(Closed) Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 77
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

The tips all seem like standard things the bride should make sure to do.

I think the author just chose to write it in a “cute” way like “what your dog wishes he/she could tell you” (NOT that I’m comparing bridesmaids to dogs, I’m just saying, from the first-person perspective of a person/being who can’t actually SAY these things).

Post # 78
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I actually really liked it. I thought it was cute and quirky.

Post # 79
938 posts
Busy bee

I thought this was very reasonable. I read the Expectations of some girls here of their 9 member, cross country bridal parties and frankly cringe. They are doing you a favor, not the other way around. I had one attendant, she was fantastic. I asked rather little of her yet she went above and beyond. I think that I did everything on this list. If not, I came pretty close. She was my maid of honor, not my bitch of honor and I am so grateful to her for everything she did.

Post # 80
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I did give my girls a colour swatch and told them to find a dress that they like, I let them wear whatever shoes they wanted, in whatever colour, style etc (as long as it was some what formal). I also gave them gift (non pesonalized), nor did I tell them they had to get their hair & make up down or that it needed to be done a certain way and I didnt have any input/complain about the bachelorette party but the rest is rather demaning.

I didnt demand that they be available at my every need or demand that they throw me various parties or events.


Post # 81
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@lina010:  I agree, it is the delivery that bothers me, not really the ideas. 


I don’t love this. lol. 

Post # 82
1742 posts
Bumble bee

I also think that there’s more reason than foolishness in a lot of the things on this list.  Then again, I don’t think that being a bridesmaid is a honor; I think it is a burden you assume for a friend.  One asks one’s close friends because it would be embarassing to ask anyone who wasn’t close to take on the burden of the task.  Since I personally am very concerned with issues of reciprocity, I think that when you ask a friend to take on a burden for you, you need to go above and beyond to demonstrate your thanks.

Post # 83
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

I pretty much agree with everything on the list. It all sounds harsh, but unless you are a complete bridezilla, I think most of these would be done anyway.

And about the hair – if you are going to DEMAND that all your ladies get a particular hair style, and one bridemaid can’t afford it, you either compromise, or pay for her to get it done. 

Post # 84
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Kandiss16:  wow!

“…in case you didn’t have enough to worry about for your wedding day…here’s a list of MY demands so you don’t have to guess about what I want on YOUR special day…”

Post # 85
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Horseradish:  How many on here insist the bm’s buy specific shoes or pay for an updo or pay for their own mani/pedi before the wedding or bring all the nibbles and wine for while you’re getting ready?

Nope, not a chance.

Post # 86
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t like the way the article is written, but I don’t think anything on there is that crazy.

Post # 87
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Here is my response letter:


Dear  Wedding Industrial Complex,


Please stop telling me to buy things in order to show people I love them.


Thank you, 



Honestly, I think if I were just frames as an article “10 Ideas to make you the nicest bride ever” vs. a request from a bridesmaid it would have come across a lot better.


Post # 88
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@inspiration86:  Mr. LK and I paid for our wedding, thanks. We made decisions about what was important to us and prioritized accordingly. The people we celebrated with were important to us. Our loved ones were our priority.

Edit: Being a bridesmaid is not an honor. It’s an unpaid part time job imposed by many brides on their closest ladies. In the last wedding where I was a maid I threw (and paid for) the bridal shower, planned the entire bachelorette (to meet the bride’s specifications) and paid my share, paid for my travel, paid for my dress and alterations, paid for my hair (required), paid for my mani and pedi (required), took multiple days off from my job to humor the bride’s dress shopping whims, was free labor the day before the wedding to do set-up, was the ad hoc DOC, was free labor the day after for clean-up, and more. It was a job. And while I am glad that I was able to make my friend happy, it was a job.

Post # 89
2175 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Kandiss16:  I want to know who the bride is that felt the need to label the fruit.  Seriously, a sign that says “Strawberries” (in almost illegible print) in front of a bowl of strawberries?

The first half of this letter felt like an advertisement, for heel protectors, flip flops, hangover bags, personalized necklaces…Also if I was single and the groomsmen looked like that photo I wouldn’t care how much Bridesmaid or Best Man slave labor I had to endure 😉

Post # 90
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

haha bridesmaidzilla definitely!! 

Post # 91
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


Yuck. I was MUCH less demanding than this, & I was the *bride*!

1) You want me to let you pick the exact shade of color for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, & then also pick your own & get over it if I don’t love it? Hah. Think again!

2) Wait. You think it’s my problem to keep you from feeling pain in heels, or sinking into grass? & I should also be supplying dancing shoes because, again, it’s my responsibility to take care of *your* feet? B*tch must be cray. Do you *not* own a pair of flip flops for dancing? ugh.

3) Drinks, snack, & extra pampering? Wait, are *you* the bride? This is getting awfully demanding.

4) You want gifts, you say? RUDE.

5) You seriously can’t pay to have your hair done & are now *demanding* that it’s a courtesy that I owe you? Wow..

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