(Closed) Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 47
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@housebee:  I guess the article rubbed me the wrong way. I feel sorry for the bride who got it, because her bridesmaid must have not had faith in the bride that she would take care of bridesaids. Plus the worse is to expect to choose them their own dress. That is what normal guests do, not those selected ones who have a privilege to be in the bridal arty, attend rehearsal dinners for free, be in a wedding photos… She never said how she is happy for a bride,k she gave the list what she wants. How abut that bride will give her a list what she wants, whould that be rude rigth?!

Post # 48
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@PixelMePretty:  so you are not a cool bride, because you want bridesmaids to have similar dresses, that they choose altogether?! that is very demanding

Post # 49
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@inspiration86:  I really like to be generous and I would downsize my wedding in order to pamper my best friends, so maybe I read this letter differently than other bees. It was written in a stupid cutesy way, but the general advice was good. 

I don’t see why brides make it seem like they’re doing their friends a favour by letting them be bridesmaids. There’s a mutual responsibility there.

Post # 50
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

Welcome to the wedding industry. OF COURSE this list encourages the bride to think she’s required to spend more money on crap like twee little kits, special food/drinks, tons of gifts, flip-flop baskets, beauty treatments, and freakin’ plastic high heel things. Note that they don’t say not to expect an all-out Vegas bachelorette party, but just that the bride should spend even more to make it happen.

Real life bridesmaids don’t demand that kind of stuff. Friendship (and fiscal soundness) is completely the opposite of this wedding-industrial arms race where the bride pressures the bridesmaids to spend more more more on crap for her special day and then (in this list) bridesmaids turn the tables by pressuring the bride to spend more money back.

#9 is legit though.

Post # 51
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@4cube:  This was my point too. Almost every one of those steps encourages brides to spend more money on the wedding industry. It’s not serious advice IMO. Just a wedding industry props list.

Post # 52
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Bridesmaidzilla, definitely!

Post # 53
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

@inspiration86:  It doesn’t say “and if you don’t then EFF you I’m out of the wedding.”

They are suggestions to be a cool bride, and frankly, it’s ALWAYS cool when the bride lets us pick our own dresses that we feel good in. I’ve been on both ends, and if the bride gave us the choice: which is cooler, if I pick the same dress for all of you, or you all get to pick your own dress, I’m thinking most people would be happier choosing their own, I know I always am. Which makes it COOLER, which is the point of the article.

Everyone can have whatever look they want, I don’t give a crap, bridesmaids will do whatever you tell them to anyway, usually without complaint, but there are certainly suggestions many on that article, that will make the whole experience funner/more comfortable/happier for the bridesmaid, which is what the article is about.

I’ve had to wear giant poofy purple animal print tool matching bridesmaids dresses, would I rather have picked my own? Of course. But I still wore it without complaint.

Post # 54
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My philosphy is that you should act as a bridesmaid the way you want to be treated as a bride. I dropped everything for my friends’ weddings. Seriously, I offered to help all throughout their engagement and did anything they asked. I literally went wedding dress shopping with one girl over 6 times (each time for 8 hour days, like a job, seriously). I just hope that now that it’s MY turn, they’ll return the favor. I don’t care about any of this other shit, they put me in matching dresses, they picked the dress (with my input – like if I didn’t like the dress, they wouldn’t pick it), one girl gave me a uniform gift, made us spend nearly $500 on a bachelorette party, etc. You know what? It’s my turn now. And I won’t feel bad asking for all the things they asked for and expect from them everything I did for them for their wedding. That’s all. None of these stupid rules.

It’s not your fkn wedding, bridesmaid. Pipe down.

Post # 55
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

@Miss Damask:  +1, I missed your comment on my first read through. What creeps me out though is that some people do read this kind of stuff and start thinking it’s okay to expect all that.

Post # 56
Member
6386 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@inspiration86:  I would think if this was a real letter it would rub any bride the wrong way if she received it.  However, I personally view the bride and groom as hosts vs. guests of honor, which is why this letter/article makes sense to me.  Also, I don’t see being a Bridesmaid or Best Man as a priveledge, I see it as a chore because I’m the DIYer and I’ll end up doing most of the crafting.  I think it really comes down to each couples’ social circle and culture/traditions.  As long as your wedding party is ok with it and you’re not being unreasonable, I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong.”

Post # 57
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@futuremrsk18:  Wow, we would not be friends/bridesmaids. What would you do if the girl you busted you ass for declined to be a bridesmaid in your wedding?

My friends have been by and large super cool. The last wedding I was a bridesmaid at, we each got to pick dresses from a color scheme, and I was happy to already own a dress and a pair of shoes that matched. I sent her photos and asked her if she wanted me to bring them over to her house so she could approve, but she said she totally trusted my judgment. When we went wedding dress shopping, we spent one full day going through appointments, and she then tried to buy us all dinner, but we all insisted to pay. Some girls got their hair and makeup done, but I decided to do my own. I was going to bring my own curling iron, but my friend already negotiated with the hairstylist that I would be doing my own hair, but could use their tools. For gifts, we all got a vintage tea cup and some lovely teas. My friend is a super cool bride and I was truly honoured to stand up with her because she made sure we were all happy, not stressed, and truly there for the right reasons. We weren’t her little minions, and I was more than happy to help her with extensive DIY and set up/clean up because of her attitude. She thanked us so many times that we were literally like, “dude, you need to watch for bridal shows.”

Post # 58
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Kandiss16:  A few of the things are understandable, but it’s a little over the top with most of the suggestions.

Post # 59
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@letigre:  they never would, that’s why we’re friends. they all assumed they’d be in my wedding and can’t stop asking me how they can help. seriously even the single girl who hasn’t been married yet. luckily for them, i’m having a very hands-free non-diy wedding and i don’t live in their state so there won’t be much for them to do anyway. but i don’t think it’s ridiculous for me to pick out the dress i want in the professional pictures im paying for and keeping (especially since they did the same and i paid $200-300 PER dress). but if there IS something i ask for, i would seriously hope they’d make time for it (and I know they will.. again, that’s just the type of friends we are). if they said no, there would be a real, valid reason for it. i’d understand. and if they just said no bc they didn’t feel like returning the favor, the friendship would for sure be over. obviously, it’s one-sided.

Post # 60
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@elliptical2013:  It shouldn’t be *expected* that the girls put out money for hair/makeup for your wedding. Everyone has different financial situations

If a girl is paying

$100-$200 for a dress

$100+ for a wedding gift

$50-$100+ on your shower

$50-100 + on your bachelorette party

They shouldn’t *have* to get their hair/makeup done. if they want to, they can. I don’t have money for all that plus more as a student

Post # 61
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If I had a bridesmaid tell me this stuff, she’d get to be a bridesmaid for someone else. This is beyond rude. While I don’t think *some* of this is out of the question, it sure as shit doesn’t apply to everyone.

The topic ‘Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it’ is closed to new replies.

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