- 8 years ago
…make one heck of a team.
After a few cocktails, I laid it all out on the line Thurs night. Told him I was not happy, told him I couldn’t take the status quo anymore, told him I had to move on with life. Of course, I’ve told him all these things before, but in a sugar-coated way. This wasn’t sugar-coated. It wasn’t mean or angry…it was just blunt. I laid it all out except for the “new and improved” ultimatum date. And although all of the previous conversations had probably gone in one ear and out the other, you could tell by his reaction that this one would stick. You could also tell by his reaction what the crux of the biscuit was. All excuses aside, in the end, he just didn’t want to have to make a decision. This was blatantly obvious when I asked him 4 times “do you want to marry me”, and he just couldn’t bring himself to answer.
So of course we continue to discuss it this weekend. He clearly knows I’m not playing, but he also thinks I’m bluffing and that I won’t be able to follow thru with it. I told him I was going to the ring store to confirm my ring size, and he volunteered to go, although he was miserable when he was there. But the guy gave him all the info on the ring (again), so hopefully he won’t lose the card this time. I also laid out the time frame. I told him that even though we had previously set July (which he was still kinda surprised by), I told him there was no reason to wait another 6 months…there’s nothing he’s gonna learn about me, no aha! moment, etc., that he’s gonna figure out in 6 months that he can’t figure out in 2.
So it takes 4-6 weeks to order the ring. And it’s late January now. And my brother needs to know by beginning of April on whether my SO will be in the wedding or not. So I told my SO he has until the end of March.
In our commentary throughout the weekend, of course he’s trying to say that I’m kicking him out, that I’m the one making the decision, etc. But I just stood my ground and said that I was moving forward with life, and it’s his decision of whether he want to move forward with me or not…that the status quo was done. Everything has been said. And I’m sure we’ll continue to comment on it to one another and to the dogs. But he knows I’m not playing anymore.
Again, I have no clue whether I’ll actually be able to follow through in March. And although he “got the message” this weekend, I suspect it will “wear off” as the weeks pass, such that I”ll have to start collecting boxes in March just to remind him.
But that’s the situation. And martinis were the key.