(Closed) Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 92
Member
6534 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsSkeletonKey:  but these ladies wouldn’t need the fancy hairdo if it weren’t for your wedding! Why should they need to foot the bill? I guarantee none of my bridesmaids ever run around town in a $90 updo and $80 worth of makeup on a random Saturday. They’re putting on their finest for my wedding; it’s not fair that they have to pay for that! And it may be bad etiquette for them to ask for a gift, but it’s not wrong for them to want one. After all, so many brides only give their ladies the same jewelry uniform they want for the wedding photos. That’s no way to thank your friends for their love and support and time!

 

Post # 93
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Kandiss16:  The way it is presented rubs me the wrong way.  Also, while some mis-matched bridesmaid dresses look good, those don’t look good together at ALL- they don’t even look like bridesmaids!

Post # 94
Hostess
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Kandiss16:  The only part that I don’t like is the “shower me with presents, because I’m helping you”…then a couple points later “don’t ask me last min to help. I have a life!”….ummmm Yes I did give presents to my girls…but I also asked ethem to help last min (not as a bridezilla…but I needed help and they were willing)

Post # 95
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@lovekiss:  Then why are you friends with somebody who treats you this way? I do not understand how brides can treat their BMs this way, neither how bridesmaids have the attitude that being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is a job, they are your friend, dont you want to be there for their special day?

Post # 97
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@futuremrsk18:  That’s my Bridesmaid or Best Man philosophy as well!  The first time I was a bridesmaid, I drove 8 hours each way to see my friend pick her wedding dress.  I’ve helped make invitations from scratch for two girls (one of whom I wasn’t even a Bridesmaid or Best Man for), gone to tons of wedding shows/ photographer appts/ cake tasting appts/ caterer tastings, made veils (beaded by hand), sewed bridesmaids dresses, thrown bachelorette parties and bridal showers, helped address invites and escort cards, wore my matching dress/shoes/and jewelry, didn’t complain when I hated my makeup on the wedding day and offered moral support for in-law issues, guest list drama, and the huge amount of stress that goes along with planning a wedding.  And hopefully, one day when I (finally) get married, it will be my turn and my girls will be in my corner! 

Post # 98
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Horseradish:  As a bridesmaids, you assume certain responsibilities. Two responsibilities that I think *any* bridesmaid should expect are to pay for is their dress & their hair. I didn’t make my girls get manicures or pedicures, I did their makeup for them, I even paid for half of their outfit ($60). If either of them had thrown a fuss I would have thought they were ingrates. Under no circumstances would I *ever* expect a bride to pay for my hair if I were a bridesmaid. I accepted the role to be in her wedding, after all.

Secondly, I never said it was a problem to *want* gifts in the privacy of ones own thoughts, but asking for them? Uncouth.

Post # 99
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@jennmariee:  hahaha yes that is a good point, who the heck whould label the fruit hahahaha

Post # 100
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@lovekiss:  also, I don’t need to buy my frends things to show them I care for them (like pay for hair – because I agree with the gift for BM). That is such a commercial perspective.

Post # 101
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@letigre:  Thanks :). I agree with everything you said as well. It’s definitely not a how to manual. 

Post # 102
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think it’s a good thing for brides to see, but it would be rude to send a bride if you were a bridesmaid.

Post # 103
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@inspiration86:  If I hadn’t done this, there would have been no shower, no bachelorette, no chairs for the guests to sit in at the ceremony or reception (my husband and I hauled them in our truck because the bride forgot to arrange for delivery), no one to be there with her to try on bridesmaid dresses (the other maids lived oot), and chaos on the wedding day. I did it because my friend tried to plan a wedding on her own when she hasn’t a single dang planning and organization bone in her body. She is good at a lot of things, but planning and porganizationt are not on that list. I did it because that is what you do when you see someone struggling. You step in and you step up. It was the right thing to do. As I said before, I was happy to make my friend happy. But make no mistake about it… it was a helluvalot of hard work. 

And no, paying for something the bride requires of the maid is not materialistic… it’s considerate.

Post # 104
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@lovekiss:  You did the job for all her bridesnaids,, that is unfortunate… You chose to do so, and I hope you do not regret it. Also, it is not your fault bride was not organized, but complaining about how much of a job it was, is not nice. I still consider being a Bridesmaid or Best Man an honour. Although they do so much, they get to be featured on the introduction, on photos… sure BMs have t pay from dresses, but they get to keep the dress that was chosen.

Post # 105
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee

@inspiration86:  Oh yes, getting to keep the ugly and unflattering dresses and having my name spelled incorrectly on the program made me feel so honored…LOL

My take on the whole bridal party thing is that it’s a burden, but a noble one.  Close friends bear burdens for each other.  However, I think that the friend who is having his or her burden borne should recognize that s/he is creating a burden and be appropriately grateful/lessen the burden if possible. 

Post # 106
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Jessicachantal:  And being a bridesmaid doesn’t have to come with all of these demands/frills 🙂

The topic ‘Letter from bridesmaid to bride- 10 ways to be the coolest bride. i dont like it’ is closed to new replies.

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