Post # 1
We’ve got several grandparents, but not all of them are coming to our wedding. And I’m confused on who is listed in the program (and who gets bouts/corsages).
From my side, there’s my Dad’s adopted mom, who has been my grandma all my life and will be listed as one of my grandparents. My grandpa, her husband, died in 2000. Then there’s my mom’s parents, who will both be listed. Then my dad has his biological family, who he’s had an on and off relationship with over my lifetime. His mom and dad are both deceased, but his dad remaried and that semi step mom (who is now also remarried to a totally different guy that’s not coming) is coming to the wedding. So for my side: do I list my deceased grandpa? I’m 99% sure I won’t list the semi step grandma, that’s ok right?
For his side it doesn’t get any less tricky. From his mom’s side, his grandma will be there and will be listed in the program. Then his grandpa (divorced and remarried) and step grandma will not be able to attend. Do we list at least his grandpa still? What about the step-grandma? Then for his dad’s side his grandparents recently moved to California and decided they can’t come back for the wedding. Should we still list them even though they’ve been fairly selfish about not coming to the wedding? And lastly, his step-mom’s parents (so another different set of step-grandparents) will be there, should we list them?
Post # 3
My goodness that is complicated! I think I would almost lean towards not listing any since there are some seriously complicated relationships- adoption, remarriage, step grandparents. It really depends on your relationship with each of them.
Post # 4
I agree with PinkPinstripes. People will often mention in the program the people who have died, but I don’t think you have to list all/any grandparents unless you want to.
I think it really depends on what is important to you and your groom.
Post # 5
I agree with the above posters not to list any to avoid a lot “how are they related” issues. BUT if you want to have grandparents listed I would only list the ones that have held an active role to each of you. Meaning that Dad’s biological parents shouldn’t be listed because you really have no relationship with them other than DNA. On your FI’s side you should list the all the grandparents and new spouses with the exception of the Stepmother’s parents, unless he has a relationship with them there is no reason for them to be listed. Flowers go to all listed on the program. Hope that helps and good luck!!!
Post # 6
Ours isn’t quite as messy, but my father’s parents both remarried, I grew up calling his father/stepmom “grand” but then restarted a relationship w/ his mom in the past 5 years (and she’ll be there). We’re listing both the dad and stepmom in our special remembrance section (have passed) but not stepdad, as I never knew him as a grandfather. His Mom is up w/ my mom’s parents in the family section.
I agree w/ the PPs in general, in that you list who you feel is important to you. For us, it was important to have a remembrance section since FI’s father has passed, but leaving it off is an option. And if you don’t treat certain members as grandparents, don’t list them.