Post # 1
Preface: the only guy I’ve ever had sex with is my husband. I’ve given and recieved oral with a handful.
Okay, so I feel like I hear (in real life and on WB), over and over, the idea that you need to “test drive the car before you buy” – meaning, have enough sex to know that you’re sexually compatible.
I can certainly understand why this would be a valuable practice in many relationships, and am not asking whether you agree with it or not.
My question is this: Is it possible to predict sexual compatibility from non-vaginal sex? i.e. if someone is a good kisser (etc. – how do you say ‘oral sex-er’? haha), is that indicative of how sex with them will be? Or to put it another way, have you had partners where you were sexually compatible while making out, oral sex, etc., but not vaginal sex?
(Since I can’t know from personal experience, please, share your personal experience! I’ll try to figure out how to word this in a poll in case people don’t want to say too much, haha)
Post # 3
I find that men who are generally awkward socially, or in their communication are also awkward in bed.Bad kissers are usually bad in bed.
In my experience, men that are good dancers, kissers, and communicate with peers and friends well, are better in bed.
I judge sexual compatibility by how well one’s idea of good sex compares with my own. Some people’s idea of a crazy night in bed differs from mine.
I have only been with a handful of people so obviously I can’t do a complete field study of my findings lol.
Post # 4
I have had boyfriends who were great kissers and appalling in bed. My fiance started out as a pretty appalling kisser and FANTASTIC in bed.
Sexual compatibility for me also goes beyond sheer penetrative sex, but that isn’t everyone.
Post # 5
I don’t think a correlation really exists. My thinking is, someone could kiss a lot of people, making them a good kisser, but not have much experience with sex, so then they aren’t very good. I know when hubs and I got together, we spent a lot of time just figuring out what we both liked. We tailored kissing to what we both like, and in other areas as well. So, I think as long as you are willing to change if needed to suit your partner (of course, talking more long term relationships here) then I think anyone could potentionally be sexually compatible, given enough practice
Post # 6
Hmm interesting questions…
I’ve never had a partner who was great in bed that I did not enjoy kissing or making out with. But then again, I’ve never chosen to have sex with someone I didn’t enjoy kissing because I obviously wasn’t turned on by him- lol.
I personally found it more beneficial living together with Darling Husband before marriage than having sex before marriage. That was more of an indicator of compatability for me as I knew from the first time we made out that he would satisfy my sexual needs. I was surprised by some things I learned when we first moved in together, but I can’t say I was surprised that sex was great with him because I had already fallen in love with him before we reached that point.
Hope that answers your questions. 🙂
Post # 7
The guys that I was with that were bad kissers were also bad in bed… And I’ve always been one to be able to “adapt” my kiss but some were just that bad… and well the rest of the night proceeded to follow the same suite.
Post # 8
@runsyellowlites: Haha I love your nice way of putting that. 😉
Post # 9
I think if you’re both willing to learn and to be open then you have a shot at being compatible, but things that have seemed totally normal to me have been completely disgusting to some of the guys I’ve been with.
Post # 10
I can understand why lots of people would want to do this also, but for my husband and I we just didn’t. We have only done anything with each other. He kissed one other girl, but that’s it.
I personally think we have sexual compatibility, but maybe had we done things with others, we would view it differently. I don’t know, and frankly don’t care to know. All I know is sex with my husband is loving, fun, and satisfying… so what more do I need?
Post # 11
Is it possible to predict sexual compatibility from non-vaginal sex?
My answer would be no. I’ve dated a couple of amazing kissers who were terrible at everything else, a really bad kisser who was great at everything else, a guy who was just bad at everything, and a few guys who were great at everything (my husband falls into this category, thankfully, lol).
More often than not I had preconceived notions of how good/bad someone would be in bed and turned out to be completely wrong.
Sometimes if the chemistry’s not there, you can help it along and eventually achieve compatibility. Then again, sometimes you just have to smile at each other, shrug, and admit it just isn’t going to get better.
Post # 12
I dont think kissing or oral compatibility necessarily determines sexual compatibility….I’ve kissed or done oral with guys who I’ve then slept with and it not gone over so well!
Post # 13
I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with someone who was a bad kisser. I HAVE had guys who were GREAT kissers but mediocre in bed. I find the best indicator to be someone who actually CARES about you being satisfied and is perceptive.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood
There was one guy who I LOVED to kiss but HATED having sex with. So, you know, in my case, that didn’t indicate good sexual compatibility.