(Closed) Let's talk hostess gifts and shower etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
14 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013 - The Fez in Aliquippa, PA


1. I gave my Maid/Matron of Honor & BM’s a gift (they planned it/hosted it) and also gifted my Future Mother-In-Law, her sister and her BFF, who cooked all of the food.

2. I gave them all of their gifts when I saw them. For the BM’s and my Maid/Matron of Honor, it was the day before and for the rest, it was the day-of, however it was easier for me as I wasn’t traveling far (about an hour). I’d imagine, since you were traveling, you could send them ahead of time (even to a central location?) so that they’d be there when you get there OR after the fact, but I’d explain what’s going on so that no one feels slighted.

3. I organized a basket for my Maid/Matron of Honor & BM’s, complete with tie-the-knot earrings from Blue Nile, a small bottle of their favorite liquor and a personalized tumbler. For my Future Mother-In-Law, I gifted her a personalized tumbler and a bottle of her favorite liquer (Tequila Rose) and I gifted her sister & BFF the same (Firewater and Sambuca, respectively). We’re easy, big drinkers, though, so this may not apply for you!

I think solid, thoughtful gifts often come in the form of jewlery or something personalized. 

I hope this helps! 

Post # 4
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999


1.    I only got hostess gifts for those whose names were on the invite as hosting. If you get your BMs a gift for being co-hosts it should be different from the bridesmaid gift. 
2.   At my first shower, I gave the gifts at the end of the shower once all the guests had left.  My second shower was a surprise, so I sent hostess gifts afterwards.  I think you can get away with doing either.
3.    Hostess gifts I gave: wine and local gourmet chocolates, stonewall kitchen gift baskets, jewelry. (Not all to everyone, I switched it up based on the person!)

Post # 6
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes you definely need to get gifts for those who are helping throw your shower separate from Bridesmaids gifts.


You dont have to spend a lot but it should be something practical and personal but they should all be equal. Unless 1 person is doing a LOT more work for the shower than the others which in your situaion souds like the case. Since you are traveling I suggest getting something online that you can ship ahead of time.

I’m in a simliar situation as you. My mom’s friends are throwing me a big shower back home in Texas. I’m flying in for the weekend and trying to bring just a carry on. I bought my hostesses these cute clear trays from Etsy. That way they all get the same gift but the are personalized with everyone’s name/initials and favorite colors! They are multi-purpose so that everyone is likely to have a use for them (decoration, jewelry, catch all, entertaining or whatever). They came wrapped in clear cellophane with matching bows and they look super cute! I’m so excited to give them to the ladies on Saturday. 

Oh and they were only $11.50 each!

What do you think?


Here is the link to the Etsy shop- http://www.etsy.com/shop/HomeLush?ref=seller_info

This lady is amazing I only ordered them a few days ago and they are already at my moms house wrapped and ready to go. I just need to add some matching thank you cards.

Post # 7
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

1. I got hostess gifts for everyone who helped host everything, including the bridesmaids.

2. All of mine were given the week after the event/s.

3. For the bridesmaid and friend who threw the bach party, Anthropologie gift cards and separate personalized gifts (for one, a picture frame with a picture of her and her fiance, because they don’t have ANY pictures of themselves, and for another, some cute house things and a book). For the hostesses of my shower, Sur La Table gift cards and kitchen gadgets.

Post # 8
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@phillybride61513:  I will be giving my two Aunts a gift for hosting my Bridal Shower. Both of their names are listed on the invitation as hostesses. I have decided to get them a figurine from Willow Tree, with one that says “thank you” with a nice thank you card. (http://www.houseofwillowtree.com/Just-For-You-26166.htm)I am bringing the gifts with me the day of the shower (since I am also traveling to my shower location) and hope to give it to them after the shower.

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