Post # 1
A little bit of backstory. My SO and I have been together a year and change. I just graduated from our university this semester, and he is all set to graduate in the spring. We are both in the process of applying for jobs and grad schools across the east coast, and I am having a hard time coping with the uncertainty that comes with changes this large. We are very serious about our relationship, and the fact that neither of us knows where we’ll be or what we’ll be doing in six months is more than a type-A, control freak like myself can handle. He promises me (bless his heart), that we will make things work and thing will fall into place, but I can’t help but want something more concrete than that. I worry that we’ll end up long distance, or that we won’t find jobs or schools that suit us well – I’ve been worrying so much that it’s driving me NUTS! Are there any other Bees out there who can relate? Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated 🙂
Post # 3
Mmm. Ok. So I am graduating in the summer but SO recently got a job a 13-14 hour flight away. He starts early next month so we are going to be LDR for a while. I will then join him, in the hope of finding something (anything) thats in or related to my field.
I think LDR is fine if there is a definite end to it, in my case we will be LDR for 4 months. Ultimately though, if you want to be together there may be comprimises in order. If one of you gets a great job the other may not, it’s up to you to decide what’s right for you. For your career and for your relationship.
Personally, I am young enough to “start again” if things go pear shaped. I am following SO overseas, and I hope that I can find a job with job satisfaction. If I can’t, it doesn’t have to be forever!
Post # 4
I am in the same situation. I just finished my master’s last semester and I am working this semester while eagerly waiting to hear from PhD programs. It is so stressful to not know where we will be living in 6 months, so I feel your pain. My SO is very supportive and willing to move, but logistically he might not be able to go when I go :(. It’s ruff, but will drive you crazy if you stress about it.
Find something to occupy yourself with until March/April when grad school decisions start coming in. Then when you know what your actual options are you can make decisions, you will still have severl month before the programs begin. For now, there is no use in adding this stress of uncertainty into the already stressful life of a student. 🙂
Post # 5
I can sympthatize. Transitioning from college to working was very hard on me. I LOVED school and the “real world” is just so incredibly different. Just try to find solice in knowing that everything will work out and you will have a lot more information in the coming months.
Post # 6
Well my Darling Husband and I have been out of school for almost two years, but my job after graduation was meant to be transitional – I’m a postbac at a lab, where I work for 2 years and build my resume, then apply to grad school. My husband also hasn’t really grown roots here because we knew we’d be moving. So we’re kind of in the same transitional phase as we wait to hear back from grad schools… I’m trying to just enjoy it and dream of all the possibilities instead of freaking out about the unknowns. This is helped a little recently, cause I got my first interview invite in Dec (eek it’s next week!) and my husband just found out a week or so ago that his aunt’s new business may have a FANTASTIC new job lined up for him that he can do remotely… so no matter where I am accepted, he will have a fulfilling and well-paying job. These things will work out! We just have to have some patience to get there.
Post # 7
Thank you guys so much for chiming in. It helps just to know that I’m not the only one in this boat/not out of my mind for being anxious about it. I think what exacerbates it the most is that I’m such a homebody, and since I was little I have always been looking forward to being settled in my life. I’ve wanted to come home to one place, to one person, from one job, every day. Boring and predictable or, as I see it, comfortable. Usually, finding someone to share that vision with is the tough part, but SO wants all this just as much as I do. I guess since that should be the hard part, it’s frustrating to me that jobs and geography are potentially ruining my peaceful, predictable life for a bit.
Life goes on though! And I’m glad I have WB to help get me through it 🙂
@gatorhailey: Where’s the interview? So exciting!!
Post # 8
@MissElizabeth: Funny, a lot of my anxiety comes from NOT being a homebody… We are just so excited to move new places and explore new areas and have adventures that I can’t wait for it to start! Just goes to show it happens to us all ;). My interview is in Baltimore and I am SO excited, it’s one of my top picks!
Post # 9
@MissElizabeth: I am so much like you. I just like stability, being in one place. Now that we live together I rarely want to get out of the home because I love it so much, it’s so peaceful at home. I’m sorry you guys are going through this. I got lucky with a SO that’s older and already settled, and he promised he would go after me wherever I went (given that I will have the higher income after I graduate… myeah i don’t really know how that worked out, lol). If it’s meant to be, it’s going to work out, LDR and everything. Good luck!
Post # 10
Pretty much every person I went to grad school with was in the position of being separated from their SO for up to 6 years (PhD degree), and the good news is, every single one of them made it work! So, even if you guys get jobs that are not right next to one another, if you’re willing to put in the work, the relationship can work!
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2012 - El Faro Convention center, Aguadilla, Puerto Rico
I’m in a similar tight spot. We both graduate college in May, but I’ve been offered an incredible job in Ohio and Mr. Boa has a job offer in Utah. He has been searching for a good opportunity closer to Ohio and we are now waiting to hear from a company he interviewed with last week. If he doesn’t recieve the offer it means either one of us has to quit or we will be in a long distance marriage for a while. Both options SUCK,so I’m really hoping he gets the job. Patience is Key! Good luck gals..
Post # 12
@MrsWrangler: That’s so awesome! I’m actually a Baltimore-Bee right now, so I hope your interview goes well! You’ll have to let us all know 🙂
This thread has definitely made me feel a little bit more at peace with ‘waiting’ for things to fall into place, here’s just hoping that grad school decisions come as fast as possible :p
@boaconstrictor: Jeez, I feel like such a baby worring about being in an LDR for a little while while you’re so calm about your situation! I hope you and Mr. Boa get the good news that you can be together in Ohio (gotta love the midwest!), and there will be no long-distance marriage for you two.
Post # 13
I graduated from college and had planned to move from Southern California to New York. My Fiance and I had been dating for about 5 months before I moved. It was really hard. We were in a long distance relationship for 2 years and 8 months! But we made it through! And now we are getting married! Long distance can be hard but it can work!
Post # 14
@MissElizabeth: Really?? if you have any tips and tricks about the city, feel free to pass em along 😉 I really hope to get in and get to explore the city. Seems like a great location to be near cool stuff to do.
And yeah, I’m relatively ok with all the waiting typically but I do hope for the swiftest decision making opportunities for both of us!
PS – I was in an LDR FL to Cali for 4 years with my husband while we were in undergrad. It’s totally doable, although it does take adjustment and sacrifice. So no matter what happens, it can work out.