(Closed) Listen to my FI’s plan for the non-RSVPers

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I plan to call everyone two days before our deadline and tell them if they don’t get it to us, they don’t eat… Fiance doesn’t like that idea, but I think it’s funny. And after all the tears spilled during this process, some laughter is welcome!

Post # 4
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Honestly, it’s what you have to do sometimes – if people don’t have the common courtesy of RSVPing on time, then they don’t have a seat at the reception. Now…I did call or email all of the offenders, and I basically gave them a deadline saying that if I didn’t hear from them by X date, I would be forced to assume they weren’t coming. Most responded within the day, but a few didn’t, and I just checked them off the list as nos.

Good luck! I hope they RSVP by the deadline!

Post # 5
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree. If you don’t rsvp, you don’t come, but I think it’s nice to call people a little ahead of time to ask them if they are, if they haven’t rsvped already, if they don’t have an answer for you, and don’t answer you by the rsvp date, well then frankly I believe they shouldn’t come, because I’m not gonna spend money on someone who might not be there.

Post # 6
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

That was my plan! My mom said nooo

Post # 7
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It’s sort of rude of people NOT to RSVP (i mean if they just plain forgot that’s a different story) so I don’t think you are being rude at all!

Plus -I think we’re going to end up doing the same thing – I think it’s awkward to call people you don’t even know and be like “hey are you going to come to my wedding”… considering my guest list consists of mostly people my parents know…

Post # 8
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think you need to be prepared that they will show up at the wedding anyway. If your Fiance won’t call them and ask them now if they are coming or not, when is he going to call them and tell them they are uninvited? They very well may be planning on coming. And if they do show up, is your Fiance going to tell them they have to leave? Probably not. I would have sometone call.

Post # 9
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I never knew people would call if you didn’t rsvp. Whenever i received an invite for a wedding i assumed that i if i didnt rsvp by the deadline i was no longer invited because they’d have to order food. It would be really rude of them to count on you calling them to check if they are coming imo. And I wouldnt phrase it as uninvited maybe, but more like “I’m sorry we have already given our numbers to the caterer and they cannot be changed.” 

Post # 10
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have a few non-RSVPers.  I cannot even tell you how annoying this is.  Here is my plan:  if I know you received the invitation and received my follow-up reminder to book a hotel room, then you are counted as a “no” if you did not RSVP.  (Obviously, for people that verbally told me they are coming but I have not received the actual response card, that is a different story.)

For those that I have not heard from at all, I called right at the deadline to make sure they received the invitation.

Post # 11
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We did actually follow up with everyone who didn’t RSVP (it was a LOT By The Way, like over 50% didn’t respond by the deadline). At the time of th efollow up, we told their voicemail or email (b/c they won’t answer the phone, trust me) that if they didn’t respond within 1 week we would assume they weren’t coming. It worked for the most part, but we did still have some people finally RSVP the week of the wedding who had been hiding underground until that point.

Post # 12
16196 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would follow up, because you run the risk of them showing up despite their lack of RSVP.

Post # 13
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would follow up. If you have to leave a message let them know that you “hate to be a bother but we need the final number by tomorrow, so please let us know by then if you can. We’d love to have you but need to finalize our headcount” or something haha. kill um with kindness sort of thing and see how it goes

Post # 14
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think you do need to put in a call – what if it got lost in the mail or something else happened? I know the feeling of just wanting to be done with it, but you may end up causing yourself unnecessary stress later on.

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