(Closed) Let's share our fears/concerns about being pregnant

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 47
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

  • Miscarriage
  • Something majorly wrong with baby
  • Darling Husband and I growing apart
  • Regretting it later… Like thinking, “I wish we would’ve waited”
  • Gaining weight
  • Being uncomfortable for 9 months
  • The actual labor! 

Post # 48
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m 35 too and now ttc!

My fears:

Having another miscarriage

That I wont be able to enjoy being pregnant bc I’ll be so scared of something going wrong

The word “episiotomy” makes me want to throw up

That I won’t have enough energy for kids

That I don’t really know how to cook – I can make enough to feed hubby and me but I don’t really know how to cook or bake.

I’m not really a fan of teenagers. Not looking forward to that part.

Having a child with special needs – I work in the field and I know how hard and expensive it is. Sorry to be cruel, but I’ve put my time in, I don’t want to be ‘chosen’ for that parenting role

That I won’t be able to have more than one kid – I used to want 5….now I’ll be so happy if we can have 1

The exhaustion of being creative and ‘on’ all the time

I worry so much about children being bullied, and peer pressure, and how we would protect our kids and keep them safe.

My husband is worried about a teenage daughter having sex and becoming either a)pregnant. or b) a slut. (lol) – that’s his biggest fear.

Post # 49
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not being able to have wine for an extended period of time.

That I’ll be exhausted.

That I’m just too frigging old and cranky (with no wine to soften me up).

 

 

Post # 50
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re not trying yet, and this obviously isn’t a fear about being pregnant — but this site (damn you, ‘Bee!) has made me terrified that when we do start trying, we’ll have a lot of trouble conceiving.  I have no biological reasons to think that, but when you’re constantly reading stories of the issues so many others are having, it starts to mess with your head!

Post # 51
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well- the good news is…

We seem to all have the same worries, hopes, and fears! And, we are all someone’s children, so ladies, as long as we are here for each other, I think we will be OK- let’s look to our mothers, grandmothers, and new moms around us- women go through this every day, all around the world.

Hugs, love, and best wishes for all the bees!

Post # 52
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

So many:

The baby will have a health problem

miscarriage

I will regret having a baby and be miserable for 18 years

weight gain

negatively impacting relationship with Darling Husband

losing my identity/becoming boring

not finding good childcare and having to compromise my career (I have worked SO HARD for it)

breastfeeding

Post # 53
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Sunshine09:  I’m the same. I’ve worked with children with special needs for years, and my brother has cp and I spent a couple of years as his caregiver. I was talking with a friend about this just now. If I have a special needs child, I love them. But I hope I don’t.

My fears:

* not being able to give birth in the first place, due to a medical condition.

* miscarriage (my risk is higher)

*Finances. Due to medical reasons, we want to start trying by the time I’m 30. If things go as planned, Fiance will be in grad school. I’m relocating to marry Fiance, and will have to start my career again. The teacher job market is really bad at the moment, so I need to decide whether to try and enter it as a foreigner, try and find a related job (likely to pay less) or work for myself (riskier, but may be best option). 

*insurance. We will be living in the US when we have a baby. I need to decide whether to go on the really expensive insurance I can get through Fiance, or very affordable immigrants insurance, which only partially covers having a baby (or fly home where there is excellent free maternity care – I am still a taxpayer at the moment, so have no issues doing that, but that is a worst case scenario because I don’t want to have my baby away from Fiance.)

* having a highly medicalised birth. I’d prefer not to, but obviously be opesaves it if needed.

* not being able to breast feed. My mother was a midwife, and she breast fed my sister (20 years younger than me) until she was 2 1/2. I am very pro breast feeding and would love to do the same. I would be really upset if I couldn’t breast feed.

Post # 54
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Snow00774:  9 months is a long time to go without wine. I sure do miss it and I’ve still got a ways to go.

I’m mostly worried about the lack of sleep and being able to take care of a LO. I don’t want to be a cranky momma.

Also giving birth kind of freaks me out, but the baby has to come out somehow I guess. I told my mom the other day I was just going to cross my legs and keep it in there! lol

Post # 55
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I was afraid of labor my first time. I was afraid the baby wouldn’t be healthy. I worried I’d be a bad mom.

Ok, a part of me (the shallow part you’re not supposed to acknowledge) worried I’d have a really ugly E.T. looking baby. There, I said it! But I didn’t. And even if I did I would have been too blinded by mother’s love to think my babies were anything but gorgeous and perfect!

Post # 56
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am relieved to find this thread and will give the disclaimer that I am a fairly self-aborbed person.  Stats:  37/Married/7 Months Pregnant.

 

My biggest fears:

  • Backsliding in my career.  It was a challenge to become an exec.  I’ve made several sacrifices (relocated to many states for job opportunities) and went to a top-ranked MBA program (will be paying for that for an eternity!).  I don’t want to be passed over for key assignments/international roles just because I happen to be a woman that just had a kid.
  • Losing my indentity/flexibility.  I traveled extensively and explored at least two new countries per year.  My hobbies aren’t exactly kid friendly (scuba diving/marathon running/skiing).  Kids seems like a huge time/energy/money drain.
  • Physical changes to recover from.  What if I don’t become a M.I.L.F. afterwards?  I will need another personal trainer and dietician to get back to top shape.
  • Maternal instinct may not be biological.  I never wanted children and it wasn’t in my big plan.  I am hoping that the minute this kid arrives on the scene …I will be bombarded with some kind of maternal drive.
  • Discomfort/embarassment/pain of giving birth.  It doesn’t look pretty and I have explored lots of different options.  Although natural is a better choice to bounce back and get back to the office — I don’t want a huge cave of a vagina.  Cesarian comes with complications but a tummy tuck might be a good two-fer.
  • I am concerned that since I am not the “mommy type” — I won’t find kindred spirits with young children to befriend.  All of my friends are male or partying/career women.

Obviously, my husband was the one that *really* wanted kids and I am throwing him a bone.

We did amnio and are already in the clear for chromosomal abnormalities.  So I am not worried about those issues.  

Time will tell.

Post # 57
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Mrs.RDV:  Not drinking is awful.  7 months down and 3 to go.  It’s a short sacrifice but I intend to go on a bender once my kid arrives.

Post # 58
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Thank you for this thread! It covers all my fears which are basically “all of the above.” Oh jeez… and yet, we do it anyway for the end result! Men lucked out in this department  🙂

Post # 59
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@tiaramiss:  Your post just made me laugh! I keep saying whenever I go in to deliver (currently in the TTC phase) that I’m walking in with a bottle of wine 😉 9 months is a long time without! Note to self: have some tonight while still possible.

Post # 60
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

– Being pregnant in general.. I’m scared of being sick, the aches, pains and discomfort surrounding pregnancy. When I hear about sinus issues, shortness of breath, hard to sleep, etc. it makes me feel so nervous! Also, 9 months of no wine does not sound like fun!

– I’m not so scared of giving birth as I am of afterwards… it sounds horrible!

– I’m scared of how it will change my life with my SO

– I’m scared of becoming of those moms that I can’t stand (I won’t go into this)

– I’m scared of a c-section

And I’ll admit, I’m terrified about what pregnancy will do to my body afterwards

 

 

 

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