Post # 1
Hello some body please help me sort this out any responses would be greatly appreciated. My friend just got married, from the get go her sister was supposed to be her maid of honour, she decided not to anymore, i was involved with the planing of the wedding when ever i have time i would go to the stores with her to get things for the wedding, when her sister decided not to be her maid of honour, for months i kept on asking every time we meet if she has a maid of honour and for months before the wedding she always told me no, now the wedding took place in Africa, we originally live in Montreal so we have to make that expensive trip to be at the wedding, I left Montreal on the 8th of January only to find out her has a maid of honour all this time when i looked at the program of the wedding which is this girl she considers her best friend, i really hurt over the fact that she would lie to me about not having a maid of honour for months when in fact she has one, i went to school with this girl, we graduated college together, went to the university together , moved out of state to work for 3 and half years, i have known her for ten years and lived with her for five years, when i confronted her about her lies in Africa, she told me the reason why she did not tell me is because she does not feel comfortable talking to me yet she feels comfortable making me make this expensive trip to be at her wedding , iam very hurt and i really don’t know what to do, i really would like to let go but part of me is having such a hard time that she told me such a lie, i really don’t want to act different with her, please somebody help me sort this out. any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
If,as you said, you asked her about her maid of honor for months,she may have thought you were pressuring her to choose you as the Maid/Matron of Honor and may not have had the courage to tell you she had already chosen someone else.
I think you can both share the blame equally for this unfortunate situation- her for not having the courage to be straight with you, and you for repeatedly asking her about it.
Post # 4
Are you more upset of the fact she lied to you or because she didn’t ask you to be her Maid/Matron of Honor when her sister backed out? From your comments, it seems you were there to help her a lot as a Maid/Matron of Honor would typically do and you flew to Africa for the wedding which meant a lot of time, effort, and money into attending/preparing for this wedding. Though she shouldn’t have lied to you, I think you are letting the fact she didn’t ask you to be the Maid/Matron of Honor kind of magnify the fact that she lied (wihch is never a good thing). I could be completely off base but this is just my opinion.
Post # 5
What an awful situtation for you. 🙁
If I was you, I’d take a deep breath and tell her that you were upset by her actions – but like Olive says – be clear about what you are upset about, the fact she didn’t ask you ton be her Maid/Matron of Honor or the fact she lied. Because if it is that she asked someone else to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, I think you have to just let it slide, and accept that you can’t make decisions for other people, or foresee how much people value friendships, in comparision to how you value them. However if you are not so bothered about this aspect, but more that she lied to you, then you have every right to be upset, and should tell her this.