Lol – breathe girl! Even Sola Scriptura denominations would not allow the word of God to be changed… it’s not that it’s stuffy and not modern but it’s just that the Bible is not up for revisions.
As for the “subordination” passage, there is a whole huge spiel I could go through that would help you not be offended by it… I don’t want to thread jack and go into Theology however. I’ll just leave it at “it’s not what it seems” and Jesus gave more respect to women that was ever given in the time. On top of that, the Catholic church has always been “before the times” in regards to equality and respect of women. As a English/Literature scholar I’m sure you can understand how there are sometimes deeper meaning and different translations of literature than what is on the surface.
The church DOES evolve in matters where it can. Changing the bible or mass is not a place change is allowed. If you search back to Justin in A.D. 155, he wrote to the Roman emperor describing what we know as the mass….
On the day we call the day of the sun, all who dwell in the city or country gather in the same place. The memoirs of the apostles and the writings of the prophets are read, as much as time permits.
We don’t read as long as possible anymore, but still read from the old testament, psalms, new testament, and gospels.
When the reader has finished, he who presides over those gathered admonishes and challenges them to imitate those beautiful things.
Then we all rise together and offer prayers for ourselves… and for all others, wherever they may be…
Then someone brings bread and a cup of water and wine mixed together to him who presides over the brethren. He takes them and offers praise and glory to the Father of the universe, through the name of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…
When he has concluded the prayers and thanksgivings, all present give voice to an acclamation by saying: Amen. When he who presides has given thanks and the people have responded, those whom we call deacons give to those present the eucharisted bread, wine and water and take them to those who are absent.
Communion and sending forth
Essentially, the mass is the same thing the apostles started with Christ at the last supper.
While you can’t replace the Liturgy of the Word, you can request your pastor to include certain readings in his homily as they speak to you as a couple. You can place something in your program for people to read, or have them read at the reception.
There is beauty to be found in the reassurance that things Christ started are the same… and that at mass we are celebrating Christ as Christians have done since his time. If you have questions about the mass or Catholic Church, may I suggest “Rome sweet home” by Scott Hahn which is his story of conversion from being a protestant minister and “The Lambs Supper” by Scott Hahn which will tell you pretty much everything you need to know about the history and step by step of the mass. He looks at things through a protestant eyes and really goes in depth about each little thing.
ETA: While I was writing this I see you questioned further about language and subordination… if you still have questions I can try and help, but the PP did a good job of the basics…