(Closed) Lights ON or OFF during *ya know*

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 47
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I say if its your first time do whatever makes you most comfortable. You can do all sorts of lights on and off combinations in the future 🙂

Post # 48
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

lights off, always for us. but… tv, on!

Post # 49
361 posts
Helper bee

I’m with the group that doesn’t care. My man loves me, and thinks I’m sexy, so my body image issues don’t have a chance to creep in. I mean, how can they when it’s obvious how much he enjoys seeing me, right? He prefers lights on so he can see me. 

For a first time, I agree with soft lighting. But NOT a tv. I mean, who wants to be getting into that groove and hear “coming up next on the news at 10….” if you’re worried about noise (cause sometimes there’s noise) music will help with that. 

Post # 50
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

okay, having the TV on – not romantic at all. Have it off, and have some lighting, and focus on eachother. I realize this is your first time him seeing you naked, but what a special thing that you have been saving yourself for him, i dont know what you look like, but rock your nakedness, girl!! Im sure he is DYYYYING to see you naked, so be confident. He loves you, and I am sure he will love seeing you, and being naked with you.

I have my body issues sometimes too, but really, I feel most beautiful when naked with Fiance. The way he looks at me and touches me and what he says. Its awesome. Have fun!!!! 🙂

Post # 51
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My first time (which was with my husband, then BF) was lights off, candles lit – he did a whole little set up w/ music and flowers.

But now, its mostly lights off – or if its not at night, we always get a good amount of natural sunlight so its as if lights are on.

Post # 52
3066 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Lights off, not going to lie but I am a little self conscious

Post # 53
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Lights on! We’ve tried lights off once or twice and it’s just awkward because you can’t see. You could do dim lighting or candles to set the mood or if you feel weird about the naked thing. Truthfully though, you should be comfortable with your nakedness, especially with your significant other.

Post # 54
1398 posts
Bumble bee

If the lights are on at the time, then we keep them on.  If they are off, we keep them off.  I never really think about it.

Post # 55
15 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

Our first time (my first ever not his) the lights weren’t on but the tv was and it was daylight so they might as well have been on. In fact “Ace Ventura Pet Detective” was on. Now everytime some one says alrighty then i smile. haha

Post # 56
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

It was still daylight on our honeymoon so lights on it was.. lol

Truth is though even with the lights off he’s still gonna see you…

We do both… lights off isn’t boring. You can still see.. but there’s just something about it that is really nice & hott sometimes…

just like having the lights on…. I say mix it up and just get comfortable with each other 😉

just a tip… open communication = good sex life.

Just love each other and create an safe secure place within your relationship that your individual wants and desires can be put out there and accepted.. maybe not always done but that you two can atleast “go there” with each other =)

congrats on keeping that “v card” and congrats to getting married soon to cash it in! =D

Post # 57
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

DH and I have only had sex twice with the lights off…within the past few weeks. Just never occured to me to turn them off. It’s either during the day with the curtains open (second story bedroom, no peepers), or there’s a lamp on. I gotta say, maybe it was just the novelty of it being pitch black, but it was super hot (@AliceandtheOwl:   definitely agree about heightening other senses). 

But for your first time, I’d really advise against it. I think it’s important to see what you’re doing. And it’s a big moment for you. I love seeing the look DH’s face when he first enters me. Not to get all sappy, but the look of utter bliss on his face is really special to me.

Harsh, overhead light is unsexy, but if there’s a lamp in the room, I’d leave that on. Or sometimes I throw a pink or red scarf over my lamp (as long as it’s not directly on the bulb, and you don’t leave it on that long).  

Post # 58
3343 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Me: lights off or very dim

Him: lights on, but usually settles for dimmed lights

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