(Closed) Let's talk Money! Or Not!

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 32
Member
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@weddingbee098:  I like to talk about money.  I don’t think it’s taboo, but I also recognize that advertsing your salary to friends and family is not acceptable in our culture.  However, I find on other forums I am really alientated.  I post on relevant money/retirement boards – people who are lke minded and won’t have a cow when you mention an actual figure.

And I love a deal.  I love thrift stores!

Post # 33
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@thehappiestbridetobe:  I think it’s sad that you think the only reason someone would ask is to use it against you.  Asking is a way of learning, someone might come across something they had never thought of before.

View original reply
@skippydarling:  I guess I’m a nobody along with quite a few other posters then?

Post # 34
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@thehappiestbridetobe:  Interesting you feel like people have malintent when inquiring. Perhaps I just assume positive intent more often than not, but I feel like it is human nature to compare. I don’t think it is inherently good or bad, but more a curiosity. 

OP, I don’t mind talking about finances/incomes/savings in general depending on who asks. If a good friend is curious about how much of a downpayment we are putting down on a home or my student loan debt, I have no problem discussing it. I don’t think they are asking to hold it against me (why would I be friends with someone like that?). Now, I don’t talk about salary with co-workers out of respect for our professional environment and organization’s expectations. If a complete stranger asked me in real life, I would probably not discuss it either–unless it’s on the weddingbee…then I sometimes respond 🙂

Post # 35
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@AB Bride:  I don’t see how it’s “sad?” No one needs to feel sorry that I don’t share my finances with strangers lol it’s my preference to keep it private. Asking me how much money I make, how much money I spend on xyz thing, or how much money is in my savings account isn’t going to help anyone learn anything.

Post # 36
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@bmo88:  What I said wasn’t meant to come off as “I immediately think the worst of someone’s intentions.” Sorry that’s what you got from it. Just stating I don’t believe MY finances are anyone’s business. 

Post # 37
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@AB Bride:  +1

@skippydarling:  Did you actually conduct an official poll to ascertain this information? j/k Smile

I am sometimes surprised at how many people manage to have stellar finances, no student loans and don’t believe in debt, but I have also seen a fair amount of bees with the exact opposite. My guess is that those with “ideal” circumstances are more likely to be forthright with their information–or they are lying (I prefer to believe in the former though).

FWIW, I don’t have perfect finances and we have debt (student loans mostly)…hell, we are about to take on a good sized mortgage. We have just learned how to effectively manage our debt and still maintain good finances while enjoying a fun, active lifestyle

 

Post # 38
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@thehappiestbridetobe:  Of course, it’s your right to keep your information to yourself. That’s your choice how open or closed you are to that conversation.

Regarding what others can learn, I disagree because it can be. I have talked at length with my brother (who is not so good at finances) at what I have saved in my retirement, how much I put in savings each month and have used it as a starter for how he can improve his situation. He was curious what I did, and I shared. Now, he saves 10% of his income in a 401k and auto-saves another 5% each month. I have also learned a great deal about salary negotiation and my “worth” in certain positions based on conversations with a good friend in my field. She was willing to discuss what she made and her qualifications. Based on that information, I negotiated higher pay. Not every situation is informative or a “learning” moment, but it can be. 

View original reply
@BrandNewBride:  I actually think it depends on the “feel” of the thread and the question asked.

If a thread says, “Bees who make over $100k, tell me what you do for a living” then people who make that end up posting. If it says, “show me your 3 ct rings and tell me the specs/price” then you see more expensive things. Of course, if it is titled “Budget Brides, Share Your Tips,” you will see people going crazy with money saving tips. 

Post # 40
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I love to discuss money when it comes to talking about investments, savings and budgets. But the only people who know my actual salary in real life (barring my boss and the higher ups in the company) are my parents and Fiance and that’s the way it will stay. I have discussed wages with other people in the past, but it usually leaves me feeling like shit because they think I should get a better paying job. I live in an area where you could go out and get a job paying $25 an hour easily, as long as you’re physically fit and willing to work hard. People don’t understand why I’m doing a job that’s just as demanding but being paid less. The thing is that I don’t just want a job, I want a career. Yeah I’m only making $20 and hour today, but I’m on the same career path as my Dad who was able to retire at age 54 and was making $67 an hour. I’m in it for tne long term, which seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of people here in oil country. I don’t mind discussing it on the internet because people don’t seem to judge so harshly, and I’m also talking to strangers so I don’t care about people’s opinions as much. 

Post # 41
Member
6114 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@bmo88:  I had a similar situation!  I did not talk about figures, but I talked to a friend about saving for retirement (it came up loosely in conversation).  She is the same age as me 37.  She said she is going to wait until after her student loans are paid off (in 10 years) and THEN start saving.  She wasn’t sure how much of a difference it would make because “interest rates are so low they’d make barely nothing.”  I was pretty shocked at that plan!  I told her it would be very good to put money away now, even $100/month and let time be on her side.  Set the accounts to aggressive.  It will grow in the long haul.  It was the first time she ever heard that advice.

Then on the other hand, I think I probably should not have said anything because I feared I looked like a know it all.  Honestly, I was really concerned for her financial future if she’s going to wait until she’s 47 to start saving for retiremetn on purpose.

Post # 42
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@thehappiestbridetobe:  That’s how I took your earlier comment.  Asking what you make is one thing, asking about how you spend your money or why you spend your money a certain way is something that someone could learn from.

I have no issue with people keeping things private, but it just sounded like the only reason someone would even would be interested is to use it against you.

Post # 43
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@bmo88:  I think we have a similar viewpoint about money overall.  I also think of the BMO bank (one of the major ones here) every time I see your username!  lol

Post # 44
Member
9163 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I just think different cultures/countries have differnt views on this topic. Here in Australia I find it to be a pretty common topic of conversation. Not in a judgemental way but as a source of comparison, to ensure we are getting paid what we rightfully should be or market value or that we weren’t ripped off.

It shocked me when I came onto the bee that people actually thought it was rude/offensive to discuss ring values, costs of weddings/houses/anything with friends and family but perfectly ok to spill your guts on this stuff plus a multitude of other personal information on the internet! 

The topic ‘Let's talk Money! Or Not!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors