(Closed) Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 62
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Here’s a thought – it doesn’t make the bride a horrible, horrible person if she is too everloving busy to remember to buy some stupid flip flops. How about keeping in mind how incredibly nervewracking and stressful it is to plan a wedding. And what’s with all the “buy me this” stuff? If that is all you are concerned about, you can go on somewhere.

Post # 63
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve seen this article before.  When I read it at first i thought it was a joke…I rolled my eyes then and rolled them again re-reading it.  Seriously?  Bridemaid-zilla is for sure. 

Post # 64
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I would be quite upset if I got that.

Post # 65
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I feel like this is 100% an advertisement. Nearly everything is monetary items/gifts/ideas. You want shoes that don’t sink- maybe you should buy your own heel stoppers! You want to be pampered- maybe you should pay for a day at the spa for 8 people! You want a hangover kit- maybe you should invest in some tylenol or maybe just don’t get hammered! 

Post # 66
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

The first couple of points were fine, but once it got to the gifts, paying for the hair, and asking you to set single ones up, it became rude. And this is coming from someone who treats people nicely and wants them to be comfortable; paying for the attire, hair and makeup, and getting them a nice gift is something I would do on my own. That’s just how I prefer to do things. 

 

Basically, one and two are ok, and the one about not resenting them if they can’t help with tasks and errands for legitimate reasons is good, but the rest are just so self-centered. I wouldn’t have this person in my party. They likely aren’t that close to me if they felt the need to send me a “note” of helpful reminders about what they want me, the bride, to do for them. I mean, suggesting the bride should buy you a gift, set you up if your single, get you liquored up before the wedding, and pay for the hairstyle if *gasp* you have to wear a certain style? That’s so rude. 

 

Ick, no. 

 

 

 

Post # 67
Member
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I actually agree with most of these. Maybe not the tone in which it’s written, but the message is solid: let your bridesmaids wear something that is flattering and comfortable; spoil them a little; don’t pick fashion over function when it comes to shoes; be reasonable with requests of their time; give up control over the b-party; and if you want them in complex hair or makeup, you foot the bill. 

i think every bride needs to have a long think on these!

Post # 68
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@memo:  

Your particular bridesmaids or your situation is different from everyone elses.

In my situation, my girlfriends do this on a week by week basis, get dolled up, buy expensive dresses, and have taken classes/tutoring on how to do make up from professional make up artists. This was happening during college and happening now after they got professional jobs.

Now if any of those girls were to print that out and give it to me expecting me to pay for them to be pampered I’d soon cut her out. They pamper themselves enough.

$100-200 on a wedding gift? WEDDING GIFTS ARE NOT MANDATORY they are optional. Asking a bridesmaid to be part of my day and they say yes, then it is MANDATORY they show up for that time frame and be dressed appropriately.

 

Post # 69
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That is asking quite a bit especially since the attitude now-a-days is that all a Bridesmaid or Best Man has to do is show up on the big day properly dressed!

Post # 70
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@memo: 

I don’t know, I didn’t have a shower, bachelorette party or anything.

Asking a bridesmaid to buy a dress and if they all agree to do hair and make up then everyone has to pay for it is up to them.

Not everyone does all the events that are part of a wedding. 

Post # 71
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

6 out of 10 things on that list are about the bride buying shit for the BMs!! EWWWW and gag.

But on the otherhand I wish I had known about heel stoppers before my wedding.  I went straight through the earth 🙁

Post # 72
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@classical_wolf:  yeah i agree, i think they are missing the point about what it means to be a bridesmaid. People never have to say yes to being a bridesmaid!

Post # 73
Member
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Atalanta:  why eeeeww? Half this shit, the bridesmaids end up buying even though it’s the bride that wants it.

 

How many on here insist the bm’s buy specific shoes or pay for an updo or pay for their own mani/pedi before the wedding or bring all the nibbles and wine for while you’re getting ready? This stuff gets bought anyway in sooooooo many cases! Saying the bride doesn’t have to do this stuff wont take one dime away from the wedding party. It just changes whose pocket it comes out of!

Post # 74
Member
1946 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this – seems like common sense to me!  I especially agree about the dresses.  I didn’t even give my girls a color, just told them to wear whatever they wanted.  They’re my friends, not photo props, and I didn’t want them to spend extra money.

Post # 75
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@elliptical2013:  you sound to contradict yourself in your posts. One posts sounds to say it is mandatory to have their make up and hair done professionally from their pocket…..then in the next one you say “Asking a bridesmaid to buy a dress and if they all agree to do hair and make up then everyone has to pay for it is up to them.”

The main point in your quote is *if*. IF they agree to get their hair done at their own expense then yes, they should pay for it. but, if you say it is MANDATORY that they get their hair done, then YOU should pay for it.

WEDDING GIFTS ARE NOT MANDATORY”…………neither is paying for hair and makeup

Post # 76
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee

I think these are pretty reasonable, except maybe a tad materialistic regarding the gifts.

The topic ‘Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it’ is closed to new replies.

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