Post # 1
I’m just so sad at this point. My fiancé shared his email password with me a few nights ago (it was a variation of my name and I thought it was cute). Well, I used it and logged in to his email. Upon doing this I found emails entitled “appeal termination.” I freaked out and went to him and asked him if he had a job. He fessed up he lost his job 3 weeks ago, but has been saying he’s been going to work so that I wouldn’t worry. He would even come over to my house late, dressed in scrubs so I would think he was working. He has been apparently applying to jobs during the times I thought he was at work.
To make it worse, he filled out am employee verification with his old works information…so if they check (which I assume they will) we have no where to live.
I’m truly heartbroken as I would have helped him though his job loss. My parents believe the wedding should be called off. I’m probably in denial…but I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Why would you call off your wedding or lose your housing because your fiancé was laid off?
Post # 4
I wonder if he gave you the password as a roundabout way of fessing up, and was too scared to tell you directly.
Post # 5
Because he lied in detail about it all. And no housing because he wouldn’t have his employment verified since he doesn’t have a job. We do not currently live together; it would be our first home.
Post # 6
@Miss Corgi: I’m so sorry. Can you explain the employee verification/how you would have nowhere to live thing? I would be so upset and hurt. He’s supposed to be your husband…even if this is information that he is extremely embarrassed about, it effects you and he needs to share it with you as well. I hope that no one comes on here and flames you for checking his email… you can’t take it back at this point and whats done is done.
I don’t know if I would call the wedding off…only you can answer that and a lot of it depends on if he has lied to you before. I would definitely read him the riot act, however. It wouldn’t be pretty.
Post # 7
@Miss Corgi: I would bet my car that he gave you the password because he didnt have the heart to tell you himself. I would absolutely not cancel the wedding, he’s probably so humiliated and scared as it is.
Post # 8
maybe not called off but postponed if his job will affect finances due to the wedding. that doesnt seem like something i would end it over.
Post # 9
I believe that he needs your support more than anything right now. Help him through this!
Get through this obstacle together. That’s what marriage is all about.
Post # 10
Sounds like he was incredibly embarrassed and simply didn’t want to disappoint you. I wouldn’t call off the wedding. I would have a heart to heart and tell him that if you are getting married he has to be able to talk with you about these things. You cannot hide such a big deal from your s/o or spouse.
Post # 11
@mixtapehearts: Because he lied to her…
I don’t think you need to call it off necessarily, but you need to have a serious talk about communication and trust. You should have been the first person he told. He needs to not hide things from you so you won’t worry, there are going to be plenty of things in your life that may upset you but you need to know about them and deal with them.
Re: the employee verification, this was to buy a house?
Post # 12
I would postpone for financial reasons and because of thr pbvious trust issues you both have with each other. I wouldn’t break up though.
Post # 13
Regardless of the situation, I think the real question is, Will you trust your husband in the future?
If not, then you should not be getting married.
Post # 14
@Miss Corgi: I don’t think he did this to hurt you. I think with the wedding and everything else coming up, he didn’t want to stress you out more or worry you and he is probably embarrassed. Don’t call off the wedding, but TALK to your Fiance and be there for him. I think there’s a bigger issue here if he felt like he couldn’t come to you with this. Be there for him, OP and let him know that you’re there for him in good and bad times.
Post # 15
@Miss Corgi: Seriously….I get being upset about it, but calling off the wedding because he was hiding the fact that he got canned from you is absurd…and why exactly are your parents aware of this situation anyway? This is something the two of you should deal with, leave your folks out of it, besides, it’s not like he was home eating macaroni, he was out trying to find another job….so maybe he was hoping it would be a non-issue and everything would work out, but since you know, and for some reason your parents know…the shit has hit the proverbial fan.
In life, and marriage, worse things are going to come along, this is a completely understandable thing, he did it to spare you the worry, probably his pride and maybe avoid your folks wrath since they seem to have a flair for the dramatic…I get that he lied, but he did it with the best of intentions.
If I were you, I’d be telling my parents to shut up unless they know someone that’s hiring
Post # 16
Employee verification was to rent. I’ll be a new grad so I’m out finding a job. He was the one an okay a steady income. We have to make 3 times the monthly rent in order to rent the apartment.