(Closed) Like to be called Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast? Or does that rub you the wrong way?

posted 10 years ago in Names
  • poll: How do you feel about being addressed as Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast (or Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast)?

    I HATE it. It is an outdated, sexist custom.

    I don't like it much, but I realize a lot of people still use it and I can deal with it.

    I'm OK with it. It's just the custom and still consdered the technically correct form of address.

    I LOVE it. I love when I get mail addressed like that!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    5920 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I like it 🙂

    Post # 33
    Member
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

     I HATE it. I will deff be correcting people if they call me that! It took me a LONG time to decide i would even take is last name

    Post # 34
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    HATE it, I have my own name thankyouverymuch!

    I also hate “the wife”…I’m not an object, I’m a person!

    Post # 35
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    In my point of view I don’t see anything wrong… But thats just how I feel because my husband considers me hisfirst and hislast and that goes vise versa… But again I say thats just me…. Mrs.LusterCool 

    Post # 36
    Member
    2206 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    View original reply
    @serasvictoria: You mean if someone said, “this X’s wife, Y?” Or if they only called me X’s wife?

    The first doesn’t bug me at all because it is a description of our relationship to eachother, and isn’t sexist or demeaning. Someone could also say “this is Y’s husband, X.” Or, “this is J’s friend, Y” or “this is my colleague, P.”

    If I was introduced simply as my FH’s wife, with no name, or if someone introduced us together (who knew my name) as “this is X and his wife” without my name, yeah, that would be pretty annoying. Hasn’t happened to me yet, and it never happened to me as his fiance or girlfriend.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2475 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    View original reply
    @serasvictoria: If people are introducing me as “John’s wife”, I would expect them to include my first name (ie “this is John’s wife Jane”)… unless it’s the first time they’re meeting me, then I will fill in the blank for them. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    4479 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    I don’t mind being addressed as Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast if we’re being addressed *together* (i.e., Dr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast) on an invitation, but if someone was calling me, by myself, Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, I’d be annoyed.

    Post # 39
    Member
    2475 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Just out of curiosity, what happens if the woman is the doctor in a marriage?  Would calling someone “Dr. Jane Smith” mean she’s a divorced female doctor still carrying her ex-husband’s last name?? 

    Post # 40
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee

    I am not changing my name so I will never use it. But i don’t like it at all-it seems to imply that the woman’s most important role is “wife.”

    Post # 42
    Member
    1568 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1996

    Someone once told me they wrote it into their contract with their DJ that they’d be owed a full refund if he announced them as “Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst HisLast.” We didn’t go that far, but I did make it very clear to our pastor. We love him, and I knew again he was a great choice when he didn’t bat an eye and said “You can be whatever name you want to be.”

    Post # 43
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I HATE IT!

    I am taking his family name to become OUR family name (aka his last name) but I AM NOT changing my first name!!!! And don’t want to be referred to as my husbands Mrs.!

    To me it is equivalent of someone calling me “the wife”. I am not THE wife I am his wife. I am not his property and never will be!

    Post # 44
    Member
    1774 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Hate it.  I am a physician, and go by MyFirst MyLAst HisLast, so Mrs. HisFirst Hislast is wrong on so many levels.

    Post # 45
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    When it’s something like a formal wedding invitation I understand that it’s the formality.  In fact, I kinda like stuff to Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast.  But mail to just Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast makes me mad…  I got married, I didn’t lose my first name!

    Post # 46
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Ew.  No, just no.  I will never be called that if I have any say in the matter.  I have my own first name and identity outside of my future husband, thanks.

    The topic ‘Like to be called Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast? Or does that rub you the wrong way?’ is closed to new replies.

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