(Closed) "Letting Yourself Go" post-wedding, does this actually happen?!

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

I didn’t diet or lose weight before my wedding, and I’d ALWAYS been the same weight since I was a teenager and I’ve still gained 3 pounds of happy weight immediately following my wedding!! Can’t believe it! And it’s all on my tummy area.. It may be I due to comfort eating sweets due to wedding stress in the run-up.

I’ve also kinda pretty much stopped shaving my legs for the last year or so too except when I want to feel sexy.. oops!

Post # 17
Member
5237 posts
Bee Keeper

I think my expectations of my own beauty regimen and care has changed the older I get. I used to think that keeping myself up was more about dressing cute/trendy and doing my make up, styling my hair every day, getting acrylic nails .

 

Now I feel keeping myself up is more about healthy skin, healthy hair and body, clean nails, etc. I don’t tan in the sun anymore (hello extra $$ on spray tans) and I don’t wear as much make up as I used to, but I’ve treated my skin kinder and I don’t need as much coverage from covering it. DH probably hasn’t noticed that much of a change, but I feel like I take better care of myself now than when we were dating.

Post # 18
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think it happens after kids when the mom doesn’t go back to work, if she isn’t careful.  It’s pretty easy to decide all you need are sweatpants and no makeup when you’re home all day.  It’s easy to skip showers whatever.  I personally think one of the biggest advantages of going back to work after you have kids is that you continue to take care of your grooming and wear decent clothes.

Post # 19
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee

I wonder if men worry about letting themselves go after marriage. 

Post # 20
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It sure will happen for me! I’m trying to get down to a weight that’s unhealthy and unrealistic for my body for the wedding, though. I’m positive I’ll gain 5-10 pounds immediately after, and I don’t mind a bit! 

Post # 21
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

In all fairness it has only just been a year, but I am my exact same weight. I lost a bit before the wedding (no exercise of diet, maybe a bit of stress) and have stayed the same ever since. I usually put on weight during winter (thays pretty a normal though i think) but have been lucky this year. Makeup etc? All the same for me. I’m a tinted moisturiser and mascara girl during the day, work, shopping etc and that has always been the case and still is now. Even if we just go out for breaky I put it on as I feel my eyes look full without mascara. Actually I DO fart more around him now. That’s my biggest change haha. 

Post # 22
Member
3458 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Syzygy88:  yeah, it’s unbalanced for sure. Before I got married, I had like toast and fruit for breakfast, sometimes packed my lunch and sometimes grabbed something at the salad bar, and had a very light dinner (because I’m too exhausted to cook after work plus I go to bed super early). But that kinda thing doesn’t really work for a family. I’d love to split cooking duties, but (1) he doesn’t enjoy my healthy non-greasy food and (2) the only time I can do it is weekends and holidays. My husband is accustomed to sitting down, at the table, saying grace and eating a big, honkin meal. Every single night. I’m working with him and he’s toning tone the oil and butter and whatnot, plus I’m just eating smaller portions of what he cooks, but it’s slow going. I’ve already put a stop to the weight gain and lost a bit as well. Well on my way to losing the rest of it. Yeah, no way I’m deluded. When my clothes stopped being comfortable, it was pretty difficult to deny, lol.

Post # 23
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

I can’t say that I have let myself go. I had a super strict regime for 3 months before the wedding and shedded a lot of body fat but I always knew it was not a sustainable thing, I approached it like an athlete before a race. Almost a year on I am now 20 weeks pregnant so obviously heavier 😉 but before I got pregnant I was back at my pre-strict regime weight which I was happy about considing I spent 5 months out of 8 recovering from mayor surgery as well.

I still put make up on every day, dress nicely and do all the grooming in the same way I did before we got married. My DH doesn’t care if I do or not and prefer me without make up but it makes me feel good about myself to take care of myself. mind you, my look is pretty low maintanence and pretty natural anyway.

Post # 24
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I gained 20lbs after the wedding in about a year and a half. If you count the 5lbs before the wedding, then I’ve gained 25lbs since meeting DH. I don’t think I realized at first that I was “letting myself go”. I was just enjoying eating what he was eating. But eating like a man got me fat. lol So I am back on Weight Watchers.

Post # 25
Member
9120 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I did :/ I was 5’5″ 117 at my wedding (naturally small frame plus usually pretty active / healthy plus I dieted and worked out extra). Fast forward 8 months and I had gained SEVENTEEN pounds over the winter!! Ack. I’m back down 9 pounds now that I’ve gotten back to running and eating healthily, and I’m working on the rest. 

Just don’t do what I did (totally stop working out and eat whatever you want) and you’ll be fine!

Post # 26
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

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buttaflybride:  oh yes. the struggle is real. i think it was mostly wedding stress that slimmed me down and wedding bliss that has made me put on 7 pounds in the 8 weeks since our wedding. The all-inclusive honeymoon, eating and cooking full meals and preferring to have a beer with my hubbie after work rather than laying on the floor doing my workout videos or going on a run has definitely added to it. Everyday I say “today is the day- workout day” and 3/4 times I decide to hang out with the hubs instead. He gets home from work about 2 hours before me so he works out and then cooks dinner for us so I know I really need to get back into the routine. He reminds me exercise is more about health and how you feel than appearance which is motivating me to at least THINK more about working out. Ah well, seasons for everything right? Today is workout day! Maybe… 🙂

 

Post # 27
Member
18627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It didn’t happen all of a sudden because of the wedding or anything but we moved a month after getting married, I was alone most of the time while he work and traveled and yes I gained a bit of weight.

Post # 28
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oh man I got fat. Soooo fat!! Before I met DH, I was never really a girly girl, makeup and dressing up was for nights out somewhere special and I never really made any effort about my weight (never been super slim but average weight) because it just wasn’t that big a deal to me. A few pounds here and there I wouldn’t have even noticed,or really cared that much.

After meeting and marrying DH, I put a bit more effort in,makeup, dressing nice, everything buffed and polished haha. But we will have been married three years next week, and I have found that I haven’t been putting as much effort into looking nice as I should. Its always comfort over looking good. I also went through a phase of no makeup,ever because everything I used seemed to give me a bad reaction. (dry flaky skin,itchy eyes etc)

 

BUT, I recently had a big clear out of all my manky old and worn clothes, went out and bought a load of things that looked good,and after our holiday next week I am planning on making headway on the weight Ive gained. A lot of the not bothering attitude I can contribute to weight gain. I put on weight,lost self esteem, didn’t bother trying to look nice,and so because I hate the way I look, I comfort eat. Vicious cycle. 

 

Hopefully that’s all change now though!

Post # 29
Member
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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buttaflybride:  I didn’t really change a while lot leading up to or after the wedding. I think it’s important to maintain a healthy lifestyle general and I’m a complete perfectionist when it comes to hair and makeup and I loooove skincare…I don’t see that going anywhere. I actually enjoy all those things too!

After getting married I did quit my corporate job and my husband has so generously made it possible for me to freelance and set my own hours as well as work from home or wherever I want, so if anything I’ve had more time to commit to fitness, making healthy meals, and maintaining my appearance!

Personally I don’t think its fair to a partner (or even yourself, but I digress) to “let yourself go” or (especially) get lazy about your health or appearance….or any of the other things that used to be a part of who you were before marriage. Sure no one can be perfect all the time but fitness and good grooming habits were definitely important to each of us before marriage so why shouldn’t they be after? On a health related note, we both owe it to ourselves and each other to keep habits that will give us the longest and most health problem free life possible, so that’s another reason we both remain very committed to healthy living after the wedding.

Post # 30
Member
4695 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

polyblonde:  Ugh, I completely agree with you. I think you change the terms of your relationship when you put on a large amount weight or stop looking the way your SO has become accustomed to. Not to mention weight gain is not healthy and the older you get, the harder it is to lose.

View original reply
buttaflybride:  I don’t overdo it when it comes to my beauty or fitness, but I personally don’t feel comfortable stopping my personal care habits. I enjoy taking care of myself and like wearing make up. Taking care of myself (whether it be getting my nails done or putting on make up for a day of errands) is not for other people, its for me and my Fiance. I enjoy being well groomed and it makes me feel good, my Fiance loves that after 7 years I still get my nails done every two weeks, make us healthy meals everynight, and put on makeup when we go out together. He finds me attractive and thinks I’m very well pulled together, if I stopped that.. I’ve changed a part of me, which isn’t fair to do. It would be the same if he’s like.. I’m done shaving now that we’re married, I also don’t ever want to see a salad again or go for another run. Its not ok.

If anything, I could see us amping up our fitness and grooming routines in order to maintain our health and our looks for as long as possible. I don’t want to put on 20 pounds before I’m 30 and struggle to lose it while my SO grows resentful that I was so irresponsible…. Nor do I want to stop wearing makeup or caring for my skin and look like an old handbag by the time I’m 40. I want to be young, active, and healthy for as long as I can and my Fiance feels the same. Its not about impressing others, its about being happy and healthy, I want my Fiance to find me attractive and vice versa.. Where’s the romance in turning into a slob after you get married?

 

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