Post # 1
I just need to talk to someone about all of this but I don’t know who at this point. We’re gettng marriend in September and we just recently moved into an apartment together. My contract for my job is going to be up in August but FI just recently found a decent paying job. Recently we found out his father has two types of cancer and it’s spreading. He has started chemo but things seem to be getting worse. The issue is that we live 6 hours away from his father so we don’t get to see him that often, so we’ve been talking about moving to be closer to his father and FI working for his father and possibly living with his brother and neice.
Honestly I don’t know if we should. We’ll possibly have to break our lease, he’ll take a huge paycut, and I’ll be out of a job for a while. I don’t know what to think or do right now. I know that no one can make the decision for us or give us any answers I’m just freaking myself out over this. He’s going to ask his parents today to get their opinions and his brother has already offered for us to move in with him or for the 3 (and a half if you include his 3 year-old) to find a house together until we figure things out.
Right now is one of those times where you jsut want a sign or someone else to make the decision for you…
Sorry just really needed to vent.
Post # 3
I’m really sorry to hear about your FIL, my FIL passed away from cancer recently and it’s a horrible thing to go through.
It sounds like your MIL and FIL have plenty of support close by, but you and your FI need to do what’s best for you both. We moved in with my MIL and FIL to take care of FIL, and I won’t lie it was really, really tough. My FI didn’t want to move in with them but I insisted as I knew he would regret not being there afterwards if we didn’t. The other day he said to me that as tough as it was, he was really glad I insisted. Our scenario was a bit different though as MIL is disabled, so she needed looking after too.
If you don’t move down there with them, perhaps you could phone them several times a week to check they’re ok and see if they need anything? Then you could go and see them as and when you are needed?
Do feel that you can take some time to make a decision though, even if it’s just a week to have a good think about it and discuss it. I would be inclined to let your FI decide what to do as it’s his father, but I empathise completely, it’s a really difficult situation to be in.
Sending big hugs and sorry I’m not more help x
Post # 4
I am so sorry you are going through this.
Would it be possibly for your FI to take a leave from work to maybe make travelling back and forth easier? That way you could remain in your position until the contract is up?
I’m sorry I am not more helpful! I agree with PP, they do seem like they have support near by which is great.
Post # 5
@PinkChampagneAndPeonies: They do have a lot of support but part of it is my FI wants to be able to be there to spend time with his dad.
@FutureMsVW: We are going to wait at least until my contract is up but we have talked about him taking some time and going up there to get everything situated while I stayed here at least until the wedding but we’ll see what actually happens.