you have a dress to fit in.” I just stared at her and shoved a piece of pizza in my mouth because if I didn’t put something in it something nasty was gonna come out lol.

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