(Closed) Lets talk about sleep

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

There is new research on CIO that says that it fosters insecure attachment, so we’re definitely not going that route. (When I say CIO, I mean putting the baby down and leaving them, and checking on them infrequently– not crying while you are holding them or standing next to them comforting them).

Babywise is very controversial and we pediatricians discourage use of the techniques because there have been some deaths and failure to thrive associated with it.  FWIW Gary Ezzo is not licensed in anything and the doctor that he collaborated with was his Son In Law I believe.  There is lots of information on the web about Babywise if you are so inclined to dig through it.

Healthy Sleep Habits… is really out of date at this point.

We usually recommend Happiest Baby on the Block and the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

I also love Wonder Weeks and Touchpoints because they help you understand the developmental stage that the baby is going through and why they might be having sleep regression.

Regardless, it’s hard.  We were really lucky with a great sleeper until I went back to work.  Now I’m thrilled with 3 hour stretches!

Post # 4
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I just got No Cry Sleep solution on my Kindle, so I’ll start that probably next weekend.  Our pediatrician also encouraged us to put Addie down for sleep when she’s “drowsy but awake,” so we’ve been working on that.  She isn’t very good at self-soothing, though, so I feel like she’s a little young to begin sleep training.  Anyway, now that I’m going back to work, I’m actually kinda grateful that she’s not sleeping through the night yet (she still gets up twice); night feedings are practically the only time I’ll get to spend with her during the week! 

Post # 5
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have to second the “happiest baby on the block.” I found Dr. Harvey’s ideas to work really well especially when our little guy was going through a really fussy phase around four weeks. I’m not a big fan of the whole CIO method, a baby will cry and fuss because he needs something- food, warmth, comfort etc. and I feel like it’s our job as parents to attend to our babies’ needs. Also, have you thought about bringing the baby into the bed with you? I know not everyone wants to do that but it’s helped all three of us get some much needed sleep. I don’t think we’ll do any sort of sleep training, we’ll just take our cues from the baby and try to take a relaxed approach to the whole thing. Luckily though for me, I’m able to be a sahm so we have plenty of time to nap together during the day if he has a hard night…

Post # 7
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

@Derbybride:  You are teaching me something.  I thought she was a developmental psychologist, but digging deeper I think you are right.  I’ll stay on the look out for more good books!

Post # 8
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Luckily our babygirl was always a good sleeper. She started sleeping through the night @ 6wks. But around 7months she wouldnt sleep. Finally 1 night I let CIO just like 10min at a time. Like clock work. Probably after an hour or so she stayed a sleep. This went on for 4 straight days!!! By the 5th day she went to bed @ 8pm & woke up at 730am. We haven’t had a problem since! Shes 19months now. Sleeps 730-730 every night. Shes always had a routine, always fed, changed, bathed all that stuff at the same time. I def think it helps. She knows when its bath time & even helps me get her ready for bed. Voluntarily goes in her room, says “night night & love you”.

Post # 9
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@ Derbybride – I was surprised, too, to find out that many babies only nap 30-45 minutes at a time instead of taking longer naps.  Addie seems to get super cranly when she doesn’t get enough sleep, so a couple weeks ago I figured out a new trick to help her take longer naps. 

One newborn sleep cycle lasts 30-45 minutes, so Addie’s problem is that she is waking every cycle, instead of sleeping 2 or 3 cycles in a row.  Now, I put her to sleep somewhere close to me instead of in her crib.  At about 30 minutes, I watch her more closely, and when she starts stirring a little, I pick her up and put her back to sleep.  She doesn’t wake up all the way in between sleep cycles, so she’s easier to put back to sleep, and she isn’t as cranky because it’s more like she’s taking a 2 or 3 hour nap.  This has really helped her become less overtired, and it makes her awake time more enjoyable.

Post # 11
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Something else that helps me is to wear her during naps.  I put Addie in the Moby, and she’ll sleep for longer; I think it’s because she’s close to me and can feel that I’m near her.  You could also just hold him for naps, but I prefer the baby carrier because then I can get up and do stuff and Addie will stay asleep. 

Good luck!  I hope things turn around for you!

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Agree 100% with DG on Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits.

We have gone by the theory of the “fourth trimester.”  Basically we did not do ANY sleep training until MB was at least three months old.  Before that, a baby is not consciously doing anything, so trying to “teach” him to go to sleep is silly.  A baby operates mostly on reflexes and instincts until she is three months old, so if she’s hungry, she cries.  If she’s tired, she sleeps.  We just worked around her schedule.

Once she turned three months, we started actually trying to put her to sleep.  We lay with her until she falls asleep, then put her in her crib.  Sometimes we give it the ten minute rule: if she cries for more than 10 minutes, she isn’t sleepy, we don’t try to force it.  That just makes her fussier (must be frustrating to just want to be held and to keep being put down in a crib.)  We’re coming up on four months, and her sleep schedule is mostly the same every day: wake at 0730, nap at 1030 after a feeding, wake at 1330, nap at 1600 after a feeding, wake at 1700, go to bed at 2300 after a bath, wake at 0430, eat immediately and go immediately back to sleep.

Keep in mind that we are BFing, so she needs to eat more often, and is unable to sleep through the night at this point.  Five hours is the longest she can go without eating.  A formula fed baby may sleep longer earlier.

Also, FWIW, MB regressed in her sleep at 7 weeks, 13 weeks, and 19 weeks.  She would sleep maybe 3 hours at a time, and she was really fussy during the day.  This seems to correlate to the major developmental milestones I read about in Wonder Weeks, so now we can not only understand it, but anticipate it.  It helps a lot to know that it’s not something we’re doing or something the baby is doing, it’s just a part of growing.

Post # 13
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

Thanks to your recommendation, I just watched HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK (dvd, not book) and it was amazing!! Can’t wait to try the techniques I saw the pediatrician do over and over again to calm the baby. I feel way more comfortable with swaddling now. Darling Husband said he wants to watch it too. I’ve read so many baby books in the past few months, started taking classes, but now I’m a huge fan of baby learning by dvd! Blockbuster online has a bunch.

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