Post # 1
Am I the only girl who is feeling guilty for not being “Bridal” enough??
Fiance and I got engaged in January and are in the process of buying a home so we haven’t set a date (I just got my e-ring on friday!!) but already the family issues are starting!
I am a pretty practical bride, both Fiance and I know that we want a low-key, outdoor wedding with family and close friends only. When I bought my dress after 20 minutes at the salon I thought that the rest of planning would be that relaxed!
My grandmother basically drove my mother crazy with planning when she got married that her and my dad ran off to Tahoe and eloped which is creating this horrible tension when anything wedding related gets mentioned!
My mother and grandmother are at odds with eachother and I don’t know what to do! I know it’s probably their issue to deal with but if I have to feel bad about paying for it ourselves, doing my own flowers, and making pies instead of cake I am going to grab my Fiance by the hand and run off to city hall!!
I want to have a wedding so that I can enjoy this wonderful time in our lives, I want my dad to walk me down the aisle and our sisters to be our witnesses but if I have to keep defending my idea of a wedding to the two women who should be supporting me 100% I’m going to lose it!
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you have to go through this, at a time that should be fun and happy. You’re right, needing to keep “defending” your own dream wedding to two v. important people in your life is going to be too hard, frustrating, and draining to sustain for the next year. If possible, I would sit down with both of them together and calmly explain everything as you explained above. If that’s not possible, write letters to both of them. They need to hear it! You could include that you care about them both, but that it is your wedding and you want it to be as lovely and stress-free as possible. Let them know that you appreciate their wanting to help, but you’re worried that will lead to the wedding turning into something it’s not. Then sit back and see what happens. If it still gets out of hand… you just have to be firm. It’s your wedding, you’re paying for it, and they’ll get over it. Good luck!
Post # 4
First, stop looking at it as “letting them down” and think about it as “doing things differently.”
PP is right…they’ll get over it. My mom was so disappointed/mad that I don’t want long dresses, roses as flowers, ceremony in a church, reception at the place she wanted, a big poofy dress, on and on and on.
I told her (as nicely as possible) that I appreciate her input, but at the end of the day, it’s me and FI’s wedding, not the one she wished she had. She pouted for a while, then got over it. Now we do tons of planning and stuff together, even though she doesn’t always agree with me.