(Closed) Life after MC

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 18
Member
2653 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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@graygodess20:  That should help you figure out where you’re at. 6 cycles is one too many as far as I’m concerned. Plus, this time it’s extra hard. My last cycle I was temping and it did help, even though I don’t have the best sleep. It even gave me an implantation dip. There are sites that help you convert temps based on the time. Though, it might be nice to have a break from it. Im trying to enjoy the break!!

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@bouncybee:  +1 We’re deciding what to do.

Post # 19
Member
1647 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

I miscarried three weeks ago and it has been difficult.   I only bled for a few days, although it was heavier and grosser than usual, and then we kept having sex after that.   I was 8 weeks, and my doctor never said we had to wait.    He has me on prenatals and folic acid, he did say it would be best for me to be on those for a month before getting pregnant, but he didn’t say to wait a cycle, so we haven’t.  I’m scared out of my mind to be pregnant, I’m scared to lose it, and I’m 99% sure I won’t be able to enjoy this next pregnancy for fear of losing it the whole time.   With my son, I was young and dumb, and this junk never occured to me (ok, I was 27 years old, not that young, lol).

I sill cry all the time.   We only told my fitness trainers and one friend who was supposed to make me a big brother shirt, and my cousin because she’s like my best friend.    Our parents didn’t know, and my husband’s mother, every single time we see her, finds a way to say something like ‘boy, I though you’d be pregnant by now,  you aren’t doing this properly’    She’s half joking, but it hurts so bad.    I don’t want to tell them, but at the same time I DO want to talk about it, for one, it would get her to shut the hell up.   

I counted the start of my bleeding as CD1, and I ovulated on CD 19, which is 5 days later than in a normal cycle.   I’m currently in my TWW, I’m hoping that getting pregnant soon after will help me to focus on something new, and not dwell on the loss.  I know the pain will never go away, and I don’t want to forget, but I want to move on with my life, and stop letting it consume me.   This was such a difficult time for this to happen, everyone is happy at christmas, all the family is together, all kinds of happy babies and pregnancy announcements I just wanted to claw everyone’s face off and go hide in my basement.    But I sucked it up.   My  husband is really supportive, he has never tried to make it less of a big deal than it is, and to me that is important, because I have no moral support from anyone else because they don’t know.

My reply probably doesn’t help you much, but just know that I’m in the same boat as you.    

Post # 20
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i am soooo sorry for your lose… I didn’t read everyone response but I want to answer your questions!!!! 

We didn’t wait to have sex, but we did wait to “try to concieve” I don’t know why they said six week for sex. My OB said 2 months before trying again. I

It took my body over a month for my hormones to go back down. the numbers weren’t on deep deline for a while. If i were you I would just start right away. I’m 9 months after MC and I’m still not pregnant.  NOT that it will be you but I wish I didn’t wait any time at all.  

We talked about it a lot. I was more sad than him but it also happened to my body not his. Emotionally he was hurt. I was both phycially and emotionally hurt. The worst time was when my due date came and went… that was hte hardest. UGH!! talk about pity party.. .I am sooooo open I need to talk about it to heal!!!! and even my family acts as though it neven happened which kills me!!!!

 

I never doubted wanting a family! I will keep trying until it happens!!

Post # 21
Member
3313 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When I get asked that question, I just simply tell them that I have 6 kids, but sadly none are living.  It shocks a lot of people when I say that, but I don’t say it maliciously – just factually.   Quite honestly though, if they don’t want the truth, they shouldn’t ask a question like that.  😉  

Post # 22
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. The emotional recovery was much harder than the physical for me. 

Definitely follow your doctor’s advice for sex and trying again. Dr told me to wait 2 cycles before trying again. We waited a bit longer Bc of life/job situations. We just started trying again and yes, I’m very worried about another MC.

Talking about it is a very personal decision so do what feels right to you. I told my family and most of my close friends, mostly because I really needed support during those dark days and many of my friends had been through it as well.

Hugs to you!

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