Post # 1
My Mom and Maid/Matron of Honor are throwing me a shower in a few weeks. The shower will be at my Mom’s house and I know that she is paying for almost everything. My Maid/Matron of Honor is still in school and my Mom enjoys hosting events. My other bridesmaids aren’t really involved because they live far away and/or are too busy with their families. My Maid/Matron of Honor sent me the invite to see what I thought of it and it listed my Mom and her as the hosts of the event. Now she told me that she doesn’t want to list my Mom’s name on the invitation because it is poor etiquette for a family member to host a shower. I think this will hurt my Mom and that it is unfair since my Mom is the one paying for almost everything and hosting the event at her house. Any advice??
Post # 3
Hm well I’m unaware of any etiquette rules involving shower invites, but my inclination is to definitely list your mom. If she’s hosting, she’s hosting!, and you should honor her with the credit!
Post # 4
That etiquette rule is true, but it’s not really followed anymore. I’ve never actually been to a shower that wasn’t hosted by a family member (my mom and sister are hosting mine). I think it really depends on where you live too.
If you and your mom are comfortable with her name on there than just tell your Maid/Matron of Honor to please list it.
Post # 5
I don’t know. It is considered bad etiquette to have the MOB as the shower host (your family asking people to give you gifts goes against etiquette rules). Although, I’m sure what you describe happens pretty often (and was sort of the case at a shower I went to recently). I don’t know about you, but my mother is more in-tune with etiquette rules than I am, and I don’t think she would want to be listed on the shower invitation because she knows the rules. I would talk to your mom about it, see what she thinks, and then do whatever she wants. You don’t have to follow every single rule.
Post # 6
It’s true, etiquette does say that your mom should not be listed as a host. But like ES123 said, you don’t need to follow every rule. If your mom would be hurt by not being listed, list her. Her feelings are way more important than some etiquette "rules"!
Post # 7
Also, it may be pretty obvious that your mother played a large role in organizing the event even without listing her name as a "hostess" explicitly – because it’ll be at her house! It would be pretty natural to include her name elsewhere at the invitation, such as "..at the home of DaisyBride’s Mother" without having to list it at the very top, where it could strike some etiquette-sticklers as being out of place.
Post # 8
Thanks for the responses!
I would ask my Mom what she thinks but we aren’t from the US and they don’t do Bridal Showers back home so we’re not really up on the Bridal Shower Etiquette.
Post # 9
The invites for the shower I’m MOH’ing list the bride’s mom and her attendants. I did it that way so everyone felt included. I would tell your Maid/Matron of Honor that Mama’s name should be on there or else her feelings will be hurt.
Post # 10
I don’t really get this etiquette rule…it seems really old fashioned to me. I mean, most brides have a shower, so why is it that if mom throws it for you, it is gift grabby? Nine times of out ten someone throws a shower and if mom wants to do it, who cares?!
I was my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and hosted it at my mom’s house (easier, better location, etc). I wish I could remember what we put on the invites!!
Anyways, I would list them both on the invite.
Post # 11
My first post!
I have heard of this ettiquiete rule, but know many who do not go by it anymore. I feel it’s an outdated that should be left up to the individual.
My step mom & mom are throwing me a shower & I so happy that they want to do that for me.
After all wouldn’t you want someone who truly cares about you to throw one, family or friend?