Hi guys! Wow, I’m all teary-eyed after reading all the beautiful stories and seeing all the beautiful pics!
My Fiance and I both identify as women, although she is, well, genderqueer is the best term we’ve been able to find. (She likes to half-joke that she’s part male.) I’m 40, and she’s five years younger. We’ve been together about 4.5 years now.
We met when we were both recovering from serious heartbreak, and so took things really slow. We began dating in May ’11, then officially became a couple in Feb. ’12. She bought a condo a few months later, and my apartment lease was up a couple of months after that, so she invited me to move in. We had the usual fights that starting to live together often brings, and both of us had baggage making things worse.
I proposed to her after one fight, about a year into living together, because I wanted her to see I wasn’t going to leave her as her ex had; I gave her my mom’s wedding band, and she accepted and gave me her class ring. But she continued to have insecurities, and during another fight I told her maybe we should just call off the engagement for now and she could let me know when she was ready for it again.
And lo and behold, we stuck through it, gradually improved our communication, fought less, life got better, and this past July she took me to a very fancy dinner and pulled out a BEAUTIFUL trillion-cut solitaire.
It is fascinating to me how much our relationship has improved since that day. I guess it must be the greater security in each other’s devotion and commitment.
We’re still trying to pick a date! We want to wait at least a year and a half, in part to have time to plan and save, and in part for other practical reasons. We want to do the ceremony outdoors in a natural setting, and the reception indoors. We’re considering renting a large house with a beautiful yard for this. But obviously, time of year is important for an outdoor ceremony. We’re in California, and an outdoor wedding we just went to in October was unbearably hot. And then there’s the date of our anniversary – it’d be nice not to have it too close to any major holidays, such as Christmas, and we both have spring birthdays.
And now that I’ve written that out, I’m thinking early November might be just the time! And hey, if it rains, that’s just good luck, right? 😉