Post # 1
Just wanted to hear people’s thoughts on being in a relationship with someone who likes celebrities or models bikini, or blatantly sexual Instagram posts. I know this topic has been discussed before and there are a few online articles about it. None of those articles really address my issue with it though.
My issue is this; on Facebook we like posts and photos knowing those posts will then show up in our friends feeds so we like them to share them as much as to show support to the post. By support I mean I like a post if it’s a friends post, or an article on an issue I believe in etc. instagram is different. Liking a photo on Instagram doesn’t “help” share it with your other Instagram friends. It doesn’t add it to other friends feeds. Liking a photo of a celebrity or model doesn’t really have a purpose.
So, here is what I want to discuss. If a guy in a relationship sees a celebrity or model photo on Instagram and he is attracted to her, ok cool I get that people are still attracted to other people. But to then like that photo? Why? To me if feels like one step too far. I logically know that my like on a celeb or models account means nothing to that celeb or model, I also know liking it doesn’t “share” it. So it feels unnecessary to like it.
What is the intent there? Does the guy actually think the celeb or model will notice their like and dm them? Because there seems no actual benefit for a guy liking a sexy photo, why do they do it? To me it feels deeply disrespectful to the person the guy is in a relationship with. I’m fine with them watching porn on their own time etc. but I don’t want to know about it or see it. If a boyfriend of mine liked one of those photos I’d be upset because ok fine they find her attractive but why advertise that fact?
I’ve also noticed that when I go look on a celeb’s insta account, not all her photos are liked, it’s ONLY the sexy ones. So it’s not even liking a project they are working on, or appreciating a cool gown or outfit or event. It’s simply about liking sexy bikini pics.
To be clear I have never felt the need to like male celebrity photos or shirtless photos. I am well aware my like doesn’t make any difference to that celebrity so I don’t feel the need to like it. I o my like photos of friends and family to show support. I also wanted to mention, I still think it’s disrespectful for a boyfriend to do this, even if the relationship is healthy, and there isn’t any actual reason for distrust anywhere. I still find it annoying/ rude regardless. I’m also aware this isn’t a hill to die on kind of issue, I most likely wouldn’t bring it up to a boyfriend who was doing it, but wanted to discuss it anyways.
Post # 2
I never would have thought about my “like” leading to more shares or awareness or whatever, I literally press like when I enjoy a photo or video or post, I follow a possum and like his photos daily. I think you’re over thinking the reason behind a like, in general.
I would bet most men don’t like a photo of a hot girl thinking it’ll get them a DM or whatever
But if my husband were “liking” a bunch of women’s photos I would probably be annoyed, luckily he doesn’t do this.
Post # 3
I follow a cosplay model on Instagram who posts sexy photos that I frequently like. It would be a total double standard if I got upset with my husband for doing the same thing. He doesn’t use social media at all though so it’s never even come up.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey
It’d bother me if my partner kept liking some random chicks’ pics, but my fiance hasn’t an IG account or anything of that sort. It’s the same if I liked all those men on IG too. That time could be better spent imo.
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
I don’t think a like would bother me. My D.H doesn’t have Instagram but my friend’s D.H tags his friends in photos of swimwear models etc and that would bother me. My friend doesn’t care though.
Post # 7
I couldn’t care less what my fiancé likes on instagram, it’s just to show appreciation of what you think is a good picture. I like celebrities half naked pics all the time and so does she, I’m not trying to do anything other than show that I think it’s a good photo, it’s not that deep tbh and seems like something incredibly small to be insecure or annoyed about.
Post # 8
it wouldnt be a problem for me
1) i dont have an ig but my husband does
2)i have a fb but he doesnt
im sure if i were to look i would find something that would bother me so its best if i stay out of it. im naturally jealous and he knows this so i try my best to keep the green eyed monster at bay because most of the time its my mind against me.
Post # 9
I don’t think, like a lot of things in a relationship, there is a clear answer about whether it is disrespectful/rude or not, it just depends on how both people in each relationship feel about it. Personally I don’t like that kind of stuff. I’m 25f and my SO is 24m. For me I never checked if he was liking photos but I expressed my distaste in Instagram and what it’s mostly used for and when random girls would DM him it would annoy me so he just got rid of Instagram. It’s just a platform for attention so what’s the point? Neither of us need outside validation about what we look like or the things we do so we don’t post on it and why would we bother liking random sexy pics, the whole concept of social media and following random people is a waste of time so we just don’t do it. Other people really enjoy using social media and looking at what other people do and what other people look like and don’t care about what’s liked etc.. to them it’s not rude.
Its all just personal taste, personal enjoyment and comfort levels there isn’t really a clear answer. Our feelings about social media match, neither of us feel the need to use it or like other people’s pictures because it feels unnecessary so in our relationship we don’t do that. If my SO loved being on social media though I wouldn’t care about what he liked. I wouldn’t like it if he ever responded to random messages but that’s because it involves human interaction and liking something is very disconnected.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s necessary to “up vote” them lol. But whatev.
Having said that… my fh once liked an intentionally slutty pic of his friends (young woman) daughter she had posted on fb.
(Tight dress so short the bottom of her buttcheeks were hanging out the bottom, on first look looked like just a small shirt worn without panties)
I was mortified and embarrassed. When I explained it made him look like an old perv He was also embarrassed. He unliked it and liked an appropriate pic instead.
I totally know it wasn’t his intention he just mindlessly “likes” everything in the feed when scrolling through. Doh. And she is my daughter’s age. So it depends on the context for sure!
Post # 11
In my relationship this is not something that would bother me at all.
Post # 12
I think you’re going to get mixed reviews here, but here’s my two cents. It doesn’t bother me, but I do see it as disrespectful (even unintentionally).
My ex had a huge crush on Mila Kunis, and was an “ass man”. On Facebook he would frequently “like” photos of Mila Kunis and he followed this “Girls In Yoga Pants” page and would often “like” the photos from that. It didn’t bother me though because I would often “like” sexy shirtless pictures of Gerard Butler or some male model’s page. It was just something we did in our relationship that didn’t even cross my mind as something that would upset me.
But with my now husband, I do realize in a way it is disrespectful to your significant other… so we don’t do that. I also feel it kind of sends the message to other people of “Yeah I’m in a committed relationship, but so everyone knows I’m also checking out other people, too”.
Of course we ALL are human and we ALL find other people attractive, but I think it’s the whole.. announcing it by “liking” it is what I find to be disrespectful. You can look, but you don’t need to show everyone else that you’re looking.. if that makes sense?
Post # 13
You described the issue I have with it way better than I did!! I agree, people are attracted to others and that’s totally ok, but do it in private. Porn? Fine! Do I wanna know anything about when/ what my boyfriend looks at? NOPE!
I love how you said, “you can look but you don’t need to show everyone else your looking” perfectly said. Social media unfortunately leaves a very obvious trail, it would be great to know everyone can’t see your boyfriend liking a butt photo lol.
I also find this argument interesting. It’s kind of a chicken and egg issue. Why be bothered about a like on a photo that means nothing? Ok so if it means nothing than why like it?
Post # 14
I follow an IG page called Boys with Plants and it is entirely artfully sexy photos of men posing, often nude, with interesting plants. I just asked D H if he found this offensive and we talked about how admiring the human form is a simply part of being human, regardless of relationship status and to claim you no longer admire other humans because you are in a relationship is unrealistic. So, no, neither of us perceive the liking of photos as disrespectful to our relationship. But, as usual on the Bee, our boundaries are faaaaaar beyond what many others on her have set for their own marriages. To each their own.
Post # 15
It wouldn’t bother me. I don’t even pay attention to what posts my husband or anyone else likes on social media anyway.