(Closed) Limiting children at the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@jesses.girl:  It might definitely ruffle some feathers, but most people can understand having only children of family or wedding party there.

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Let’s say you had children and someone said “please don’t bring them” then you show up and there are at least 20 children there. Would you be offended?

In my opinion it’s all or none. 

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

If you limit child guests, it’s best to do it across the board. Like KatyElle suggested- just family children/wedding party seems to most acceptable. If you cherry pick, be prepared that some will get upset- this is a really sensitive issue for some. 

Post # 6
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think these things go over best when you make a clear rule and apply it fairly to everyone.  For that, I think its going to need to be family/wedding party only, no kids, or everyone gets to bring kids.  

Post # 7
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The only children allowed or invited to our wedding are my niece and nephew who will be the ring bearer and flower girl and I’m sure people will understand that. The majority of our friends who have children (only a few people) want to come out and drink and party and have a good time, minus their kids. Now, of course, I can’t help the a** holes whose kids aren’t invited and they bring them anyway potentially leading other people to be offended that their kids weren’t allowed to come. Not my problem. 

 

Post # 8
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m struggling with this too. I have friends who I see regularly whose children I see regularly, I would love to have them at my wedding (along with all my family’s children, and bridal party’s children) and then we’re inviting some people we don’t see regularly and don’t really know their kids… I would like to not invite their kids… but then the line is, “we like the other people’s kids…” Yeah that’s bad… I wish it were easier and I feel your pain!

Post # 9
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

the only kids i’m having at our wedding are my niece and nephew, simply because….. they are in foster care, their parents are split up, my brother doesn’t associate with the family anymore, and they have been in an ongoing custody battle over the kids, which includes my mom taking custody.  My parents, my sisters, and myself, have all helped raise those kids for the past 15 years.  My niece is 15 and my nephew is 14.   my niece since day one of hearing about my wedding has been so excited to come i just can’t say no to them.  They are like my own kids.

My FH thinks it’s unfair because some of his cousins have kids and he thinks they should come too….. but we can have no more then 80 people at the wedding, but i still am stuck on only my niece and nephew only.  I do not want any other kids there… and i have not even ever met his cousins or their kids, and he hasn’t seen them in like 4 years.

Post # 10
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with PP. I would stick with just close family/the wedding party so it seems like you have a clear rule rather than cherry picking certain kids. 

Post # 11
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am in the same boat. I think what we are going to do is address the invitations to who we WANT to come. (and hopefully they’ll get the hint.) Then maybe word of mouth, “we want as few kids as possibe, so if you dont have to bring them, then dont” 🙂

Post # 12
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

@RockStar33:  To be fair, your niece and nephew are not kids and won’t be running around screaming and doing things kids do (like destroy your cake) and I understand that situation completely since my niece is in a simiar situation. So he’ll just have to tell everyone to get over it and its a very limited guest list.  

@jesses.girl:  I wish I could help you here, but I do not see anyone else other than my niece (whose 4) coming and possibly my 3 kids I sit for every week (their kinda like my babies) and if anyone else freaks out because they weren’t allowed to bring theirs I will tell them too bad. If I had a kid that they didn’t know or weren’t close to I wouldn’t be offended, its not like they can’t spend ONE DAY away from them! 

Post # 13
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would make a clear rule and stick to it. At my wedding we had the ring bearer and flower girl, and that was it. 

Post # 14
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Unfortunately I think you’re going to have to make a hard rule and stick to it. It wouldn’t be fair to the other guests to say no children and then them to show up and they see other children there (that aren’t brothers or sisters or in the wedding party) It sucks but that’s the same as saying they aren’t important enough to allow their children.

Post # 15
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m having adults only, but I have the flower girl and ring bear and then my family from Vegas that I’m allowing to bring their kids (we’re super close and they have no babysitter since everyone wil be at the wedding) a total of kids would be around 8  at the most, so I’m really not worried. 

Post # 16
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee

I’m only having my nephew who is in the wedding & then we made a decision to not have other kids under 13.  We struggled with it because we hae some nieces/nephews that are well behaved and others that are not. In the end we decided to just say no to kids under 13.

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