Let's hear your current frustrations/vents with wedding planning

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 17
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

carlifaye :  she is…something, that’s for sure. She used to be so sweet and nice to me, but ever since I started putting my foot down with her she’s gotten extremely catty. She still has her nice and thoughtful moments, but she’s bitter about being told no and she makes it known.

Post # 18
3712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I’m just so over making decisions. I really just want someone else to crawl into my brain, figure out what I want and make the decisions for me. I have to choose an officiant, but I don’t want to. I have to choose a date for e-pics, but I don’t want to. I have to make a final decision about my dress, but I don’t want to. At least I finally settled on black for bridesmaid dresses & got the details hammered out with 2 of my main vendors (florist & linens). I’m so tired of planning this wedding that feels 100 years away but I don’t really know why, I haven’t actually spent much time on it! Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond excited to be married to my wonderful Fiance, and our wedding day is going to be an absolute blast. I’m just exhausted by it all right now. I’m literally asking a coworker for opinions & going with that most of the time lol. 

Post # 19
2404 posts
Buzzing bee

chelbell23 :  Are we using the same florist?  LOL.  I had to reach out to mine earlier asking to see either a mock up of the centerpieces or a sketch with a brief written description (ie, types of flowers, colors).  The remaining floral balance is due soon and I really do not want to pay it until I’ve confirmed we are on the same page.  

We already had a miscommunication about the vases that are being used… I wanted metallic, art nouveau looking vases. Based on our in-person meeting, I was expecting her to research options and show me a few vase options to choose from. However, she thought I had given her carte blanche to pick and purchase them.  It turns out, I don’t like the vases she custom ordered.. 20 of them. And they’re art deco, so they don’t match my vision.  She’s claiming they’re not returnable, but I am refusing to use them as they’re the wrong style/color.  So you’d think she’d want to make sure we’re in agreement about the other creative details!  So tempted to switch florists (if I can even find one available this late in the game) and just eat the cost of my deposit.  

I hate the fact that I sometimes have to behave dangerously close to a bridezilla in order to simply get the services I’ve contracted for and am paying for.  

Post # 20
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

misslucy : Although my wedding is already over, I so agree with you. I could not understand things like this neither. I always attached photos to everything I wanted, so they couldn’t interpret my words wrong, or at least, that was, what I thought. But nooo. Even the things I’ve said twice and send photos, they were not able to project. But in the end I was so over all of it, that I was just like, there just need to be flowers, don’t mind if it’s what I’ve ordered or not. And with so many other things as well.

But I know that it is soooo frustrating that if they even make you chose from different options and you spend a lot of time researching and in the end they do what they want, you could as well just have said: you know what, do whatever you want and have saved the troubles.

Post # 21
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Charliejeorge :  haha in the end I did the same. I wasn’t able to think anymore and didn’t know what I actually liked and second guessed every decision. So I either asked my fiancee and just went with it or I sent some pictures to friends and asked them haha.

Post # 22
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

carlifaye :  Omgggggg wedding planning vent

I pretty much checked out of caring about any of it once we booked our honeymoon. Business class to Vanuatu, 5 star private pool resort. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I just want to be married and done with it

Doesn’t help that we’ve got all the big things planned, like florist, DJ, venue, celebrant, Photographer/videographer/invitations. Now it’s the annoying little things like limos, bridesmaids dresses etc. etc.

I just don’t care anymore, lol. I just want to be married. This whole wedding thing is just a painful, expensive, over done formality that I am caring less and less for every day

Bring on the honeymoon!!! And the life post-wedding where we don’t have to scrimp and save for every goddamn dollar. Actually have some FREEDOM!

Post # 23
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I can relate with those of you who don’t want to make any more decisions! I’m behind according to every vendor I speak about the specifics of the wedding. Although I guess I’ve gone into most meetings thinking I was prepared bu then finding out I’m not. I’ve been procrasinating finding flowers and decor but I really need to get it done. When I tell my mom I have so much to do she’ll say she can help and then when I ask her to do something she makes excuses as to why she can’t. It super annoying because she’s retired and keep saying all she has to do is wedding related stuff. I don’t understand it.

Post # 24
9756 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I’m going to be a fat bride. My wedding is in 18 days and I’m 5’3″, over 200lbs.

Post # 25
46 posts
  • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

I hate making decisions, especially under pressure. But it looks like everyone is pressing me: my fiance, wedding planner, my mother and time. It’s 3,5 months left and we have a wedding in another country, so time is really essential.

Fearing i won’t be ready i bought a dress and have second thought about it after more browsing and seeing all the gorgeous bees here.

I can’t decide on the place, but my fiance doesn’t want to get involved since he didn’t see any of it (i went to choose alone). And most of the guests will be from his side!

And since my fiance is paying 100% of wedding costs i feel even more responsible for any decision i take and have a constant fear of spoiling the day after spending that much money T_T

Post # 26
5394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I just had my hair and makeup trial and it was really disappointing; which is more frustrating as I live abroad from my wedding location so I can’t have another trail or find someone else. I am paying for my girls to have theirs done too and if I had gone DIY for myself I wouldn’t have offered it it to them and would have saved a bunch of money. I’m going to email her today and ask her to cancel doing my hair on the day though, I feel so awkward doing these things but I don’t want to pay her when I can do it better myself!

Post # 27
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: London

Mines all self inflicted but my complete inability to make a decision and be confident with it is just driving me insane. 
I’ve bought two dresses, sold the first one, now wonder if i liked that first one more? I’ve posted in like 3 forums, and god knows how many Facebook groups asking for peoples opinions, but i JUST CANT accept i have a dress now and to stop thinking about it. 

Im so hung up on this perfectionism and worrying about regretting decisions later that im just making my own life impossible. 

I hate to think what it will be like when we start actually involving people in our plans and send invites out, that’ll open the floodgates to alllll the opinions. 

Post # 29
14 posts
  • Wedding: September 2020 - City, State

Mine is budget. FH and I are both pretty nontraditional people with pretty low expectations for the day, we’re having a park wedding with wood fired pizza and lawn games. But how much everything costs even to put on a low key wedding for 75 people and the things we have to sacrifice for it just sucks. His family has timeshares in Aruba and we usually go every year, but we’re skipping this year to bank the money we would’ve spent on plane tickets and pina cooladas. His friend’s response was “you’re skipping out on a week long vacation in exchange for ONE day??” Obviously our wedding is more than just “one day” but it still does make me question if it’s crazy to spend this much money on a party. 

Post # 30
12 posts
  • Wedding: September 2020

I’ve lurked for awhile but made an account for this post lol.
I started my grad program the month after we got engaged. We knew it would make money tight, so we picked a date 6 months after I should be graduated and settling into a new, higher paying (and high demand) job. Fastforward to me scheduling my last two semesters only to learn that they are no longer offering my classes for my final semester. I have no choice but to take two semesters worth at once and graduate a semester early. Frustrating, but that leaves more time to settle into a job and save more for the wedding.
Our families knew this plan from the beginning. Fiance and I had developed a budget based off of how much we could save even if I couldn’t find a new job and only made my previous salary. We only asked that our families help with deposits so we could book our vendors before 6 months out. Everyone was happy with this plan.
We’re now booking our last vendor but every single step has been a fight. We do the research. We meet with the vendors. We decide what we want and what fits in our budget. Then when we approach our families we get shocked reactions. They drag their feet for weeks because they can’t believe what we want to pay for these and argue with us that there has to be options that are cheaper. The amount of time we put into our budget and researching vendors means absolutely nothing. They have no financial problem with the deposit amounts but they don’t want US putting as much money as we want to into this wedding. Even though it’s our money and we really only planned for about half the budget we could have actually afforded, it’s still too much in their opinions. It’s really keeping me from enjoying the planning process. I’ve missed out on my dream vendors because I couldn’t convince my family to lend me the deposit because of their concern with the final cost. I’m sure everything will be beautiful. We’ll still enjoy our day. But we’re really disheartened by our family’s behavior. It makes me wish I would have deferred school for a year so we could have had the wedding earlier and not taken a dime from anyone else! Or bit the bullet and got a small personal loan for deposit purposes. Too late now!

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