(Closed) Letting your childhood friend/bridesmaid Go?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I let my childhood friend/bridesmaid go?




  • Post # 3
    9168 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t think it’s necessary you all go Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping together. IN fact, I think it would be a great idea if you and her go alone. Take her to lunch, check in with her and see how things in her life are going. 

    Post # 4
    2886 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I agree with @MrsWBS:, There was no way I could coordinate a date that worked with all 5 of my BM’s and 2 Jr BM’s. Some of them have kids as well. Maybe a meet up would clarify things for you? 

    Post # 5
    2265 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    well, see, i have very little tolerance for females like this, so i voted yes. “let her go,” as in, let her just be a guest. she is causing way too much angst for you. you have enough to think about as it is, with planning the wedding and everything, and the other girls seem really invested and into it. she also clearly lied to you by saying she couldn’t be away from her kids, then going to the exact place you were going to go…WITHOUT HER KIDS. tsk tsk.

    if you’re not ready just yet to cut her loose from bridesmaiddome, i would ask her straight up if it’s because she doesn’t want to be around the other girls. if her not feeling 100% fuzzy and warm and comfortable around them is enough for her to remove herself from the most important day of your life…if it is, let her go. it’s not worth it!

    Post # 6
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m sorry this is happening to you.

    It sounds like your bridesmaid is trying to get out of being in your wedding but just doesn’t have the stones to actually come out and say it.  She is giving you excuse after excuse – the swim classes, seriously!?  You, understandably, are telling her how important it is to you that she participates , which I’m sure is making her feel sort of guilty and like she should just suck it up, but then again she realizes that for whatever reason she doesn’t want to participate and so comes out with some more excuses.  

    I would just tell her that it’s obviously not going to work for her to participate and you would be delighted if she would just attend as a guest.  She should still be invited to the bachelorette (though obviously she probably won’t go.)

    Just think about it this way, after all of these excuses, do you really still want her to be standing next to you on your big day?



    Post # 8
    5708 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It sounds like she is feeling left out maybe? I agree with some of the other PPs to maybe pick out the dress with her and make a date out of it. If you feel at this point it is more work and its worth to please this gal then I’d ask her to just be a guest after all.

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