- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2017
So I may or may not get flamed for this. But I don’t care.
I am 29 years old. I have one son who is 9. He attends private school, is involved in baseball, basketball and football. he plays piano and is learning guitar. Im on the parent committee both for his class and for our neighborhood little league association. We attend church most sundays. I do all homework with him, we read for 30 minutes every night (either he reads or I read, we take turns). We go on regular outings together, museums, the zoo, the beach, the movies, out to lunch together, etc. I do all the regular mommy things like laundry, fix up wounds, make his meals, take him to all doctor\dentist appointments regularly, make sure his hair is cut and his clothes fit, etc. The bottom line is, im a good, dare I say, great mom. Im very very involved in all aspects of his life (as i should be) and we have a great relationship. He gets straight A’s and is a pretty well rounded kid. He’s respectful and smart and is just a great boy all around.
The point of this post is that Im so sick of people making judgements about me because I do things for myself as an adult. I still go out on saturday nights if my schedule allows. My mother loves having my son for a night so it works out for both of us if I do decide to go out and enjoy myself. I vacation with my son and without him from time to time. I still spend adult time with my sister and my close friends. I still shop for myself and enjoy my life as an adult. Im still a woman. Im a daughter, a sister, a friend, and my life took on a new role when I had my son. That doesn’t mean the rest of me somehow died.
I recently had a not so close friend of mine comment on one of my photos on facebook basically telling me I should focus more on being a mom instead of “girls night”. Keep in mind all of my activities with my son and family are also well documented on their so it’s not as if this person shouldn’t be somewhat aware of the other aspects of my life. Why is it that if I enjoy a few drinks on a saturday, spend a day shopping with just my sister, meet a friend for lunch, go to a concert with a group of friends, and generally still enjoy my adult life then somehow this means I’m not a good mother because I’m not constantly home doing “mom things”. I DO spend majority of my time doing mom things, or work things, but I find time to do all the other stuff too. This comment really just irriated the crap out of me. Im so sick of all the posts complaining about being a mom and how much work it is and how there’s never any time for anything else and saying things like “I wish I could take a vacation alone!” or “I wish I had time for girls lunches still” . If you want to do those things, even as a mom, THEN DO THEM if you can. Life changes when you have a kid, it doesn’t end.
Yes my son comes first, his needs and his happiness come before my own. But there’s no reason I can’t have a good balance in my life, and I think I do. I realize I am lucky in that I have close family that likes to see my son often so it’s not difficult for me to find someone to watch him should I want some time to myself. I spent a lot of time with my grandma as a kid and my son has a similar relationship with his grandma. Maybe that’s why it’s not so unusual to me that my son sees her like every other weekend. Sometimes with me there for just a visit and sometimes for an overnight visit with just him. Just depends.
I don’t know what I’m looking for here, I think it’s just me venting because I think that comment was so off base given how my life actually goes. I know I know… it’s facebook… she’s no one to me so why is she even on my page or voicing her opinion on my life choices… blah blah. I get it. I do. But it still bothered me! those close to me definitely commented and shut that girl up real quick before I could even respond. So i know that that’s not the general opinion of me. But even so…. it was just a really irritating comment.
Rant over. And thanks for reading if you made it through my rambling…