Post # 1
There was a post today about how to address invitations to a married couple and include the wife’s name. The reponses made me realize that a lot of Bees have strong feelings on how a married woman is addressed.
Some like to be called Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast. Other find it sexist and outdated. Maybe some don’t mind it, but aren’t thrilled about it either.
So, I thought I’d ask. How do you feel (or will you feel when you are married if you aren’t yet) about being called Mrs. Hisfirst Histlast? Do you love it? Hate it? Do you accept it as “correct” even if you don’t personally like it? Do you think it’s outdated and irrelevant? Do you assume a person named Mrs. Jane Smith is a divorcee?
Personally, I love to be addressed as Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast or as Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast. Maybe its a newlywed thing. I’ve never felt that I was slighted by it in any way….though I can certainly see why some Bees feel that way.
Post # 3
Hate it, and it is one of the few things that I wouldn’t just blow off either. I would pick up the phone and ask the person who addressed me that way not to do that again.
Post # 4
I like it and it is my title to be called Mrs Hisfirstname Hislastname not his. You are not losing your first name your title is changing. The title of Mrs. your first name his last name is usually reserved for women who are divorced and want to continue using their married name. Of course if you don’t like it you can simply keep your own name.
Post # 5
I Love It! I can’t wait until the first time I’m annouced as Mr. and Mrs. His Name – it’s one of the things I’m looking most forward to at the wedding!
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
It doesn’t bother me, mainly because I know that it’s just how it used to be done. I would know that the person who addressed it didn’t mean any harm by it, it’s just kind of the customary way to do it. It’s definitely not how I would prefer to be addressed, but I don’t think it’s a huge deal.
Post # 7
I hate it. I will definitely be one to correct people!
Post # 8
I hate it. We met with our commisioner on the weekend and she asked how we want to be presented after the wedding. My FI said “How about Mr. & Mrs. hisfirstname hislastname”. I told him there is no way in hell we’re getting introduced that way and I will continue using my first name after we’re married. He thought about it then agreed. If someone called MRs.me hisfirst hislast I would probably correct them.
Post # 9
I can’t wait! I feel like eveytime somone calls us that it will just remind me how spiritually bonded we are and how much I love him. I mean why do men get down on one knee, we wear rings, or do any of the other wedding stuff we do? Because it is tradition and traditions are nice to keep.
Post # 10
I can’t wait to be called that–I’m so excited to change my name and start using my married name!
Post # 11
I would correct people, depending on who it is. If it’s someone’s grandmother, I’ll let it go. If it’s someone in my peer group, I’d probably correct them.
Hardly anyone in my family or social group follows customs like these, though, so it doesn’t really come up. Lucky me. 🙂
Post # 12
It happens to me sometimes… it doesn’t bug me when people adress me as Mrs. S but when they call me Mrs. R.S. it really bothers me. Hello, can you at least adress me by my first name?! lol
Post # 13
@punky_brewster: You know, that is interesting that your officiant asked you. I had a city hall wedding and they pretty much have one ceremony – take it or leave it. At the end, the mayor said, “I now have the pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast.” He never asked if we were ok with that or not. I wonder how often the bride ISN”T ok with it…and lets him know it!
Post # 14
I would be one correcting people. Esp. since I will be keeping my own last name.
Post # 15
I’ve never been a fan, but I can tolerate it. As it is, I’m a doctor AND I’m keeping my last name for professional reasons, so I suspect my grandmother is the only one who MIGHT call me Mrs. FI….my family will be excited that I’m married, but they are also proud of my professional title, so I think the professional title will win. We’ll see….
Post # 16
I’d prefer to have my first name mentioned, since I’m already taking HIS last name!