(Closed) Life is rough….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

I understand where you’re coming from! While my Fiance and I don’t have a child, I recently quit my full time job to go back to study full time, so there’s basically no income from me. It’s definitely a big change in lifestyle. Is there a possibility of you defferring your studies for 6 months or a year just to keep yourselves on track? Or perhaps getting a casual job to fit in around your studying and mum-duties? Just be very careful to try not let the financial situation eat away at you so much it affects your relationship with your Fiance – so, so, so many relationships fall apart because of money. Just keep being proud of what you have accomplished for far! This will only be a bump in the road – your Fiance WILL get work again, and you WILL be fine 🙂 even if it means not getting as many nice things right now for your daughter as you would like. She probably won’t even notice being so young, but she will notice tensions between you and your Fiance. But you will be past it all and be even stronger because of it!

Post # 4
Hostess
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Is it possible to take a part time job to supplement your income?

I know times look rough, I think just about everyone has been through a rough patch, but just remember things have to get worse in order for them to get better.

Is your fiance actively looking for a job? One of you may have to lower your standards and go into retail or food to find a job quickly, but if you need money that badly.. sometimes that’s what you have to do – at least until you find something better.

Post # 5
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@Marylove_xo: How far into your nursing program are you? I think if you’re getting by on his unemployment benefits right now and he’s doing what he needs to do to get a new job, the best thing to do is be patient. Your daughter will be going to school soon which will free up a good chunk of your time. You can look into getting a part time job to supplement your income while you’re in schooll. To put it blunty, I think it’s short-sighted to drop out of school when things may change in your near future. Stick with it! You’ll be much better off if you scrape by now to reap the rewards of your education later.

Post # 6
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

Assuming you are doing decently, you sound like a prime candidate for a scholarship. When I was looking around, I saw so many specifically for women and mothers. Some can only be applied for tuition, but some can be used to cover anything, including housing and general expenses. Maybe you can find a paying internship or do a work study program. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you two, so congratulations on making it this far.

Post # 7
Member
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Marylove_xo:  It sounds like you need to take a deep breath, and try and get some perspective. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job as a mom, and you’re with the man you love. These are all really great things, and the foundations to building the life you want. Life is hard in the sense that sometimes, you feel like you’re going on step forward and two steps back. But the important thing is that you are progressing, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel that way. You have to try and look at the big picture, and put in place goals that are longer-term.

My parents split up when I was a toddler, and then soon after that my mom moved overseas with me alone. We had my grandparents for support, but I was largely raised in a single parent household. My mom worked full-time, and was studying English at the same time. And honestly, when I look back to my childhood, I don’t remember the things I didn’t have. I only remember how much my mom loved me, the way she strived to give me all the opportunities she could. And along the way, she taught me to aim high and work hard to achieve my own dreams. I ended up getting scholarships to some very good schools, and then the best law school in the country. I don’t think I would have had the drive and determination I did if I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth. For me good parenting is about setting a good example for your kids, being the kind of person and embodying the values you want them to develop. It’s not about being able to give them all the materialistic possessions they want.

It sounds like you guys did such a brave thing as teen parents, and you’ve already made it SO far. The current world economy is not an easy place for young people, especially ones with families. Stick with your education and try and grasp the opportunities as they come along. But in the meantime, appreciate and be proud of how far you’ve come already.

Post # 8
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee

@Marylove_xo:  I would try as hard as possible not to drop out! It may help in the short-term, but in the long-term it will be so much better to be able to have a good nursing job. Definitely look into scholarships and grants, some will even help with living expenses. Good luck to you!

Post # 9
Member
7490 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You can do it- don’t get discouraged!

Post # 10
Member
1655 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I do full-time school and a part-time job. But I don’t have a child so I think you wouldn’t be able to do that. I literally get one off day a week from school and work, and barely any time on any other day to do anything other than school work. 

I say that you should try and stick it out, but when the finances get tough to the point you can’t provide for your child anymore, you should maybe switch to part time school and get a part time job.

Post # 11
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am a former welfare mother and for several years it was very hard as my daughter had severe lifelong medical problems, so I do indeed know what it is like to worry about money. Stay in school, even if you have to take a PT job. It will be worth it! I went back to college and luckily earned good enough grades for scholarships. I am now a biologist and college professor. I am not rich, but we are much more comfortable.

TIME and love are the best things you can give to your child. Yes, you are busy, but she will remember the quality times you spend together much more than any material possessions.

During my “poor days”, we relied on food banks. Salvation Army for clothes and household supplies and Toys for Tots for Christmas gifts. We found many free or low-cost ways to have fun. The point is that while things look tough now, things do and will change. Hang in there!

Post # 15
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

@Marylove_xo:  Some scholarships are for single moms or working moms only. Some have limits on age or income, or are for mothers of twins or other very specific details. I did a Google search for “scholarships for mothers” and got a lot of hits. Deadlines are different for every scholarship but you might still be in time to get some money for the fall. You’ll probably have to write an essay about your experience and why you are deserving. The fact that you were teen parents says a lot about your dedication and how hard you are willing to work, which makes you look like a great investment for someone wanting to give a scholarship. Good luck!

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