- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Just to preface, I really just need to rant, there’s a bunch of things that have been bugging me lately and I need to get it all out…
I guess it all starts a year and a half ago when I first met Fiance. I was depressed and he quickly became my best friend. I was seeing someone else at the time and it took me a while to realize FI was serious but I eventually realized he wasn’t just “another guy” so I broke it off with the ex.
It was a whirlwind courtship (we met dec.’08, started officially going out April’09 I was graduating and moving back west in May’09) While we only became official april 5th, we spent almost every day together since Jan. Everything was great, we went to Florida in April and then drove across the county together in May. He stayed out for two weeks then went back for a month before moving out himself.
Things were great, for a while… We moved in together in August. Since he was just starting working he asked if I could cover rent until September then he would pay for the whole month. This was supposed to be temporary… he still hasn’t paid a cent in rent money. Shortly after he started working at the job he had transferred to he quit becuase he didn’t like the people there. My dad gave him a job drilling but it’s seasonal. I tried to get him to look for another job while he was doing drilling, but he refused to.
Drilling stopped in November and he was going back home over Christmas to spend time with his parents (only child) so he said it wasn’t worthwhile looking for a job then since he couldn’t start for three weeks (we had decided long before that a trip to Mexico would be our Christmas presents for each other, and it was on this trip he proposed) So I let it slide till we got back. Since he wasn’t working, I paid for the whole trip and he was supposed to pay his half when he started working. When we got back it still took him over three weeks to start applying for jobs.
Since he’s been applying for jobs, he hasn’t been able to get one. He refuses to do sales and says labour jobs are “below him” since “he put in his time at university and deserves a better job” It drives me up the wall that he won’t take on a menial job while continuing to look for a better one since our bills are piling up. Not only is he home all day while I’m working, he spends his time playing video games (with brief breaks to apply for jobs) and then gets frustrated with ME when the house isn’t clean.
From my side, it’s compounded by the fact that I work full time for a new family business that is struggling due to the economy, so not only am I supporting both of us people, but I haven’t gotten paid in two months.
Not only does planning a wedding seem impossible right now, I’m starting to wonder if that’s what I really want anymore.
Fiance is trying now to get a job he finds acceptable, and has begun entertaining the idea of taking a job that is “below him” so he can pay his bills. He has had some bad breaks in interviews, but it just blows me away that he’s only been able to get two in the past three months. I’ve been through his resume and there’s no reason he shouldn’t be getting calls, but he isn’t.
What really bugs me is that being engaged is supposed to be the happiest time of your life, and the past couple months have been hell… for both of us. I know bad times come to everyone, but why does this have to happen now? We’ve made it through five months of this but I don’t know how much more we can take.
Anyway what it all comes down to is life just sucks right now and there’s not much I can do about it (though I have been tempted some days to get on the highway and just keep going) I don’t know what to do… there’s gotta be a breaking point somewhere and I’m worried it’s coming soon.
Thanks to anyone who read all the way through, I really just needed to get this all out (somewhat anonymously) to get it off my chest.