- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
My boyfriend and I have discussed how long of an engagement I would want (this past week), assuming that I don’t want to be married until after I graduate. I will graduate in either a year and a half, or two years from now (depending on when I will be able to complete my in-school PCE tasks, and my student teaching). I won’t really know the status of my graduation date until around next August/September. I have told him that I want a 6 month-1 year engagement (because I can’t deal with any potential family drama any longer than this…long stories).
I recently began on an emotionally healing journey, working with a psychologist, sleep doctor and my PCP, taking new medications, and trying to implement strategies to overcome my past and to fix my present issues. My psychologist has advised us to not get engaged until I have worked through these issues. I am not sure how long this is going to take. My boyfriend knows this, and is supportive of my recovery.
Now, I am not sure what our timeline is, or even if we really have one anymore, with so many factors up in the air. We have also discussed that he does not want me to have to plan while I am in school still (he does want to impose any extra stress on me). I have let him know that it will be tough to plan a wedding weather it is in my last year of school (PCE and Student Teaching), my first year of teaching, or my second (if I am not continually contracted for the following year). I don’t want to delay taking the next step in our relationship due to imperfect timing, but I know that there are so many factors that could make wedding planning a nightmare for us with everything else going on, and that will continue to go on in our lives.
There are other things too, like the probability of our rent increasing next year, and our need to find either a new apartment, townhome, or house to move into. I know that we would both prefer to move into a townhouse or a house, but that we want to put a large downpayment on such so that we have a lower monthly morgage payment. Psying for a wedding at that point would not be practical, given how much we would want to put down as a downpayment.
Despite all of this, I feel horribly because I can’t seem to stop pinning wedding ideas to my pintrest (as a secret board). We still talk about our wedding and what we would and would not want, but I still feel “guilty” planning in secret atm.