(Closed) Life, Age and Kids – what is he waiting for?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@CallMeCranky:  I would totally suspect that he is going to propose soon. It sounds like how we were before we got engaged and of course it happened right when I least expected it…

Post # 4
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

2014 is a year away. And it lasts a year. Meaning really, there is still 2 years before 2014 is over. If you both want to start TTC in 2014, there is still LOTS of time to get engaged and married.  Heck, I think even if you were to get married in a Destination Wedding in May you have quite a bit of time yet. 

I can’t tell you what he is waiting for but it sounds like you are both on the same page? Do you not think he wants to marry you (from what you have said, it sounds like he does). From your talks has he said it is important for him to propose? What about if you just asked him? Does he know you want some time to plan?

Honestly, it sounds to me like he is planning on proposing pretty soon. I am not a psychic though of course. 


Post # 5
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Based on everything you’ve written, it certainly seems as if a proposal likely will be forthcoming, unless your SO is not being honest with you.  Unless you suspect that to be the case based upon his integrity and honesty with you in other areas of your lives, I would presume that his timeframe is consistent with what you both have discussed.

Have you explained to him how much lead time you would prefer to have between a proposal and a wedding?  This may be the only variable where his thoughts and yours  may not be aligned. (For example, unless he knows how long it may take to plan the wedding you both want to have at your choice of venue and preferred season, month, and/or day of the week, he could be presuming that he could propose four or five months prior to the when he envisions you getting married. Although couples certainly can — and have — planned weddings in even shorter timeframes, the options may be more limited as a result.)

Post # 6
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You need to have more open discussion. Keep it light, but honest. See if he is open to a time line. Sometimes I think guys just get comfy and forget about this stuff. Let him see how happy and enthusiastic you are about it all and it should motivate him to get out there and ring shop etc. Let him know you are beyond ready! Act like playfully impatient. Like a kid wanting to open present, but don’t pressure him. Good luck. Well that’s what worked for me anyway!

Post # 7
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@whitefuzzy:  +1

I agree with the calm and rational discussion. Just see if he has a reason for not proposing yet. It could be that he has a plan in mind and doesn’t want to spoil it.

What worked for me and my boyfriend was this: we went to pickup my first car together right before Thanksgiving and, because we were both nervous and second guessing my decision, we wound up really emotional. Long story short, during the car ride he and I fleshed out a 5 year plan that works for both of us. I have my fingers crossed that it works out, but if we have to make adjustments that’s ok too.

Just talk to him and see what happens. Good luck!

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